Though it’s not commonly known among mortals, nexes run on a production and marketing cycle not unlike cars, televisions, and computers. Traditionally the new models come out in June, but necromancy is a competitive industry and the major producers are always trying get to get an edge on one another, moving the release dates back further and further this year.
The upshot is that I just got a shipment of cursed amulets, charms, and so forth, each of which allows the user to magically inflict infertility, disfigurement, male pattern baldness, and so forth upon a single victim. Now, don’t misunderstand me: I am NOT offering discounts on any of those. But I need to make space, so I AM willing to reduce prices on the 656 pieces I need to move from the stock room. Hell, I’ll even let a few of 'em go gratis, if I am persuaded your purpose is sufficiently iniquitous. Otherwise I’ll need to know what you have to trade.
No, you can keep your modern hexes. For me, the older the better. I’d rather have a good 18th-century hex, once prised from the fingers of a dying warlock, than the cheap modern stuff made on production lines in China or India.
“Received this year” does not mean “production begun this year.” Or even this decade. I only deal in quality material, and the hexes I am clearing out all took no less than a century to make.
As for the dying warlock bit, I submit that if he were a GOOD – er, skilled – warlock, he’d not have been dying.
You got anything involving the removal and/or undoing of toupees? There’s this yammerhead who’s got this front and side combover who’s been making a yutz of himself recently.
How about this one for removal of all hair, natural and otherwise, and making replacement impossible?
What do you have to trade?
In the first place, immortality enchantments are only rumors. It is not in the interest of The Great and Merciless Maw to have any mortal live indefinitely, any more than it is in the policy of the Perambulating Carpenter to do such a thing.
In the second place, if the warlock does not have an elementary Destroy Citadel and Render All Magickal Devices Impuissant enchantment ready, I submit that he is not a competent warlock in the first place.
There’s an ex-girlfriend that I was quite serious about who cheated on me. Have you got anything that will make anyone coming into any sort of sexual contact with her immediately and violently ill? Preferably some combination of projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea.
Careful, proposals like that are not only going to get you blocked from the sale they might make you a target.
DOH, warning you could make me a target.
Hmmm, I’ve got an coworker who needs a truth hex. If he could be forced to tell the truth during his status reports (and for kicks when talking to his wife) I would be highly entertained.
Wouldn’t that mean it’d affect you? Then again, I got the idea that these are the lesser hexes, since he’s willing to get rid of them so easily.
The only thing I might be willing to try some sort of empathy hex: making someone without remorse feel remorse for the first time. But I have a feeling any hex I purchase from this seller will backfire on me eventually. Forgive me for not trusting the evil mastermind…
Hexes are evil. How is that evil? Why would I have a charm that could do that around in the first place, except for reverse-engineering & repurposing (i.e., to cause rob people of the ability to feel remorse)?
