This reminds me of my friend’s wife inviting all the golfers for a cookout and one guy brought 20 cheeseburgers from the dollar menu.
I don’t bring something because it’s a social norm. I bring something because I like sharing good things with friends. I’ll usually try and bring a wine that 1) I know they particularly like; or 2) something they haven’t had, but that I think they will like. I feel no obligation to do this, and I certainly don’t feel like I’m “coddling” anyone.
If someone shows up at my house empty handed, I’m fine with that. I expect nothing, but if someone brings something, it’s appreciated. I actually wouldn’t want anyone to bring something if they felt obligated to do so.
It’s all about sharing the love.
I can’t believe this needs to be explained at all.
It’s a good gesture among friends and HEY! More wine!
I don’t begrudge anyone who likes to give gifts, I just take issue with the hosts that expect them.
Guys like John Mace are tops in my book.
I forgot to add, I don’t notice if somebody doesn’t bring anything. If they do, it’s a nice surprise, but I don’t expect other people to live by the same rules I do.
It seemed pretty clear from that line and your previous “that guy” comments that you consider those of us who would be willing to show up empty-handed to be somewhat lesser in manners and breeding than yourself, and that if we actually knew and gave a fuck about our host/ess we would of course have the grace to take part in an obvious on-the-spot quid quo pro re: our dinner. Which (besides being really very insulting) is weird to me, because if anything I would feel a lot more obliged to engage in the whole quid quo pro thing with someone who just randomly invited me out of the phone book, what with later reciprocal hospitality hinging on us hitting it off and all.
With friends, reciprocity at some point in the future is that can be and is taken for granted. Besides, my friends aren’t the sort of people who would respond to someone bringing a bouquet by shoving them in the handiest glass of water and carrying on with dinner prep. Reading posts about not displaying the flowers or opening the wine/candy immediately, I have the exact same “What sort of asshole would do that?” reaction a lot of folks have to the idea of showing up empty handed. Shoving a gift aside is just…well, it Isn’t Done. The wine glasses and corkscrew get pulled out immediately, the hunt under the kitchen sink for a vase in undertaken within moments. If someone is up to the elbows in making dinner, that’s more than a little disruptive.
I don’t drink and am intimidated by shopping for wine. Unless I know you well enough to know your strong preference for a very specific wine I’m not bringing wine.
“You don’t go empty handed” was part of my upbringing, but so was something called a “hostess gift.” Realizing Sklad is not a hostess, I’d still bring a small gift. There is a business not far from me that roasts nuts in house. Their unsalted Fancy Mixed Nuts (fancy=no peanuts) are delicious. Unless my host is a neighbor who also shops there, that’s a favorite thing of mine to take. Other options are a pound of coffee beans (also roasted locally, in the same business park - but only if I know you have a grinder), or some handmade chocolates.
My best friend hosts me frequently. She cooks extravagantly and over prepares for “what if someone comes who doesn’t like ___” She also hates having leftovers in her house of any sort. To her house I usually only take some empty Rubbermaid containers.
I’d not be offended if a guest brought something to an event I hosted. And I’d like to bring a small item if I was invited to your place. Wine, for instance, doesn’t need to be opened now if it doesn’t fit the meal.
Why, I’d never judge your breeding or class. Your reply delights me… and although I disagree with it wholeheartedly, I look forward to sharing it with friends.
Have a Nice Day…! 
I think it’s hilarious that so many people here are getting bent out of shape about not bringing anything and thinking that those of us who might are somehow being judge-y about it.
Re-read the OP, people. You have to assume that you have had a meal at Skald’s house before and enjoyed what you had. Further, wouldn’t you have a rough idea of the household’s take on alcohol and general preferences by spending time there? If I’m told bring nothing, sometimes I have in fact done just that, but generally will bring something (usually wine, as my friends enjoy it, or beer as cases vary) for their enjoyment later and as a Thank You for your hospitality. If they open it right away, cool. If not, so what?
Were Skald to visit me and I said,“Hey come on over with the brood and don’t bring anything!” That is precisely what I would expect; why would I get my nose out of joint if they did exactly as I asked? Conversely, I don’t take offense when my friends come over and bring an appy or dessert because they are selective in what they eat, for dietary or personal reasons. I make what I like and will try to accommodate as best I can but if you don’t like creme brulee and brought a chocolate cake? Excellent, two desserts!
Just what exactly makes this a “sit-down” dinner? Does Skald occasionally invite folks over to eat but not offer chairs?
Your joke falls flat when one remembers that one sits down in chairs.
Please PM a system admin for a humor upgrade.
Not a joke. Wondering about the term “sit-down dinner”. 
Reported. Seems to be a board glitch. Jerry is on it.
A sit-down dinner is indoors and in the dining room of a private home, as opposed to, say, an outdoor barbecue, which in my experience tend to be potlucks.
I’ve never heard of a sit-down dinner. At a regular dinner the people stand around and chit-chat while the hosts stand around in the kitchen making the food. So is a sit-down dinner one where people sit around while chit-chatting and the hosts sit while they cook? That sounds hard.
:eek:
If the food isn’t basically ready when my guests arrive, I’m not doing the cooking right.
Of course, some persons, like a certain Rhymer sister who shall remain nameless, insist to the point of perversity on arriving 90 minutes to 2 hours after the time specified by the invitation. Which is why she doesn’t get invited to non-holiday dinners.
ETA: But promptness is another thread.
A dinner where the guests remain seated as opposed to a potluck or buffet.
Alternatively, a dinner that takes place at the table at a set time with the entire household as opposed to in the living room or when an individual is ready to eat.
This has been another edition of Explaining Things That Shouldn’t Need To Be Explained.
So, Skald-Did you say what you would bring, if anything?
I was trying not to infect the thread with my own opinions. And actually the conversation mutated from what I intended (but in a valid and interesting way), which was whether a guest to a sit-down dinner should bring, oh, a casserole, and expect to have it served with everything else, as recently happened with me and the missus. The thread developing as it did was largely because I was being coy in the OP, and thus was nobody’s fault but mine.
But to answer the question as it developed in the thread: to a sit-down dinner as described in the OP, I’ll bring a GIFT. Probably not a bottle of wine, but that’s because I don’t drink much and thus don’t have the knowledge to choose well. So flowers or a box of candies (or, if I’m being Evil!Skald, the severed head of the last person to cut off the host in traffic 
).