Jarbabyj writes for MLB.com...or maybe it was Exprix!

Out of a morbid fascination with the pointless, today I cruised by MLB.com to check out the results of the baseball draft. Not being an expert on baseball prospects, I went to the page where each draft pick was listed, along with a description. As I read the info on the first few draft picks, I had to rub my eyes and check to make sure these players were not being rated by Playgirl.com. Each player bio started with a description straight from the pages of Harliquin Romance novels. Some examples:

“Good body. Large, raw-boned frame”

“Long, thickly muscled arms and legs on large frame”

“Slender, lean, wiry build. Loose, quick”

“large hands, strong”

“Rippling pectorials below an angelic face with a carefree glint of mischiff in his striking blue-green eyes”

“Hung like a Clydesdale stallion”

Well, OK, I took the last two from comments about me from that same Playgirl website, but it does seem odd to check out a bio on a baseball player and get a physical description that seems somewhat…steamy.

If it was Jarbabyj there would be “cuntwaffle” and “dickfunnel” type insults thrown in there too.

Ahh, hell! That OP was mine. Sorry, all.

I was wondering how Ginger came to be hung like a Clydesdale.

Wow. Talk about a double-take.

Good LORD. You think YOU did a double-take. I may have to suspend his posting privileges.

Oh, I could tell it was him by the spelling.

Yeah, really. Whoever heard of a pectorial?:wink:

“large raw-boned frame”? What the heck does “raw-boned” mean? I don’t think it means what I think it means.

Maybe the journalist was trying hard not to repeat phrases too often, and invented a term that doesn’t really make sense. I think Jarbaby is a better writer.

My Merriam-Webster defines “rawboned” thus:
relatively thin with prominent bone structure; also : heavy-framed and rugged but not attractively built
syn lean, angular, bony, gaunt, lank, lanky, scraggy, scrawny, skinny, spare

So it’s a real word, and the writer was basically saying the guy is skinny. Though combining that with “good body” doesn’t really make a lot of sense, so maybe the writer didn’t really understand what the term meant.

<TOTALLY off-topic>

While Ginger and Weirddave’s love for each other and serendipitous meeting has had lovely and romantic repercussions for them, and while the meeting of two souls in harmony (make me stop, the bile’s rising) is nothing if not wondrous…

Dave posting under Gingy’s handle is my FAVORITE part of their relationship. Gingy is now, according to this board, hung like a horse and eager to watch lesbians smoking cigars (or something).

In short and in closing: BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

</T o-t>

Yeah, I’m with Hamadryad here. This is vastly entertaining.

I wonder why it’s only Dave that screws this up. Ginger seems to have her act together?

What do you think? Is it a canadian thing or what?

I’m just lovely and on the ball. Not that Dave isn’t, but I’m a titch more - what? Anal? Sure, it fits. Sorta.

I think that’s what Juggs magazine calls their photo spreads.

:stuck_out_tongue:

I’m not touching that one with a (heehee) ten foot pole.

Is this how the conversation went, the first time you two tried it that way? :smiley:

Or maybe like this:

D: Anal?
G. Sure.
D. It fits.
G. Sorta.

::D&R::

Run. Run very, very fast, very, very far.

Nope. Think about matt_mcl and hamish, and their perennial attempts to make clear who said what with whose name. :slight_smile:

What I find most interesting is that neither jarbaby nor Esprix has posted here yet. (I’m referring to the thread title ofcourse, not to any of the shenanigans that this thread has devolved into.)

just found it!

I’d love to write for mlb.com, describing the sun kissed boys of summer with their lean, sculpted arms and angled jaws, a day’s scruff revealing the hard work of the night before. They wipe a bit of sweat from their brow, and lower into a crouch, flexing the muscles of their thick, hardened thighs as the ball whistles past.

pardon me…I need to go be alone