Jennifer Hudson - Not pitworthy, but a bit angry and mystified.

Here.
First, yes this is awful. Depressingly, sad, angry, beyond understanding - awful.

Here’s the anger now. Without doing a lot of digging around, I’ll go with what I know. She was an upstart girl with a set of lungs from the southside who won on Idol. Myself, I don’t get it- but mostly because it’s not my cup of tea. I understand she’s considered The Next Big One - big selling CD’s, an Oscar, etc.

She comes from Englewood. The single most crime ridden neighborhood in the city. This would be the city with an uncontrollable handgun murder problem. Around here we’re almost numbed to the TV news showing us one more family, or even worse - some student lying under a white sheet on the news. One weekend last year, there were EIGHT students murdered between Friday and Sunday night.

I saw the picture of the house her mom was killed in. Sad to say, it’s typical of that very depressed neighborhood. Her mom and sister lived in a small home, smack in the middle of the worst possible place for her to live. Tell me all about how “mom didn’t want to move, she loved her neighborhood”.

Flip this situation. Dad hits the big time somewhere. Literally an instant millionaire. And you hear repeatedly on his way up is how much he loves his kids and how much they gave up to help him become who he is now. Then, after he moves to the big time, he lets the kids - older teens for argument’s sake so he’s not breaking any laws leaving them - stay in the old house in the old 'hood.

I’m sorry, I think that if you feel that parents have the obligation to do their best to take care of their kids, that once we’re grown, and we have the means to do the same, we’re pretty much obligated. Yeah, mom liked the neighborhood and doesn’t want a Michigan Avenue penthouse. Fine. A nice bungalow in a safe, secure neighborhood. Yes they exist all over the city and in nearby 'burbs.

Talk her into it! Remind her of all the shootings that have happened on her street, all the times kids get shot at random by bangers that can’t hit a barn, and spray the inside of a house where some kid gets to die just for looking out his window. Point to every house on the street where someone she knows has been mugged, killed or shot. Remind her that her 7 year old grandson is in her house. Then tell her “mom, I love you, I need you to move because I cannot feel like a good daughter if I can’t do at least this much with my money to protect you”.

I got madder as I wrote this. Any Mod, if you think this should be moved, drop it down one line to the Pit.

MBG

It appears to be a case of domestic violence (Jennifer’s sister’s husband). In that case, the quality of the neighborhood doesn’t matter.

Not only that, but apparently the OPer doesn’t know anyone who’s truly, maddeningly stubborn. I do. Trust me, there is no amount of pleading, arguing, begging, talking, convincing, explaining, encouraging, etc., that will get them to budge. And we have no idea that Jennifer didn’t try to do any or all of the above.

Which misses the larger point - that no matter what the exact circumstances - that she let her mom stay there. Handgun possession and violence is rampant there. Just being there makes her more susceptible to becoming a victim.

Let? The woman was an adult. What did you expect Jennifer to do, kidnap her and forcibly move her against her will? Good luck with that.

Not only what they said, but how do you know that Hudson was even close to her mother?

Ok, I can take some back. [Mom wanted to stay there.](The Rev. Willie Davis, pastor of the Progressive Baptist Church, where Ms. Hudson and her family were members, said that despite her daughter’s celebrity, Ms. Donerson chose to stay and live on the South Side, WLS reported. “That says a lot about the fact of the kind of family Jennifer comes from,” Mr. Davis was quoted as saying. “They’re a family of faith. They want to be attached to their roots.”)

It’s been pretty much [public knowledge](Just days before she won an Academy Award for “Dreamgirls,” Hudson came back to Progressive to give a concert to repay Chicago for its support. Her mother, Darnell Donerson, was there. “It’s very exciting, and I love my daughter very much,” Donerson told the crowd. Her mother was at her side at the Cannes Film Festival as well for the “Dreamgirls” premiere. They shared a close and loving relationship. Hudson’s family was one reason she returned to Chicago often, accepting an award just last weekend at the Chicago International Film Festival.) around here that her and her mom were close.

I still stand by two points:

That neighborhood is one big flashpoint. Domestic violence is a more deadly occurrence there than other places. Handguns are prevalent, and the suspect has a pretty extensive record before all this.

I’m not here to hate Jennifer or her mother. I just don’t understand staying in that area when you have every chance to break free. I have heard that I don’t understand stubborn people (False - you don’t know my family, our history or relationships. I’ve been almost exactly where she was with the most stubborn man you ever met.) Or that the neighborhood atmosphere doesn’t play a role here.

I’ve been in or around this city all my life. There’s so much more violence in certain neighborhoods than in parts of countries we see on the news every day. Violent atmospheres bring violence. What I’ve heard is that the police have speculated that this is a domestic incident. I got a shiny nickle to bet there’s more to this than we know now.

Hey - ultimately the fault here lies with the guy with the gun in his hands. I’m just wondering why people involved here choose to stay there when they don’t have to.

Lucky you made that clear, or no-one else would have realized.

Hudson didn’t win on Idol.

I am just guessing, but maybe they feel like if they keep leaving the “bad guys” win. A lot of people just want to stand their ground, and help turn a neighborhood around.

Anyway…very sad situation. Have they found the child?

It may be that Hudson felt that there were advantages to her family living in a place where they knew the whole neighborhood block.

From the article:

“Let” her? She was a grown woman, right? Mentally competent to make her own decisions? What right did her daughter have to remove her?

Because it’s their home. It’s been their home, and it will continue to be their home, until they die. Leaving is letting the assholes win, letting your (emotionally) precious community be lost to war and violence. This is not a community of people who moves three times before finishing college and half a dozen times for new jobs. This was a woman with roots. Relationships, which would have been torn apart if she had moved away.

Plus, of course, she was used to it. My California friends can’t fathom why I’d live somewhere with thunderstorms; I think they’re bonkers for living where there are earthquakes. You get used to the dangers of where you live, and things seem much scarier from the outside.

She was close to her mother, but if her mom had close relationships in the neighborhood, probably a church affiliation, family, etc…those are hard ties to break.

Tragic story. Jennifer Hudson must be devastated. All the wealth and fame in the world becomes meaningless.

ms hudson was living with her mother there until very recently. even in very bad neighbourhoods there are pockets of good.

i can only hope that they find her nephew safe and sound.
i can’t imagine what she is going through. it is a horrific situation.

I do understand - and probably could have given more thought before posting instead of just reacting - the pull of the neighborhood. My grandparents lived on a major street, in an area where every 5th house was boarded up, right up until they were iin their 90’s. Grandma was only convinced to move when her husband dies, and that even took most of two years.

So, yeah I see people want to stay close, and understand it - I’m not sure I could make that same choice though,

The poster Nzinga and I live in the same general area, but I live in the suburbs, and she lives in the “dangerous” inner city. I asked her a similar question awhile ago, and this is what she said:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9097700&postcount=79

I wouldn’t make the same choice, but my idea of safety isn’t the same as hers.

I hope that the child is okay, and that he’s found soon.

That’s what I want to hear too, that the kid has come home safe.

Well, I think we can all agree that her nephew (please let him be found and unharmed) should be moved. He deserves a chance. And maybe when he’s grown up, he can come back and help the neighborhood.

Well, I don’t know that we *all *can agree to that, yet. Be moved where?

This occurred to me last night and I just wanted to emphasize this. This man most likely would’ve done what he did no matter where they lived. Sure, it’s riskier to live in a dangerous neighborhood, but domestic violence happens on a daily basis in all kinds of neighborhoods, from the “safest” on down.