I just got done watching Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, and I must say that was one of the most unusual movies I have ever seen. For some reason it made these tiny muscles on the sides of my head near my eyebrows twitch, and I didn’t even know I had muscles there.
One of the strangest things about it is the contrast between the production values (which are abyssmal, it looks like it was shot on 8mm film (EDIT: it’s apparently 16mm) and the entire movie is dubbed) and the direction (which I found extremely competent). Most of the actors are pretty amateurish (though enthusiastic), the fight scenes made me laugh insanely with their cheesiness, and the special effects were very ‘special’. Yet the writing was very clever (and I admit would have been better delivered by better actors), and the directors obviously knew what they were doing and had a great eye for film - about 1/2 way through I started realizing that every shot WORKED, or would have if the movie had a budget of more than $40,000.
I honestly don’t know if this movie would be better with higher production values, but it definitely doesn’t rely on the ‘so bad it’s good’ production values for all of it’s laughs, and I think would do well as a big-budget action/comedy. Here’s how I’d cast it.
Jesus Christ - Keanu Reeves
Mary Magnum - I can’t think of anyone cuter than the girl who plays her in the original. Keep her.
Maxine Schreck - Janeane Garofalo
Johnny Golgotha - Jude Law
Father Eustace - Ice T
Santo Enmascarado de Plata - John Goodman
Dr. Praetorius - Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Miss Oddbottom - Jennifer Lopez