Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Cafe Society
1

Has anyone else seen this movie: Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter?

This is one of those “its so bad it’s good” B movies. The filmmakers clearly must have had fun making it. IMDB says in its trivia it was filmed on weekends over two years, and that none of the cast (except one) are pursuing an acting career.

I am really torn about whether to recommend you watch it. It was painful to endure, but I would not want to not have seen it. (huh?)

Tell you what. If this snippet of dialog turns your crank - rush out (not a transcript, best recollection):

[scene: Jesus is alone in a diner. He’s not doing too well in his vampire hunting. He’s just finished eating]

Waiter: [picking up the dishes] I’ll get your dessert.
Jesus: But I didn’t order dessert.
[Waiter gets big bowl of ice cream covered in cherries, places it before Jesus]
Ice Cream: [speaking through a slit in a scoop] Jesus!
Jesus: Is that you, bowl of cherries?
Ice Cream: Do bowls of cherries talk?
Jesus: Dunno, I’ve seen some pretty strange things in my life.
Ice Cream: I’m God.
Jesus: Oh, hi dad.

2

I almost forgot about that movie, I loved it! Probably the campiest movie ever.

3

This movie was totally insane. I don’t know that it was bad enough to be good, though.

I think they really screwed it up when they made jesus get a haircut. Sort of lost the shine after that.

4

Not as good as UltraChrist! Could’ve sworn I started a thread about this film when I saw it though…

5

I saw the movie, and what was interesting was that it’s been filmed in Ottawa, just a few minutes from my home. And the guy who plays Jesus works at the Bytowne cinema, I often see him there. I usually refer to him as “Jesus”.

6

I haven’t seen it, but I do have a copy of The Last Days of Christ the Vampire, a book which takes the opposite viewpoint.

7

If you liked that, you might also want to check out “Fatty Drives the Bus”.