it is witness approximaton
Depends on what spells he prepared that morning.
Even if all He had was the water-to-wine gimmick, He could have just changed all the water in the guards’ bodies into wine. They wouldn’t be doing no arresting after that.
What if Jesus were armed not with a throwing weapon that could be tossed just above their heads, but with, say, a single fish sandwich?
surely not a banana – the guards would have been trained for that
I come home from a long day at work, and Jesus is sitting on my couch. He has piercing blue eyes and looks a lot like Jeffery Hunter. By the smell I can tell that he has been warming up fish and bread in my microwave.
I tell him to leave and I have a long, uncomfortable conversation with my wife, because I think he is fucking her. Charges on our debit card confirm that they are both involved in a foot washing service.
I called my lawyer, Pete Roman. He took care of things.
Jesus fucking Christ.
If Jesus demonstrated proficiency in performing miracles, I’d take him on the road and manage him. We’d be headlining in Vegas in no time, especially if he learned to do some scare miracles and throw in some jokes like Penn & Teller. And he could assure a permanent engagement and get on the house’s good side if he made all the competing casinos disappear.
Are you really that good of a bowler? And what’s with the purple jumpsuit?
Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
I think some church with those movable letter signs should spell out
.
DON’T MESS WITH
. . . . THE JESUS.
I’d say the same as soon as I saw Him sitting on my couch.
Whattuadoingjere
“You were great on Hair of the Dog.”
Well, I’d like to believe he would be in good spirits, because he would know that I’m more interested in loving my fellow man than I am in guns. He would instinctively know where I’m coming from.
Maybe he would sample a few of my better weed strains. It was his creation, after all. He might have some of my Chick Corea music playing in the background. Or, he might be watching some old Warner Brothers cartoons on the tv. If he was involved in creating those things, he has my utmost respect.
In essence, I think we would get along just fine, despite my disrespect and disregard for religion. I suspect he doesn’t respect or regard religion any more than I do.
Christ, will you get your feet off the sofa?
Jesus, were you born in a barn?
The way things are going…