I was looking around the new Hastings bookstore (we had one that went out of business in 1994 – they just got around to putting a new one in) and over in the electronic games section, they have figurines from various shows. There were two that caught my eye almost immediately. Prominently displayed among the Simpsons, Dragonball Z and King of the Hill figures are the Jesus Action Figure and, on the peg below, the Moses Action Figure.
After I picked my jaw off the floor I almost had to leave the store because of the insane cackline I was about to unleash, brought about by the absurd possibilities such playthings would afford their young owners:
“Oh, yeah? Well Jesus runs across the lake to tackle your Moses!”
“Not so fast! While Jesus is running across the water, Moses parts it so Jesus falls in and drowns!”
“No he doesn’t! He turns the water into wine and drinks his way out!”
“He can’t do that!”
“Yes he can!”
[Fistfight commences]
Has anyone else seen these toys? Are there 12 Apostles for Jesus and perhaps some Patriarchs for Moses? Possibly there’s a Satan Action Figure and his minions of evil! Are these Actin figures tied in to some show I’ve (obviously) never heard of? The whole concept of even just Jesus and Moses as action figures strikes me as almost criminally absurd. I love it!
–SSgtBaloo