Jewish Dopers: What's the deal? How would you handle this?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Hey, y’all.

For starters (because, as you will soon see, it’s relevant): As some of you for whom I register on your radar might know, I’m a Jew of (mostly) African-American descent.

So, my university has a two-year language requirement, and since I’m not prepared to take on the second full year of French, I’ve decident to take Yiddish. That’s the practical reason. The other reason is that I’m already familiar with Yiddish, I like it, and I’d like to learn more of it. And…because I’m a Jew, and I think that, as a Jew, it’s important for me to familiarize myself at least a little with as many of the variations of Jewish culture and life that I can.

Well, yesterday was the first day of classes, and as I enter the room, the professor has just begun her introduction. She looks over at me and says, “You are here for Yiddish, yes?” To which I reply by taking off my hat (remember, I’d just come in), thus revealing my kippah, and saying, “Yes, I’m in the right place.” This elicited a chuckle from the class, and we moved on. Oh, yes, I wasn’t clear about this: I am the only black student in the class.

(I will add here, though, that I’m quite sure she was surprised that I actually have a Hebrew name. She told us that she wanted to know our Jewish names–non-Jewish students would be assigned a name by her–so that she could connect our names to Jewish culture and history. Oh, she also asked me how my Hebrew was, to which I replied, “I can read it, but I can’t write it.” She didn’t ask any of the other Jewish students this question–just me.)

Now that you have the set-up, here’s my question to all of you Doper Jews (both of European descent and of color, both “born” Jews–I can’t stand that phrase–and converts: How would you handle this? Oh, and here’s another question: Without saying how I’m Jewish (as far as Judaism is concerned, a Jew is a Jew), what’s your experience been WRT converts or people who are perceived to be converts? And do you ask perceived converts if they’re converts? And if so, why? Does it matter?

Okay, so that’s actually several questions, but I hope you’ll bear with me.

Now, I was taken aback by her assumption that I may have been in the wrong place, but I really don’t believe that she meant any offense (she actually seems quite nice). It’s just that, as a black Jew, this kind of are-you-really-Jewish-and-how-are-you-Jewish bullshit is not new to me (though it happens with less frequency these days than it used to years ago) and it seriously gets under my craw. The professor and I did speak briefly after class about my history, but I didn’t tell her how off-putting our introduction was. I mean, hell, she’s in her late 60’s to early 70’s, has lived around the world, and is at least familiar with Ethiopian Jews, so (even though I’m not Ethiopian) I would expect that I wouldn’t be all *that *odd, but still, it happened, and I feel that I need to address it with her.

Opinions? Experiences? All are welcome.

Thank you very much.

B’Shalom.

2

That should read “gets **in **my craw”, but I’m sure you get the point.

3

Are you a fan of Julius Lester? I read his book “Lovesong” and really thought it was excellent.

4

“I’ve decident”. WTF?! :smack: I swear, y’all, I really did preview, but apparently not as thoroughly as I would’ve preferred. “I’ve decided”. Honestly, I’m not a complete idiot.

And yes, this’ll be the last correction that I make to my OP, no matter how many more I find. I promise. ::insert sheepish smiley here::

5

Oh, yes, I read the book many years ago, and I liked it. I don’t know what he’s up to these days, though.

6

If you get an opportunity to share something about yourself (wither privately to the prof or as a class exercise) you could point out the unique difficulties you face being a black Jew- including the “are you a real Jew” explanations you often have to go through.

If she really is nice (and I’m sure she she is)- she’ll get it.

Good for you on the Yiddish!

7

My impression is that you overreacted with little evidence, unless there’s more than you’re telling us here. I’d interpret the event this way: If she’d already started, that makes me think you were late to class and this being the first day of class, she might have thought that not only were you late, you might be lost as well. Thus, she confirmed that this was indeed the class the late arrival sought by asking you, “You are here for Yiddish, yes?” Later you say she hadn’t asked anyone else about their Hebrew, but as the last individual to arrive, you don’t have any idea as to whether, or how, she may have addressed that issue with the rest of the class. How is it you became certain that she was surprised you have a Hebrew name? Did she gasp, or did her eyes go wide, or are you just leaping to a conclusion here?

You decided to interpret everything as an insult. Of couse, it’s possible that these were insults and signs of prejudice. But again, without more evidence, I just don’t see it at all. Was she acting really snide and rolling her eyes at everything? Was the class laughing and pointing and jeering? I just don’t see anything here worth getting your shorts in a bunch over. I’d also suggest that it won’t do you any good to assume that your instructor hates you with such slim evidence. Pick your battles more carefully. I’m getting the feeling you should get the chip off your shoulder and take it easy.

On the other hand, I’m not Jewish; I just look Jewish (well, at least my sisters say I look Jewish) and have a Jewish surname. So feel free to ignore me.

8

::sigh::

How do I know that she’d just started? Well–and perhaps I should have said this in my OP–I initially dropped my bag off in the room (she wasn’t there then), then dashed the ~50 feet to the bathroom and was back in less than two minutes. So no, she hadn’t addressed that other stuff with the class yet. She had just begun. Does that help you?

And did you even read the OP, sir, or were you in such a hurry to give me some smackdown that you completely missed the part where I *didn’t *accuse my teacher of hating me, and I *didn’t *say that there was pointing, laughing, and rolling of eyes?

You say you look Jewish, and that you have a Jewish surname? That’s great, because that means that no white Jew would *ever *ask you outside of context how your Hebrew was, or if your parents were Jewish, or if you keep Shabbat, or if you keep kosher, or assume that you *must *be a convert simply because you’re not of European descent, all of which has happened to me and many other Jews of color. I suggest that the next time you want to accuse a Jew of color of getting their panties in a bunch, you first learn about their experiences, then maybe you’d understand just why they might.

Or would you accuse all of us of having chips on our shoulders?

9

I agree. You bring a unique perspective that most, if not all, of your classmates will not have been exposed to before. Use this opportunity to help them all be more understanding.

10

First, thank you.

I don’t think that this class will allow for the kind of opportunity you’re talking about, but I do think that I have an “in”.

Y’see, the professor gave us an assignment, due Monday, where we are to write about something related to Yiddish (e.g., If no one in your family speaks Yiddish, why not? What brings you to Yiddish? etc.), and when I spoke with the professor after class, she suggested that I write about what brings me to Yiddish. I think that this assignment will give me enough room to manuever in which I can broach the subject at hand without…oh, I don’t know, being all up in someone’s face.

And the interesting thing is this: the professor may later on take these written responses and translate them into Yiddish and possibly share them with the class and with other people, so hey, vador l’vador (from generation to generation). :slight_smile:

We’ll see how it goes.

11

Well, I try to do that whenever I can, so if the opportunities present themselves (and, really, it’s not as if I’m hoping to be the center of attention or anything like that, 'cause I’m really quite shy unless I can “warm up” a bit), I’ll certainly do that. Thank you.

12

As a Jew who is little more than culturally Jewish anymore but was raised reform, I think you interpreted things correctly. And I think it’s sad. I am also guessing that the teacher is orthodox which leads into my own prejudices about our religion…so I won’t get into it too much.

That being said it has been my experience that converts are generally much more into the religion than people who were born into it. I also think that Judaism, in particular the orthodoxy has an inherent bias against those who converted, and as someone who is African American it will almost always be assumed that you are a convert. Judaism also has a tendency to distance itself from non Jews which hits you with a double whammy since almost no one is going to assume you are Jewish right off the bat. So you get hit with the goyem stick and it get’s followed up with the convert stick. Not a fun place to be. I feel for you.

I have a vivid memory of being told that I wasn’t Jewish by a classmate and his younger brother when I was 12. They told me this because I told them that my mother was a convert. They grilled me about her conversion process and concluded that she hadn’t really converted and that therefore I wasn’t Jewish. The fact that we were all studying for our Bar Mitzvah together didn’t really matter, my grandfather being a concentration camp survivor didn’t matter, the fact that I was raised Jewish with a mother who was far more religious than my father (who was born Jewish) didn’t matter, I just wasn’t one of them anymore.

They were kids. and kids are dicks and don’t really understand how these things work, but I think the fact that at that point in time (and 12 is a big year for Jewish kids) they were so willing to dismiss me…like I said I do have some prejudices when it comes to this kind of stuff. (Heck, it’s probably a large part of the reason why my fist tattoo was a large star of david on my right shoulder blade. I liked the irony. :D) But I think for people raised in the religion this sort of though process is just how they are raised. I don’t think she means anything by it, and I don’t think you should try to prove yourself to her. But if you brought it up to her I don’t think she would ever understand what she is doing. She probably doesn’t realize it herself.

Sorry, that got rambley…

So to answer your questions:

I probably, personally would just ignore it. The lady means well, she is just an idiot. That happens.

I don’t ask people if they are converts as I don’t really care. But I find that many converts like talking about the fact that they converted and are more often than not proud of it.

I typically view converts as people who know more about my religion than I do these days since you have to just through a lot of hoops to convert. Most converts, as I said, are very into Judaism it in a way I probably will never be. In fact, by your post I would guess that you are a convert even if you didn’t mention the color of your skin. Just because of your level of enthusiasm. Either that or I would guess you are very young, like teenager young.

Ok, I think that covers it. Sorry if I went off on a tangent or two.

13

I’m a convert, but you can’t really tell by looking at me that I’m not Jewish by birth, so I don’t tend to have experiences like yours.

I don’t ask people if they are converts. There is a rule in Judaism saying you shouldn’t do that. If they volunteer the information, I tell them that I am one too, but I never ask. It’s none of my business how they became Jewish, unless they want to tell me. I tell people that I am a convert if it seems relevant to the discussion at hand.

I’m sorry about what happened to you. There is a rule in the Talmud that says it is forbidden to remind a convert of their previous status or their ancestors’ religious status, and there is also a rule against shaming people (in fact, shaming people publicly is considered as bad as murder in Jewish law). Your professor was wrong to do what she did.

I would have a talk with your professor about how you feel singled out and have been made to feel like you don’t belong in this class by some of the things she has said and done. Cite specific examples of things she’s said or done. If she’s a decent person, she’ll at least try to do better.

Part of it is that Orthodox Judaism doesn’t recognize people who converted with a non-Orthodox rabbi (which is almost all converts to Judaism in the US) as Jewish, unless they go through a conversion with an Orthodox rabbi. I’ve even heard that not all Orthodox rabbis recognize conversions done by all other Orthodox rabbis.

14

Dumb question … yiddish is a language, so why in the name of little green apples would ones religion have jack shite to do with wanting to study it? Would it be so foreign that someone who is not jeewish would want to take yiddish? [Which if I remember correctly is NOT written in hebrew but in the standard roman alphabet.]

hell, I know a number of people would want to take it just for the hell of it. I wouldn’t mind taking it because it is related to german and I had been taking german.

15

Yiddish is essentially German written in the Hebrew alphabet. Most German speakers I know can understand Yiddish well enough to be able to follow along, just as a Spanish speaker can follow along in Italian. It’s not a national language as Spanish, Italian or German are; it’s tied to the cultural identity of Central and Eastern European Jews. Even those Jews who don’t practice their religion will pepper their speech with Yiddish words and phrases.

As I understand it, it’s not difficult for a German speaker of some fluency to learn Yiddish. But because it’s tied into culture and not region, there isn’t a lot of reason for a non-Jew to learn it unless that person is interested in Judaism and Jewish culture.

I strongly suggest the book Born to Kvetch by Michael Wex. It’s a good history of the language and its speakers and puts the whole thing into context.

Robin

16

It would be unusual for someone who is not Jewish and feels no connection to Jewish culture to take a class in Yiddish.

17

Uh, what? I am Jewish, with a Polish last name of the type that tends to be Jewish and other Jews ask me these questions all the time. I would consider it a topic of reasonably polite conversation between friendly Jewish people with different levels of observance. See also, “have you been to Israel?” and “Are you active in Hillel?”

Edited to add: except people never ask me if I’m convert. That IS a rude question.

18

And if you are a convert, does that make you any less Jewish than the biblical Ruth was? :slight_smile:

19

Sorry, other than a fair amount of german ancestry, and a liking for german language, and being as protestant as you can get I would not mind learning yiddish at all. But then again, I have taken french, spanish, italian, japanese mandarin chinese and german classes. I like words. Language is fun. My husband chimed in he would take yiddish if it was offered, and our roommate added she would take yiddish if it was offered.

So there, 3 pretty much white bread protestant nonjews who would take yiddish if it was offered as continuing education somewhere nearby. Nothing to do with jews, judaism, just a shared liking for learning and an interest in languages.

20

Your experience is a darn shame, but it doesn’t surprise me in the least. I was born and raised a conservative Jew, and I’ve often seen similar sorts of “wow, look at the convert!” behavior. Just recently, I got to hear from a family member all about the black guy that was a bar mitzvah guest at the local synagogue, and how he “wore a yarmulke and a tallis, and sang along with the prayers and everything!” :rolleyes:

And the sad thing is that I probably wouldn’t have thought anything wrong with that statement when I was growing up. I would have thought it just an observation. But now that I’m married to a non-Jew, who is “visibly non-Jewish,” I’ve gotten a bit sensitive about things. I’m sick of questions like, “will your wife convert?” And I worry about how my children will have to deal with similar comments and situations like yours. We’ve had our first converted as officially as possible to avoid as much as possible any future “you’re not really Jewish” comments, and plan to do the same with all the others, but I know that they will still have to deal with this kind of prejudice regardless.

So what I’m getting at is that I’ve seen both sides of this, and NAF has the gist of it. This sort of behavior is wrong and hurtful, but the people who exhibit it have no idea what they are doing. Judaism has been so insular for so long that the ethnically unusual Jew is a curiosity or an anecdote, when they should simply be another Jew. I don’t know of any real solution other than patience and a thick skin, and the hope that through constant exposure, such people will eventually understand that the “standard” Jew isn’t the only kind.