Jimmy Swaggart advocates killing people for looking at you the wrong way...

The BBQ Pit
1

…and then denying responsibility on Judgement Day.

Here’s a Windows Media Player/IE stream of the show. (Skip ahead about 36 minutes.)

I’m not sure what to make of his folksy disclaimer-- “I’m not knockin’ the poor homosexual.” ("I just think they want killin’) WTF?

Don’t worry, Jimmy- Nobody wants to marry a hydrophobic, black-hearted huckster like you.

Oh, and if you ever invite me to tea I’ll rip your entrails out through your ass and tell God you farted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the poor pharisees, they need love too.

2

Now let’s see, when I was in Sunday School they taught me that God knows everything.

So how in the heck can Swaggart, as a so-called Christian, say he’s going to “tell God he died”? Wouldn’t God know that already?

I echo your sentiments. I can’t imagine a woman looking lustfully at ol’ Jimmy, much less a man.

3

At least one that’s not being paid.
Who listens to this windbag anymore?

4

Hydrophobic?

5

I suppose it’s a golden opportunity to rant, but find it in your hearts not to rag on the poor guy – he’s obviously terribly afraid of his own humanity. And for the things he’s said, presuming that Jesus’ words in the Bible have any validity to them, he’s going to find himself terribly, terribly surprised, and not in a good way.

But you know, the idea of lying to God is one that some of Jimmy-boy’s favorite Old Testament stories speak of, and strangely enough, it doesn’t work, Jimmy. Give our regards to Osama when you get there, y’hear!

6

“Hydrophobia” used to be another word for rabies, hence “Hydrophobic” = “Rabid”. I don’t know why it came to mean that, but it did.

7

He then mentions how God calls homosexuality an “abom-nation” (or something like that). He kinda frowns on killing too, I thought. Guess I misread the Bible or something.

8

Hydrophobia was a major symptom of rabies in humans, and thus the name was popularly applied to the disease itself.

As an aside, some writers also believed that rabies caused lycanthropy, acting like a dog or wolf.

9

I read “hydrophobic” as “too scared of water to bathe”, and it fit in the OP pretty well.

10

I’ve always been surprised at how many otherwise reasonable, intelligent people believe that an acceptable response to a homosexual come-on would be violence.

People, you don’t have to either fuck or fight some guy just because he flirted with you. Either have enough confidence in your sexuality to say, “No, thanks,” or admit your curiosity and evaluate the proposition on its own merits.

11

“It’s crazy! Can you imagine first of all what it would be like if women got to kill guys whenever they made a pass at one of us? I know there’d be a matriarchy in Italy, for one thing … But go ahead. Plead the ‘unwanted homosexual advance defence’. Because you’re gonna lose, and you’re gonna go to jail, where you will discover TRULY what an ‘unwanted homosexual advance’ IS.”

  • Maggie Cassella
12

…Of course, however, you know perfectly well that if we tell him we wouldn’t make a pass at him if the universe were undergoing heat death because he’s a pasty, over-gelled, hit-in-the-face-with-a-scoop-shovel, melting-candle-looking, doughy-assed, homophobic, issue-ridden twatscoop… he’d get all offended that way too.

Can’t win for losin’.

13

Twatscoop?

As a twat-owner, I’m insulted. I think.

As for Jimmy Swaggart . . . people actually still listen to him?

14

“Yeah, I’d like two scoops-One butter pecan, and one twat. And could I have sprinkles with that, please?”

15

That’s what I thought too. So basically, he’s just admitted he wants to murder somebody for no reason at all, and then lie to God about it.

That’s two Commandments broken. Am I missing any?

16

Yes, the 12th one: Thou shalt not become redundant.

Is it me, or do televangelists choose “interesting” looking women?

17

The scary part is that, in the video, his congregation actually applauded and shouted hallelujahs when he made that comment. Swaggart also said …

“I thank God that President Bush has stated we need a constitutional amendment that states a marriage is between a man and a woman!”

Now that he has endorsed President Bush, I think it’s time that the tax exempt status of his ministry be re-examined.

18

The fact that the place wasn’t immediately hit by lightning should be proof to all of the non-existence of a merciful god.

Was there one righteous person in that church? Well, maybe a cameraman.

19

:: sudden, blinding light strikes ::

I have seen the light! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

The Jimmy Swaggarts of this sorry, sinful world, the spewers of hate and screechers of foulness in God’s Name, the congregations of the faithful to a faith that denies God’s Love and Compassion, all, ALL shall be gathered together and gathered up in that Day of Judgment that they beseech God for, in their incessant, ant-whining prayers. Yea, verily, they shall all be gathered as one seething mass of True Believers in a god they have made in their own image, brought before the Throne of Judgment, spat upon by the angels and spurned by the cherubim for their profanation of the Holy Word, and flyng into the darkest Pits of Hell!

The Lord hath spoken it.

:: halogen lamps turned off ::

20

I just don’t get it. Why do guys like him get so het up about gays? Why so violent? I know it’s probably just cliched unprovable psychobabble, but every time I think about it I just can’t help wondering if maybe deep down they’re just an eensy bit lavender, no?