Jimmy Swaggart advocates killing people for looking at you the wrong way...

Oh… dear god…

[wheeze]

I used to watch The Power Team on a regular basis for reasons that had nothing to do with Jesus (although I was known to have called out the name a few times while watching). The PT leader, John Jacobs, sometimes hosted the chat show and it was by watching that I learned that sugar is evil because both “sugar” and “Satan” have five letters and start with S.

Swaggart says he made a mistake, by the way, but stopped short of actually saying he was sorry.

I always loved the basis of that ministry: the love of our lord Jesus Christ is roughly analagous to breaking bricks with my head. Praise the lord and pass the steroids (hee-haw hee-haw…)

I guess the thunderous ovation he got from his crowd was also a mistake. If there’s one thing crossburning mongoloids like it’s a nice “figure of speech”.

Perfect idea for a major ratings boost for both my favorite run-into-the-ground show and for my favorite whoremonging telefundie: QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY: Assignment Swaggart- he could not only recover somewhat from the PR blunder but finally get out of those damned ugly suits. Kyan could give his honey blonde mane a more contemporary look to appeal to skinhead youth, Jai could hook him up with some discreet “housecall” escort services so he won’t have to worry about getting pulled over by cops or ambushed by enemies with cameras, Thom could finally create a Fundie stage that wouldn’t make Liberace puke, Ted could weave Louisiana seasoning with a loaves-and-fishes or Last-Supper theme and Carson’s just the man to find out whether Jimmy really would kill a guy for making inappropriate comments or looks. I think it would be the Alpha and Omega of Must See TV.

Yes, and what’s absolutely hysterical (I could probably google up a cite but I’ll leave that up to y’all- you can trust me on this one, though) is that a few years ago Anita Bryant opened a supper club there. About the same time a gay club opened called “Hurricane Anita’s” (named after a novelty song popular in gay clubs during Anita’s late 1970s gay-away-heyday) and people used to go to it thinking they were going to Bryant’s place. Needless to say to any other homo homies here, the star attraction was a drag queen based on Anita Bryant. There were lawsuits but the gay club was totally protected under Freedom of Speech, parody and various business ordinances.
Sad & sorry epilogue: the real Anita’s place soon flopped like a spastic catfish on hot asphalt, causing her to relocate to a variety of places including Gatlinburg, Orlando and the ValHalla of 70s B-listers, Branson, MO [heh heh… Mo], majorly screwing employees and business partners everywhere she went [she made some major misassumptions about her audience, namely that she had one]. She was literally on a list that circulates in entertainment circles of "people NOT to do business with due to bad debts and just outright dishonest business practices. She turns up occasionally on religious TV, revivals and church singing engagements these days and that’s about it- she’s not just yesterday’s news, but in fact was in the nostalgia section of yesterday’s news.

My own “Fundie I’d Most Like to See Dancing in a Thong” crush is former Growing Pains cutie Kirk Cameron (now the master of the quite impressive Way of the Master website. Man, when he got born again the contractions never quit- he is hardcore fundie.

That story makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Apologies for a one-post hijack, but in case anybody is interested here is a long article on the life and pathetic modern times of Anita Bryant.

He is very sorry for his sins (requires Realplayer)

from the quote Otto provided:

“Great googly moogly! When I said I’d kill the queer for looking at me, I wasn’t encouraging violence against him! Where did you get that from? All you liberal homo media types are twisting my words!”

Geez, how can I possibly have even less respect for Swaggart than I did at the start of this thread?

Poor initial information.

I have lived in the south for most of my almost 38 years and I’ve heard and used some pretty bizarre expressions (“dummer than a hundred chickens”, “she could snag lightnin’ outta clear blue sky”, “dryer than an old maid’s hatchet wound”, etc.), but I’ve never heard “I’ll kill 'em and tell God he died”, which he seems to think is an expression so common anybody should know it. I honestly have no doubts that he was saying it to be “funny” and not that he would literally advocate murder, but generally hate crimes aren’t funny things to joke about. In public. Before a very large crowd. In a church. (Swaggart has taken rappers to issue several times over their lyrics; if Eminem sang a song about bashing in the heads of Christians and claimed “artistic license… didn’t mean it, yo”, it’d be interesting to hear how Swaggart responded, just as it’d be interesting to see how much press this would get if it was aimed at blacks or Jews rather than at gays [and no, I am in no way denying or minimizing the fact that both groups have been the targets of violence by the ignorant].)

I always liked the breaking of the Louisville Sluggers while John Jacobs off to the side yammered on about how it was like breaking Satan’s arm.

When I was going to school in Illinois I once drove to Peoria to see the PT live and in person. A life-changing experience it wasn’t.

Oh, this is gold:

Riiiiiiight. :rolleyes:

Great-- now I’ve got Fuck Anita Bryant running through my head.

Makes me feel vaguely wrong, but goddamn if it ain’t a toe-tapper.

Dunno, it just makes me uncomfortable… I don’t feel like a homophobic, homocidal guy, that wants to lie about my killin’ on TV and ask for cash so I can um… never mind.

Hmmmm. Do you suppose some of those ho’s was fee-male?

Wait a minute, I’m confused. Is that **our **Brutus? I always suspected him of being a cartoon character.

Actually, a 1996 University of Georgia study indicates that it might not be that cliched or unprovable. (Scroll down a bit on link for results.)

He got high marks for it.

Where’s that damned “Throw Tomato At Poster” button?

The whole thing resulted from his inferiority complex – he just had a hard time accepting that he wasn’t Abel. :stuck_out_tongue: