:: indignant snort ::
That guy, sir, madam, or whatever, is a guyess.
:: scornful head toss ::
In a virgin? Might even rate a second coming.
:: joins Polycarp in headlong flight ::
I particularly love Swaggart’s belief that he can fool God after one of his own more famous quotes: “Don’t try to bargain with Jesus Christ… the man’s a Jew!”
::: dons tinfoil hat :::
So we have someone who is clearly anointed with Olive Oyl and who uses of himself the great self-designation of the Tetragrammaton –
But if you dissect his name, we find it is composed of the words “pope” and “ye” – meaning that he is clearly claiming to be the Vicar of Christ to all to whom he speaks.
And for the holy symbols of bread and wine, he substitutes the substance spinach, which he claims gives him unlimited power.
Clearly this Popeye figure is the Antichrist predicted in Revelation!
::: removes tinfoil hat :::
Gee, that was fun! :dubious:
Not that I’ll ever get the chance, but if I do, I’ll look at the sumbitch all googly eyed, just to goad him into taking the first shot. Then I will “tell God he just died”. Oooohhh it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. But, usually the loud tough talking types are just bullshit and they fold when someone calls their hand and means it. Oh well, I would probably beat the hit out of him anyway just for spite. “Sorry Officers, he just fell down - a lot. I think he was having a fit.”
What Jimmy Swaggart Said and What Jimmy Swaggart Meant
I do not plan in any way to whitewash my sin.
fuckFuckFUCK! I don’t think I can talk my way out of this anymore.
I do not call it a mistake, a mendacity; I call it sin.
Whatever. Shit. How can this be happening?
I call it sin. I would much rather, if possible – and in my estimation it would not be possible – to make it worse than less than it actually is. I have no one but myself to blame.
Maybe if I ramble incoherently, people will get confused and forget the details.
I do not lay the fault or the blame of the charge at anyone else’s feet. For no one is to blame but Jimmy Swaggart.
Maybe if I don’t refer to myself in the first person, people will think I’m talking about someone else.
And most of all, to my Lord and my Savior, my Redeemer, the One whom I have served and I love and I worship. I bow at His feet, who has saved me and washed me and cleansed me. I have sinned against You, my Lord. And I would ask that Your precious blood would wash and cleanse every stain, until it is in the seas of God’s forgetfulness, never to be remembered against me anymore.
If I put the sheep’s clothing on again, can I still play?
Of course googling the keywords gay and televangelist also brings up tales of Paul Crouch. (The fullest coverage is in LA Times which requires subscription.) You may not recognize the name Paul Crouch, but if you’ve ever channel surfed you’ll most definitely recognize his wife, who I honestly think could cause homosexuality quicker than any gene even possible.
How’d that lying to God stuff ever work out for Cain anyway?
Wow…Swaggart is still around!!!
Let me tell you’ll a little story, when I was a young-one, I sometimes watched Jim and Tammi Faye Baker and Jimmy Swaggart. While Jim and Tammi Faye seemed like small-time hucksters, Jimmy Swaggart really pissed the shit out of me because he was so political. (Jim and Tammi Faye were good friends of James Watt but for the most part their show was not that political.)
So, when Jim Baker got caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar, I said to myself, “God, why couldn’t something like this have happened to Jimmy Swaggart?” And, then when it did a short time later, I thought to myself, “Holy shit…Maybe there really is a God after all!”
:eek:
Or, from the lesbian standpoint: SCARED STRAIGHT!
:eek:
You know, they’ve got an operation just down the road from where I live. 
I’ve always thought that ill-fitting pink wig makes her look like a deranged Pomeranian.
Then, of course, you have Tammie Faye, who has probably done more to redeem herself by simply living out what it really means to be a Christian since the scandals hit than any ten other celebrity Christians, Desmond Tutu excepted.
OMG, isn’t that Twitty-City? Thank God Conrad didn’t live to see this…
I would love to go to the TBN amusement park, epecially with a gay pride t-shirt on (heh, heh). I’m a huge fan of the network and tune in pretty regularly for a good laugh at the more outrageous preachers. On Saturday mornings, they have children’s programming, and I have a mad crush on the lead on a show called Gospel Bill. It’s lame and preachy and apparently produced back in the 80s, but the lead actor playing Gospel Bill is one beefy born-again hunk.
I’m sure it was only a typo, but Conway.
Actually I was referring to the writer Joseph Conrad, who historically hated religious theme parks* and originally set Heart of Darkness at Golgotha Funland, but I’m guessing you’re right: Conway Twitty would have been irked as well. 
*Though you have to admit that Hendersonville, TN and the Holy Land are so near identical geographically that a reproduction of the Via Delarosa is just a natural fit, almost as much as in Eureka Springs, Arkansas and Orlando, FL. (I understand that there’s a replica of the Ryman Auditorium and the Ernest Tubb record shop on the real Via Delarosa for the same reason.)
I suppose mentioning the two bears that assaulted the boys that sassed Elisha would be very much in bad taste! 
Yes, yes it is. The brick wall out in front still says, “Hello Darlin’.” The whole reason those crap bastards ended up with the place is because Conway’s kids kept squabbling over his estate, and the only thing that made them all happy was selling it and splitting the profits. :mad:
Ironically, Eureka Springs, Arkansas is known for being a very gay-friendly resort town and home to a large [url=“http://www.eurekapride.com/”]Pride group that host several events including Drag shows and Diversity Weekend.