Well, to me, that’s a whole different story. I wouldn’t support a lazy bum, either! There’s a world of difference, IMO, between someone who’s working at a low paying job they love, and a total slacker. One is acceptable; the other isn’t.
Interesting question. I work for a non-profit, and while it’s fulfilling, I make squat. My husband is in much the same boat. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable dating a corporate-type; it’s very important to me that my work reflects my values, and (no slight intended), I doubt that my values would mesh well with someone who was determined to claw his way up the ladder. Sure, it’d be nice to have more money, but, for me, doing good is more important than doing well.
Define “fair share”.
A marriage should be a partnership. That doesn’t always mean all chores are divided evenly down the middle, but it does mean responsibilities are apportioned in a reasonable manner. If one person is doing all the housework AND all the parenting and so on… it’s sort of irrelevant about the income because already the situation isn’t fair.
When my husband and I met he earned more than me. Now, I am the principal breadwinner. Yes, that can be stressful, but I don’t feel I’m doing more than my fair share of supporting him because, while I earn the bulk of the money, he does so many other things, like manage our budget, pay the bills, take care of the taxes, run errands during the day, keeps the car and the truck maintained, the grocery shopping… (I still do laundry and the dishes)… that I’m very comfortable with the situation. Sure, I’d like him to be earning more money… but only because that would let us do more of certain things we enjoy. For that matter, I’d like ME to earn more money!
Like others have said, everyone has requirements for a mate. In your case, ambition seems to be important. That’s OK.
Of course, how the paycheck is earned may or may not be an indication of ambition. Someone who is a scientist may never earn a lot of money (depends on the area of science) but may be quite ambitious in furthering their area of knowledge, getting published, discovering things, etc. I myself do not have a very glamourous job, and it’s not considered very “ambitious” in the corporate world, but I’m hardly boring given my hobby of flying airplanes, where I am quite ambitious when it comes to perfecting my skills and finding new challenges. In my case, the job is the means to an income that allows me to do what I really want. In other cases, of course, the job IS an indication of ambition - medical school, for instance, requires a driven personality.
So… is it ambition, in and of itself you find important? Do you find a certain income important? (And if you do - that’s OK, as long as you’re up front about it). If, for instance, you ran into someone who was a plumber, but a plumber that ran his own business, would that strike you as appealing? What if his main ambition wasn’t his job at Home Depot but bike racing? What if the bike racer was named “Lance Armstrong”? (I suspect his wife did a lot of the supporting while he was in training prior to his current fame). Do you find certain professions unappealing? Why?