Wow, what an entertaining episode.
I loved the line “I’d love to go to a third world country… and bathe their children.”
That got an immediate WTF outta me, but then she tops it with “That’s just me, I’m a mercenary kind of person”
Then Evan says “I was confused by her answer”!
That was the line that got me too. And how helpless did she look in the kitchen. She seemed more concerned about how she looked posing with a wine glass. She seems to me like the most blatant golddigger, even more so than Heidi.
It was really, really stupid for that other girl to show him a check for a million dollars, though.
This was the best hour of television EVER!
So much to say…so much to say…
–Mmm ahhh slurp smack gulp. Gulp? :eek: Dear Fox editors: I think I love you.
–The Disney montage. Dear Fos editors: I do love you!
–Does Sarah have no nipples? Where were her nipples? Methinks there is something very wrong with her jugs.
–Melissa M might well be the biggest and most useless bitch in television history. And how could you get to the age of 24 without knowing what garlic looks like?
–I was feeling so very sorry for Mojo by the end of this episode. She is just so lame. I choo-choo-choose you? The badly rhyming poetry? “Maybe I didn’t talk enough?” But she’s not too bitchy, I’ll give her that. I can’t believe the Heathers said “why don’t you try on all your clothes for us?” She left with a note of grace.
–Come to think of it, what were Melissa and Sarah doing in bed together? Maybe they’ll make a love connection. That would be a nice twist ending!
–I’m still laughing at Melissa the Mercenary. “I want to give shots to the children.” No, dear, if you’re a mercenary, you want to shoot the children. Get it straight.
–I can’t believe the bitches stormed the hot tub. I would have pulled a Zora, too.
–The music in this episode was great! The cheesy porno music during the slurp smack scene. The toreador music as the chicks were invading the hot tub. There’s more, I’m sure.
–I predicted that either Mojo or Zora would be voted off tonight. I’m s-m-r-t! I predict that either Melissa or Zora will go next. Sarah makes it to the final 2, but I don’t know that she’ll win/lose it all.
I could go on for hours…
Green Bean said:
Yeah, after all, you only had a 50% chance of being right. 
And I like your prediction for next week, when you only have a 2/3 chance of being right. 
And what’s with those cheesy-ass Fortunoff necklaces???
Aw, David! You’re being so mean to me. 
And I was going to make you a puzzle with my picture on it and everything.
Yea, great episode. Great editing. The disney scene was hilarious. That guy is such an oaf - the only thing he has going for him is $50,000,000 that he doesn’t have. The girls that get passed up are gonna have a good fricking laugh because none of them really like him anyway.
Yes! I felt that Mojo’s poem was heartfelt…well, as heartfelt as a poem could be that you prepared in advance of actually meeting its subject 
I think she meant well, anyway. But when I saw “I choose you” on that picture all I could think of was lil’ Ralph Wiggum.
Anyway, the butler takes the cake (as he has all along), for that bit at the end about the picture…“I think I’m the real winner here.” Great.
How about, “I don’t mind that he drinks beer and goes to hooters-- I can change that.”
Green Bean said:
See, if you really cared, you would have made up the puzzle ahead of time just in case you decided that you like me.
I choo-choo-choose you!
Does anyone else think maybe the producers pressured Evan to keep Melissa? I mean, it just seems totally illogical that he would pick the girl whom he seemingly had the worst date with, and the most high-maintenance (after he said he wanted someone…not), the one most likely to dump him after learning the truth.
A really funny episode! I liked the “bathe their children” line, and the nature scenes with the Disneyesque music during the horses/gazebo/picnic date. The subtitles on the first date were hilarious but…gross…cmon.
And I’m seriously disliking Evan…I mean, he just seems really shallow, and he is a HORRIBLE liar. You can see the gears working in his brain and the deer-in-the-headlights (or averted-gaze) looks he gets when he’s uncomfortable. You’d think Fox would have made sure the guy could at least lie plausibly before casting him.
Oh and I think maybe one of the girls is onto him. I’m not sure who but I think someone knows, maybe Mojo figured it out.
There are two big reasons that he chose Mercelissa.
Besides those
Melissa the Mercenary found a bag of garlic in the kitchen, showed it to Evan, who then sniffed it and declared it to be onions (note to Evan: garlic bulbs come in sections, onions do not). Neither is the brightest creature on this planet, but at least Evan prepared virtually the whole dinner, while mostly Melissa stood around saying, “I don’t cook.”
You know what would make the next episode really, really fun?
Bring back Heidi, having not told her that Evan was poor, and arm her with a medieval battle axe that had just been sharpened. Then wait to see whose neck she swings the axe at first! (I’m sure she wouldn’t need much provocation.)
Oh, my.
Did the kids forget they were wearing body mikes? Oh…ew.
Poor Zora, putting herself to bed. I think she is driving Evan insane with guilt.
And how could he go with Melissa over Mojo?? I really got to like her in the last two episodes - you go, girl!
Agree with everyone about the brilliant, hilarious editing - the Disney date with all the little woodland animals looking on; don’t forget “Scandal!” and the conflict of what Evan was saying about the girls not being golddiggers - cut to the girls admiring their ruby necklaces.
We’ve crossed a line here, with actual sexual intimacy between Evan and at least one of the women, not counting the hot tub date. Suddenly I like Evan a lot less.
Hilarious episode! I’m in love with Zora! I want a Disney date with her!
I really thought Melissa M. would go tonight after their lousy date.
I don’t think he takes Sarah seriously, but he’s having too much fun with her to get rid of her yet.
My prediction is that Evan can see that Zora is the nice one and the one that he could probaby have the best chance at an actual relationship with. She may be the dark horse, but she’s my pick to “win.”
Gotta agree with the others…it’s the jugs. Evan is an empty meat-shell. I have to admit the guy is good looking; I wanted to jump in the hot-tub with him, and I’m not even gay. But the guy doesn’t have 2 functioning neurons to rub together.
Nah, I think they found the biggest airhead they could get their hands on, just to make the women seem even more shallow for liking him.
—SPOILERS TO FOLLOW—
At least he had enough sense to dump Mojo. My god, that woman was lame. Melissa is lame too, but I’m not sure if Shallow Hal will have enough sense to dump her. Sarah’s awfully cute, but I’m rooting for Zora. I like how they are playing up the whole thing about her not trusting him - very sinister. I hope she doesn’t end up getting hurt at the end of the series.
Anyone willing to post (or provide a link to) a more detailed play-by-play, for those of us who got to see the first couple episodes but are out of the country for the rest of it? I’m dying to hear the context of the “mercenary” and hot tub incidents! And who was he getting sexually intimate with, as someone mentioned above??