This is my new classroom motto! 
What’s the difference between a first-class passenger and a jet engine?
When the plane arrives at the gate, the jet engine stops whining.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw your malpractice premium?
A: One.
…hey wait a minute, that’s not so funny. 
Did you hear about the public school teacher who won the 375 million dollar lottery? She just kept teaching until it was all gone.
Well it isn’t a joke per say but I work in a nursing home where we aides like to suggest pillow and duck tape therapy, for the really really crazy ones…