Jokes you can enjoy with your ten year-old

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

Where can you get toaster waffles on the beach?
San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)

A man opens his 'fridge and sees a wabbit inside.
“What are you doing in my 'fridge, you silly wabbit?” asks the man.
“This is as Westinghouse, isn’t it?” say’s the wabbit.
“Yea, so” replies the man.
“Well, I’m westing” answers the wabbit.

Hey, you said for a 10 yr. old. :smiley:
Peace,
mangeorge

Teach your kids to bungee jump.
One them might have to cross a bridge someday.

42

This termite walks in to a bar and asks, “Hey, is this bartender?”

Cristi, Slayer of Peeps

I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.

(title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!)

43

Someone once got a list of jokes like these from the inside of a kids cereal box. They were so annoyingly insipid, he posted them to rec.humor. Among the jokes were such, ahem, “classics” as these:

What’s yellow and always points north?
A magnetic banana.

What’s big and gray and puts out forest fires?
Smokey the Elephant.

What looks like a horse and flies?
A flying horse.
(Anyone here get this one?)

44

Hahahahahah! Oh my God, I seriously can’t stop laughing over that. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life! I love you, Ziggy, and now not just because you’re a Bowie fan.

Okay, here’s my lame joke–
What did the cow say to the farmer?
Moooo!

“I need the biggest seed bell you have. . . no, that’s too big.”–Hans Moleman

45

Why did the oyster refuse to give up his pearl?

He was shellfish.

46

A polar bear walks into a diner and sits down at the counter.

“What’ll ya have?” says the waitress.

The polar bear is quiet for a full five minutes before replying, “I’d like a cheeseburger.”

“Sure,” says the waitress, “but why the big pause?”

“I don’t know,” says the polar bear, “they’ve always been this way.”

Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa…

47

I’ve been giggling myself silly for the last 5 minutes over that igloo joke. Ah.

Here’s a classic poem from the strip “Garfield” :

I have a buddy,
my buddy’s a toad.
He’s kind of muddy,
he’s flat on the road.
But he’s my buddy . . .
my buddy to stay,
until he peels up
and blows away.

48

What does a Triceratops sit on?
It’s Tricera-bottom! :stuck_out_tongue:

49

My father says I told him this joke when I was 4(I don’t remember saying it).

Why do people drink out of cups?
Because Pampers are too dry.

Even as a toddler my logic was impeccable.

50

Three small pieces of rope decide they want to go to the movie.

The first piece of rope walks up to the box office and says, “Ticket, please.”

The guy says, “Sorry, we don’t allow rope in here.”

The second piece of rope says, “Let me try,” and goes up to the box office and asks for a ticket.

Same reply.

The third rope thinks it over, then starts contorting himself and picking at his ends furiously. He walks up to the box office and asks for a ticket.

The guy says, “Hey, weren’t you with those other pieces of rope?”

And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”

“We are here for this – to make mistakes and to correct ourselves, to withstand the blows and to hand them out.” Primo Levi

51

the other day under the ‘in memoriam’ section, there was a picture of a three year old boy, and this:

knock knock
whose there?
centipede
centipede who?
centipede on the christmas tree and now the lights don’t work.

i know it’s more for smaller kids, but it was sweet and just wanted to share it.

“Organs gross me out. That’s organs, not orgasms.”
-the wallster

52

Also:
1: Knock Knock
2: Who’s there?
3: Cowsgo
4: Cowsgo who?
5: No, cows go moo.