It was just sitting on the railing. There aren’t any loose dogs here to grab it. I considered briefly that it might get stolen when I put it up, but dismissed it because what sort of asshole steals a shirt off someone’s patio anyway? It was worth the risk anyway if it helped get my cat back.
Stealing a shirt from a neighbor seems like a bad idea - in a few weeks if I see some dude walking past my house wearing the shit, depending on my mood it may be a bad day for him.
It’s raining again.
The rabbit we’re babysitting stays another two days.
The nephew is showing up tomorrow because of an emergency with his regular day care.
The little Woodhouses are already bored with summer.
I gained two pounds this week.
You know who you are.
You also know that you’re old enough to climb off of your boyfriend for 5 minutes, it’s obnoxious.
A twofer today.
I don’t know you and, in fact, have never even heard of you. Do not send me a friend request just because we have a friend in common on facebook. I’m barely acquainted with said friend through work and I don’t collect friends like trophies. Go away.
To the two cows at the movie. SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY so the rest of us can enjoy the movie.
I pit idiot Ass incompetent bank-line-mover-uppers.
It’s not that hard of a skill, if you can’t master it you shouldn’t be allowed to have money in the first place.
I move into position in line(F) behind a chick(E0 who appeared to posses a brain. and two people move(G, H) follow in behind me.
<------------
|----------------------------------------------|
|
A B C D | ^
| |
|------------------------------------ | |
| |
H G F E |
|
|----------------------------------------------|
--------->
Person A and B and called to the tellers simultaneously, and the line starts to move up as normal. I step forward assuming to pass through the original position of E and into position vacated by D.
|----------------------------------------------|
|
C' D' |
|
|------------------------------------ E' |
|
H' G' F' |
|
|----------------------------------------------|
suddenly E stops, a good 8 feet short of her expected relocation. My momentum Is in the lateral direction ,as I am about to to about face northward. Blocked by her pointless stopping, my foot is forced to land father east than I ever should have gone. G and H are cut short behind me.
|----------------------------------------------|
|
C' D' |
|
|------------------------------------ |
E'' |
H'' G'' F'' |
|
|----------------------------------------------|
Now completely inexplicably She backs up, to a position south and west of her original place, I quite smoothly matrix around her avoiding all contact with her ass, but am forced into the very corner.She bumps into G who was unable to back up because of H. After contacting G, she glares at him, and quickly backs up directly assward into me. With no way to go without a sudden flat-footed 6 foot jump over the wooden maze wall, I am helpless and clear my throat. Her purse is shoved into my crotch as she doesn’t slow down. She yells ‘Hey!’ and grabs her purse back suspiciously. Everyone turns to look, she glares at me without actually moving away. By now C has now gone to a teller, and the idiot is 16 feet away from where she should be.
|----------------------------------------------|
|
D''' |
|
|------------------------------------ |
|
H''' G''' E''' |
F'''|
|----------------------------------------------|
Arghh, I just hate people who are so damn dumb they don’t understand normal line operation like the rest of the bipedal world. And have to screw it up, and then blame others for their screw up.
Dear Neighbors; within your very eyesight, indeed, on the very block upon which you reside there is, quite easily 1.5 Billion dollars in high value real estate. The very fucking LEAST you can do is pick up after your fucking pug/poodle/french bulldog when he or she shits on the grass/street/sidewalk. That way, when you drive your Bentley/BMW/Lamborghini/Prius past the area, (or when I walk or ride my bike past the area) none of us have to smell DOG SHIT!
If I catch you leaving behind recoverable crap (i.e. not liquid) I will pick it up and mail it to you.
Or drop it on your heads from above.
That is all.
I pit thee: FINGER!!! You make it difficult to do almost ANYTHING anymore! You decided that the day after i get a new guitar you’d somehow make it past the finger-gaurd on the chainsaw and get split in half. YOU SUCK FINGER!!!
Cousin C: I visit you only because you refuse to visit me [details below*], and because your brother from out-of-state isn’t over here that often and we like to see him. Yes, I realize that it’s just the fam and you don’t have to dress up or really clean up, but…bitch, please. Must you wear the rattiest, stainiest, hole-iest garb you have when we all know you could wear something slightly more decent?
And must you always have so much affluenza-related crap around? I open the pantry door and there’s junk all over the floor. I open the fridge door and things fall out. You go to look for a pool toy and have to dig through a thousand others to find the one you want. When your parents were alive, they kept a beautiful home. Now you’ve trashed it because you and your hubby and kids are too freaking lazy to pick up a single damn thing off the fucking floor. I always feel dirty after visiting.
*You won’t ever come 20 miles to visit me, but you will travel to other states for vacations or other visits. You have made it clear in the past that you think I’m poor, that I’m living in a bad neighborhood, that we have drive-by shootings and gang-bangers. We don’t, but you’ve got it in your mind that having neighbors from other countries is automatically a bad thing. The fact that I have no pool or 3-car garage or two-story house apparently makes me a low-class hick in your eyes.
You even had the nerve to ask if I have air conditioning. You used to go to my place years ago, when your folks were still around, and you know fucking well I have a/c! The next time you ask such a dumbass question, I’ll be sure to tell you that I have no running water or indoor plumbing and I’ve got an old goat tied up in my back yard next to the pile of spare tires.
I don’t actually care anymore if you never come by. You’ll just complain about the neighbors being non-white and worry about parking your car on my street. So stay the hell home in your pigsty.
Digital TV. Yes, I know, you have your own threads, but this is specifically for your version of KTTV (Fox 11) in Los Angeles. How is it that you came in beautifully up until last week, along with your grainy analogue sister, but now that she is dead you are intermittent, weak, or nonexistent?
PS: awesome diagrams, wolfman. And since I’m commenting on previous threads, I wince in sympathy over the finger accident. Yikes!
On the other hand…will you please stop stuffing as much as possible into my first canvas bag, and then leaving the other three empty? I need to balance the load.here.
I don’t always drive to the grocery store. Sometimes there is a bus ride involved. Sometimes I walk. And even if I do bring the car, I don’t get to park three inches away from my kitchen door.
Always remember: a bag may have to be carried for quite some distance.
I need to pit two things:
UPS for taking so frigging fragging long to deliver a package. Jesus H Christ, the US Postal service delivers stuff faster than you do. Mini pit to Overstock.com for using fucking UPS.
My nose, for being a magnet for frigging zits. Why? Every friggimg time I get a zit it’s on my frigging nose. The fucking thing looks like a bee’s nest(hornet?).
A big fuck you to my partners in the UK. I woke up early - there’s a five hour difference in your time and mine - to attend a conference call that you guys called. The very least you could do is have things set up so that we can have the call. This is just fucking rude and is becoming a part of an overall pattern with you guys. There is no excuse for this.
And a second fuck you to GoDaddy for the automatic renewals. I know checked manual renewal when I signed up, having been burnt by you fuckers before. Since you can’t be trusted, the easiest way to deal with you is to cancel all my accounts with you. Assholes.
When I was a teen I used to bag groceries at a Meijers. Usually there’s a specific way they’re trained to bag. Where I worked it was nonfoods separate from foods, and cold stuff in it’s own bag. I had one guy get really pissed because I didn’t put his cleaning products in the same bag as his bread.
Next time just tell the bagger how you want it.
Yeah…what the hell? Same thing with KCAL (9). And this was on a tV that already had the digital doohickey built in, and I rescanned, and all that.
UPS rant number two: This is This is 8 days now without my package. I think I am more pissed at Overstock.com. I will not order from them anymore if they continue to deal with fucking UPS.
It’s worse than that–they aren’t fist-bumping sign-flashing shut-yo-mouth hugs. They’re sensitive metro-street-cafe sweater-corduroy-Teva hugs.
Dear Amazon.com,
The CD I ordered for my husband’s birthday was in stock when I ordered it. Now you say it is not in stock. And his birthday is next week. You lied to me. Fuck you.
By popular demand, the May mini-rant against BoFA (Bank of Fucking America) is held over for another month.
We tried to close the account on Apr 10th, but somehow the account remained in “pending closure” state until at least June 10th, during which time BoA took out at least two month’s worth of service charges because we had less than $10K in the account.
Went into our local BoA branch and had a very helpful associate figure out what was going on, restart the account closure and promise me action around now.
Well, I just got an email notification that my account is now overdrawn – it has (allegedly) a balance of $0 and I am trying to withdraw an amount which by coincidence is the same as the previous balance of the account. :dubious:
Phone the “Help Desk” and get told that I can’t close the account until I make good on the overdraft? And if I don’t do it in 5 business days, I’ll get whacked with a fee which I will also have to pay.
I believe I may stop my my local BoA branch on the way home and have a temper tantrum.
Anyone know of a good Seattle-area bank? I’m considering closing my local account too at this point.
We’re having the problem with KCAL, too. As long as it’s not just me, perhaps it will get fixed. Or perhaps they’re just in collusion with the cable companies.
Damn man! So you mean, these man-hugs are all gentle and stuff?
The free hand isn’t slapping and bruising the back of the other person and vice versa?
All I can say is “that sucks”. I guess you can attempt to show them how real thugs man-hug each other, but the general attire might get you stopped at the door for looking “suspicious”. 