Thank you for gathering here today at great personal risk. Chances are we do not have long before our moderators descend upon our location, so I’ll be brief.
As you know, the fragile fabric of our web-based society is under constant attack. Our moderators: loyal, diligent hardworking, are nonetheless overwhelmed by the crush of their responsibilities, as well as their stupidity, incompetence and corruption.
This is the greatest board in existence, a bastion of intelligence, and ignorance fighting the likes of which are unparrelled in cyberspace. It’s like a family to us. We could take it our leave it. Doesn’t matter to us. It’s all gone to shit anyway.
Under such circumstances it becomes incumbent upon diligent participants to dissociate themselves from the ties which restrain proper action in the face of bureaucratic ineptitude, and suffer their resolve upon the greater populace to take matters into their own hands for the benefit of the greater good.
To this end I propose we pool our resources as, only united can we stem the tsunami of incompetence that rushes towards us across the beach of inequity. Should we fail, we will find that when the waters of rhetoric recede into the ocean of despair, the streets of knowledge will remain clogged with the dead deep sea critters of improperly closed threads and retracted official warnings.
Scylla: Yeah. Something classic, like, like WannabeMod. Oh, he had a great look! Oh, the cape and the jackboots…
Me: [throws a wadded ball of paper at Scylla’s head] No capes!
Scylla: Isn’t that my decision?
Me: Do you remember T’head33? Tall, great debating powers? Nice poster, good with noobs.
Scylla: Listen, What…
Me: November 15th of '05! All was well, another day saved, when… his cape snagged on a Mods Warning!
Scylla: T’head33 was not the brightest bulb…
Me: StratoGale! April 23rd, '07! Cape caught in a board crash!
Scylla: What, you can’t generalize about these things…
Me: Modman, express ban! AdminGuy, suspended on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a flamewar!
[Junior Mod hat on]
“John Smith” is a sock puppet. Not only have I verified his IP through my special IP verification tool and found a match, but I’ve double checked “John Smith” against his actual username and found him to be none other than Czarcasm. As has been clearly posted in the rules members may only have one name on the board.
Of course, under the current environment of corruption, I don’t expect any of the other Moderators to call him on this clear violation, thus revealing the ongoing double standard which has become so prevalent, turning this place into a joke.
As such I exercise my non-explicitly enumerated yet nevertheless strongly implied and sacrosanct right, nay responsibility to call you out on this hypocrisy. I’d also like to point out that this is the forum explicitly wherein criticism of the board and staff is allowed, nay required, so if you don’t like it, stick it up your butt!
[Junior Mod hat off]
My name is…um…Jonny Jones…Yeah, Jonny Jones, and I’m new to the SDMB. I agree with Scylla totally.
Y’know, I bet this meeting would make a great documentary! Mind if I sit in the back with my movie camera?
