Just answer the question please!

I have noticed that both in social media and face to face conversations that the great majority of people will assume a problem exhists that they address while actualy ignoring a very specific question. In most cases they couldn’t answer the question anyway.

I recently did a little test that is still going on facebook. I posed a question about cooking. I stated I was only interested in how time and temperature should be adjusted by looking at the results of your baked goods. Not looking for solutions to any particular problem, just asking what a person would base their decision on to choose between making a temp adjustment or a time adjustment or both. 

Not one single answer addressed the question.

It is no wonder so many people choose to be anti social.

Reminds me of my neighbor. I couldn’t get my chainsaw working right and asked him to take a look at it. I had already gotten some chainsaw oil. He said I needed to add oil to my gasoline. I said “Can I add this chainsaw oil?” “No, that goes in your oil reservoir,” then started going on at length about how the oil distributes to all the parts, etc. “So what kind of oil do I add?” “Chainsaw oil” “To the gasoline?” “No, it goes in your oil reservoir”, then repeated everything he said previously.

It was about to turn into a “Who’s On First” type of discussion before I finally said (well, yelled) “STOP! QUIT TALKING ABOUT THE CHAINSAW OIL! WHAT KIND OF OIL GOES INTO THE GASOLINE?” “Two engine oil,” he replied, “but you gotta get that orange kind.” “What do you mean by orange kind? What’s the difference?” He proceeded to tell me without answering my question. I should know by now not to challenge his recommendations, even if he is vague on what they are.

Communication is tricky, no two ways (heh) about it. People fuck up when responding to things besides questions, too: statements of fact, statements of opinion, requests … Hell, people just generally fuck up a whole lot, even when they’re all by themselves.

(I didn’t experience any examples of the “answer the damn question!” phenomenon you describe today, but I’m well familiar with it. My big communication fuckup today was when my boss kept talking my ear off about trivialities during my lunch break, even though my body language clearly communicated that I had places to go and a sandwich to eat. Was putting on my sunglasses and grabbing my bag not clear enough, dude?)

I realize the following statement of opinion may not come off as kind or constructive, because communication is tricky, but I do mean it to be kind and constructive: maybe your frustration level would go down somewhat if you cast a critical eye on your own communication skills, too?

Looking at our shared human experience as a voyage on a ship of fools - AND RECOGNIZING THAT YOU’RE A FOOL, TOO - can be a kind of relief, if not anywhere close to a perfect solution. At least it’ll keep you from spending 24/7 in your stateroom.:slight_smile:

It works both ways, you know. I asked you if you knew how to tell when the dough was done and I don’t think you answered that. It makes it hard to tell you when to take it out.

I did tell you what temp to start with and what duration. You were also advised not to use the method you were attempting (1-2 rolls at a time) for a variety of reasons, including the fact that the time wouldn’t translate to a full batch. I also PM’ed one of the other regular posters on the board, who is a professional baker.

Sometimes the fact that you didn’t get the answer you wanted doesn’t mean you didn’t get an answer.

I wasn’t referring to this site, I was referring to facebook. I always have much better luck here. I did appreciate the answers I got here. ( You just did it again, not following my question LOL!)

I know how to tell when the dough is done only by breaking the roll and possibly tasting it. If I push on it I like it to spring back but not too quickly.

That’s not a very specific question.

If it’s burned on top, turn down the temperature. If it is dried out, take it out sooner. If it’s not dark enough, turn up the temperature. If it is still raw in the middle, leave it in longer.

To be more specific, I would need to know what you are baking, how familiar you are with your oven, how are you testing for doneness, things like that.

Regards,
Shodan

You answered perfectly, I didn’t include more info in the question for a reason. Now If I came back and told you what I was baking ( 3"X6" coconut topped cinnamon rolls about2.5" high) you might offer additional info.

My feeling is there are two different levels of discussion and people are often operating on different understandings on which “level” is expected.

One level is more serious and specific. They are after information and they’re not playing around. If you don’t have an advanced degree in the subject or at the very least, a wikipedia reference, let the Smart People talk.

The other level is social, conversational. People assume it’s a “friendly” chat and meandering from the topic a bit or adding personal anecdotes, tangential topics and all that is not only okay but welcomed.

Level one looks at level two in wonder that they dared to open their snout or pound the keyboard with their cloven hooves.

Level two looks at level one in equal annoyance, when they think they’ve answered something just a bit more demanding than “Good morning,” and are pelted with angry demands to provide sources, sources, dammit! Or given copious links and ordered to complete the question-askers assignments then come back and take the exam before being allowed into the discussion.

D’oh! I guess I include the Dope with social media, but on re-read you’re right, you said Facebook.

I added more info to the other thread, btw. Hope you get your cinnamon rolls.

I’ve made a conscious effort to answer the question asked. If I think additional information might be helpful, I’ll say it after answering the question.

getting called on not answering the question helps. The most recent time I was going on a motorcycle ride with someone. Before we set out, this was our exchange:

Him: “How much gas do you got?”
Me: “Eh, I need to stop and get some.”
Him: “That’s not the fuckin’ question I asked you!”

we still needle each other about stuff like that every now and then.

Right. A question like the OP’s is vague enough that anecdotes may add to his knowledge. And maybe when chatting on FB, it’s easier to tell a specific story than extrapolate various stories into general principles about what to look for. Or, I don’t want to seem like an expert so I tell specific info I am sure about.

May I offer an anecdote about specific questions?

Some people want the answer to exactly the question they asked, and will get offended if answered otherwise.

Other people want the answer to the question they meant to ask, and will get offended if answered literally (you know what I meant).

It can be hard to tell the difference between these two types of people, especially over the internet. And especially when the question sounds like something they’ve heard before from people who don’t want literal answers.

Another factor is that people often want to be helpful. So if they don’t know the answer to the question that you asked, they’ll answer the question they wish you had asked instead, the question they feel more qualified to answer.

“Hello, have you changed your pop server address or the port I need to use to fetch my email?”

“If you’re trying to set up Outlook, we have a step by step guide at http://notwhatIasked.com

“That’s nice. Have you folks made a change to either your pop server address or to the port?”

I think it is on the asker to be gracious, because asking a question is, in a small way, asking for a favor, I think. When people take their time to try to assist you at your request, well. I agree that it can be annoying, though.

Wanting to contribute something comes very naturally to us. I have been guilty of contributing where I had no business more times than I can count.

This bugs the hell out of me, too. Fairly recently, though, I was called out on not answering a direct question. I started paying attention and learned I am often guilty of it too.
mmm

I notice you haven’t asked a question in this thread, either.

I have a co-worker who is particularly bad about this. I’ll ask them a question that only has yes or no as a valid answer, such as “Have you checked that the machine is on?”. The response invariably begins as narrative about the situation. Most of this narrative I already know because I already read the ticket addressing the issue before I began asking questions about the problem, and if I let them go on, they are likely to end up on entirely different subject. I have had to stop them several times to tell them that I do not need any background information, and if they think it’s important they can add it after they have said “yes” or “no”.

That they seem to think they work in a sci-fi movie instead of a datacenter makes this problem even more irritating. Before I can help them with anything, I’ve got to establish what is and is not really occurring here on earth.

My MIL is like this, so much so that my husband’s conversations with her are curt so she has no opportunity to start a narrative. She then gets upset, which in turn gets my husband upset, and I end up having to placate both of them. No wonder why we don’t see her very often.