I mean answering the direct question they were asked.
Example 1:
Me: What time did you wake up this morning?
Person: Well, I didn’t get to bed until late, and then I couldn’t sleep. The stupid alarm didn’t go off and…
Example 2:
Me: Are you going to the Rotary Club meeting tonight?
Person: My car has been acting crazy on and off and…
These are yes and no questions, but many people want to turn them into prose. Is there a reason?
Because they perceive the question as the prelude to an unwanted suggestion (“If you got up earlier, you might have been on time for work” or request (“No? You really should go - I’m counting on you to help set up the chairs, and clean up afterwards”).
Why do you want to know?
Annoying habits? Let me tell you about annoying habits…
For some people, it’s a form of evasiveness. Even if you don’t intend your yes/no question as a judgment or criticism, they might infer it.
It could also be as simple as over-sharing.
I thought you meant the kind who doesn’t answer like this.
A: Want to go to dinner tonight?
B: Sure, where you want to go?
A: Don’t know, I’ll let you know.
B: Ok, what time?
A:
A:
A:
B:?
A:
A:
A:
Then A never gets back to you, OR A sends you a text wanting to meet you in 15 minutes at a restaurant that is an half hour away, and is mad that you’re aren’t ready to go because they told you they wanted to meet up for dinner.
I don’t know if there is an official name for them, I just call them assholes.
I have a friend who is allergic to yes/no/direct questions. I think she does it just so you pay attention to her longer.
There is a name for the annoying habit that people have or not answering questions: Privacy.
In a world where “Mind Your Own Business” is old fashioned and "Fuck Off’ is passé, I’ll often change the subject or ask why people want to know when they start pestering me with prying questions that disrespect my privacy.
I realize that this isn’t the OP’s situation, but its still close enough to warrant saying.
When people don’t answer direct questions it means they don’t want to tell you something and you need to stop asking about that topic. They could just say some nasty words at you but they are trying to be polite by evading the topic.
These are not exactly yes or no question. Or, well, they are, but I would suspect that you are asking them for a reason, with some follow-up planned. I would be evasive, too. I wouldn’t start babbling prose, but I would want some more context before committing to the conversation. My answer for both would be: “Why do you want to know?”
If you are *not *asking them with some follow-up planned, then I would like to know why you’re asking me random-ass questions, out of the blue, for no reason.
Ok, I understand what some of your are saying about personal questions and changing the topic, but really, I’d rather you just respond with yes/no/I don’t know/not your business/why are you asking? instead of rambling on and on about who knows what. IF you don’t want to answer the question, just say so. Rambling and evading is more rude that just telling me to fuck off.
See shaggy dog.
I started off with what you’re describing as a non-sequitur, but it’s probably derailment.
I think there are a few reasons (and thus a few terms) for this behaviour. No doubt sometimes its due to privacy concerns, or concern about follow up questions, but I think a lot of people it’s just habit, or culture.
Someone close to me comes from a culture where direct questions are rude and answers are expected to be rambling, and this person finds it almost impossible to ask or answer simply. So for example they would want to know how tall a cupboard is and they will describe to the salesperson the room and what they are trying to achieve and what it has to go next to and so on and eventually when they wind down and the salesperson is looking confused I have to butt in and say “How tall is the cupboard?”
And if you ask them a question like “what time is X happening?” even in a situation where they want you to know so you can be there for that time they will answer by saying all the things that are happening before and after and where it is and who’s coming and what food is being served and so on. And when they wind down I have to say, “yes but what time?” and they will say it’s not till late and certainly after they’ve done this or that and then I have to say “What. Time. Is. It. Happening?” and they sense I’m getting irritated and try desperately to think how they can fuzz their answer before grudgingly admitting it’s happening at 8 o’clock, as if it’s totally unreasonable for me to put them on the spot by making them be so blunt.
There’s a lot of people like this IME. It’s habit or culture or (with some people I think) a certain inbuilt defensiveness or anal retentiveness about not giving anything away.
I think there’s also another phenomena. Sometimes people don’t answer questions because their brain is unable to access the information. Like spatial neglect (subsequent to stroke), the information is there, but the part of there mind that handles communication can’t connect to it. Talking around the subject is a way we deal with this, just like thinking around a subject is a way we try to remember words or ideas.
A related phenomena is the way we sometimes communicate with ourself by talking out load, and listening to what we are saying.
A slightly different observation is that sometimes people just never stored the information in that form in the first place. So: what time is the party? “It takes me at least an hour to get ready and drive there, so I’m going to have leave here at 8”
Huh. I just now noticed:
Actually, that one is indeed not a yes/no question.
Nm
People don’t simply answer questions because that’s not a conversation. Can you imagine a world where conversation was like this:
“Hey Martha, did you catch the Olympics last night?”
“Yes.”
“…Uh, cool. What project are you working on?”
“The sales report.”
“…OK. How are the husband and kids?”
“Fine.”
“…Uh, good. Are you enjoying the summer weather?”
“No.”
Simply answering questions makes for awkward, uncomfortable conversation that leaves the impression that you don’t want to be there. The social expectation is that unless it’s a direct question related to the task at hand, questions in conversations are thrown out their to provide and excuse to talk, not as a information gathering exercise.
I think it may be that these people like to hear themselves talk, and will take any excuse to start blabbing.
A lot of times, I would be “Martha.” I’m not obligated to have a conversation just because you want to.