Is this scenario really that rare? Dog gets loose and runs into the street and kid, without thinking, runs after it like he’s chasing a ball. I thought one of the first rules of third-world driving was “if you see a chicken in the road, hit the brakes, because a child is going to dart out right after it.”
“A boy loves his dog.”
What if the choice is between a dog and a PETA nutjob?
But then, what if it’s Hitler’s dog?
If you hit the PETA nutjob, there’s a chance s/he will live to breed more of her ilk. So, what you do is you run down the dog. The shock of seeing this horrible animal abuse will render the PETA nut permanently catatonic and possibly cause their head to explode.
[minor serious hijack]Hitler, in fact, tested a cyanide capsule on his dog shortly before he killed himself. It worked. [/minor serious hijack]
Yeah, and you gotta destroy the brain or they come back.
Isn’t there some kind of Dogwin’s Law that applies here?
::crickets::
Man, ruff crowd.
That seems like the sort of thing only Hitler would know…
::eyes Frank suspiciously::
Hitler’s dog’s name was Blondi. Just thought I toss that out there.
Yeah? Well, only Hitler would know the dog’s name was Blondi!
Oh, shit.
DAMN YOU, SILENUS!!!
Ruin my fucking joke, you farking bastich.
My work here is done. 
Denial is the first indicator that you might be Hitler.
So, you’re admitting you’d consciously make that decision on porpoise. :dubious:
Man, if I was a cop I’d give you a cetacean for that remark!
Couldn’t we just solve this problem by feeding the child AND the dog to the tigers?
What? And leave the grizzlies unfed? What kind of ecoillogicality is that?
You realize, of course, that the proper philosophical use of “Ecoillogicality” is only in refererence to tigers, and that by attempting to expand it to bears, you are misusing the word. Don’t you?
Yeah, I read that too. I can’t help but feel bad for the poor dog-she didn’t exactly choose her owner.
And I knew her name was Blondi.
Very few people knew about his English bulldog, Winston.