Don’t mind me, I’m just looking around.
Welcome, Ghost.
Greetings, Ghost. Pull up a lawn chair and hang about for a while.
Howdy, Ghost! Welcome aboard!! Glad to have you here. Stay awhile, we promise to grow on you.
<well, not literaly, of course> 
You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino
That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>
Hi ghost. Welcome.
I never thought to introduce myself when I first appeared.
::sigh::
Is it too late to do so?
That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch.
Feel free to post ghost.
Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
famous C&W song
Yours truly,
aha
Thanks for the welcome. Is there a condensed version of this place that I could read? I would like to get the general gist of the place, instead of reading a thousand posts.
Hell, sometimes there’s a thousand posts in one thread! Sorry, there ain’t no easy way. 
I would suggest reading the FAQ up there at the top right of the page, though.
Well, instead of READING the posts, you could sit on them.
Can we get you anything? Some buttered toast?
It’s a Ghost Post, from coast to coast.
If Ghost were to post the most,
Wouldn’t it be ironic.
That is, to have the most posts from a Ghost.
Ghost is a cool name, under which to post.
Almost as cool as Chrome that makes toast.
Wouldn’t be ironic.
That is, if Ghost was the most frequent poster,
And hooked up with Chrome Toaster.
If Ghost continues his posts,
And finds us agreeable hosts,
Wouldn’t it be ironic.
That is, if Ghost made us all gracious hosts.
So, Ghost. Continue to post.
And we shall continue to host.
Welcome ghost.
Nice post.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
Please give us more about yourself, here or in your profile!
Welcome,
Carl
Hi, I am Nanno, nobody welcomed me!!
oh I am babbling again.
whatever
Hi, nanno!
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
I’m no one special.
I just noticed this site yesterday while I was cruising around the net and the name Straight Dope caught my eye…sounded cool.
I’m your average Canadian just looking to shoot the shit once in awhile and read some of these wacky topics
Thats about it, I’m sure I’ll come up with some funny stuff in the future, but for now
I’ll just look around and get the feel for the place…thanks for the warm reception
just one more question…
Does every new member get a poem written for them?..I feel kind of special now
ghost: I hope not, because then I got ripped off. Where’s my poem!? ò.ó
(j/k)
Uhhh…damn, I guess you can’t underline.
Ò.Ó
I didn’t get one either 
Oh well… Welcome to the board, Ghost
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Hiya Ghost, you’re one of the speshul see through people that gets a poem. All the rest of us that can be * seen * no point in making a poem for us!! 
Pull up an invisible chair and surf awhile.
We ** do ** have an ‘Undead Dude’ that might be up your alley!
Judy
“Muck should replace ‘suck’. For ‘muck’ is yucky, while ‘suck’ feels very lucky. So, don’t stay stuck on suck, switch to MUCK, today.”
Welcome Ghost. No not everyone got a poem, just when the mood hits Lex I guess. Although I do have a nifty Wally sig line.
** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.