My stepson is really starting to piss me off. He bitches and moan to his mom who then bitches and moans to me about my cooking. OK, so you get the whole picture, the wife doesn’t cook and has no interest in cooking and she says “Everyone has their own tastes.” What’s the problem? No matter how much effort I make to use herbs and spices to flavor dinner, he puts a ton - and I do mean a ton - of fucking ketchup all over it. She doesn’t get how insulting that is to the cook. Pork chops roasted with sage and rosemary? Drown it in ketchup. Green beans with garlic and gruyere? Pile on the ketchup. Steak done simply with salt, pepper and butter? Better believe there’s ketchup all over that bitch. You see, ketchup covers up the flavor of the food to make it all taste like - well ketchup. So why should I bother seasoning his food? So when I make something for him that I’m not going to eat (Mrs Cad and I are dieting) I just throw whatever I’m cooking on the stove and then he bitches that I don’t season it. Bear in mind this 23 year old can’t taste the seasoning under all that ketchup - he just knows that I season my food and not his and he has to bitch to his mom about how unfair it is. And when I say why should I bother, then the “Everyone has there own tastes.” come in. Never any thought of why I should make an effort if no one cares what my food tastes like.
Why not have him cook his own food? The little 23 year-old bitch complained to his mom that I didn’t cook for him and his mom got on my shit about it.
Make some BIG SIGNS…one on the food cupboard (FUD HERE----->)…one on the fridge (COLD FUD HERE----->)…one on the pot/pan cupboard (THING FOR COOKING FUD HERE----->).
Then let him go at it. Either he’ll figure out a way to feed himself, or he’ll starve. FFS, he’s 23! Bugger that bullshit.
(That being said, my grandson (aged 4) will not bide ketchup (tomato sauce) on ANYTHING he eats. Which is totally unAustralian. Tomato sauce is mandatory on pies, hotdogs and chippies (amongst other things). Little freak won’t touch it with a forty-foot barge pole)
You got two problems here - a 23 year old adolescent stepson and a wife who is allowing her 23 year old son to act in such an ungrateful way. The hard and fast rule in my house - if you want to complain about my cooking, you are more than welcome to cook your own damned food. I don’t get paid enough to listen to someone bitching about the food I put effort into while they sat on their asses.
ETA: I agree with you about drenching everything I cook in ketchup - that is indeed an insult to the cook.
If you’re cooking for a group of people and he’s one of them, then whatever, he can do what he wants with his portion. If he’s the only person you’re cooking for, then forget it. You must know that? What’s going on, man? Talk to us.
Your problem is much deeper than a 23 year old man acting like a spoiled child, but I think you know that. Having said this this problem is 100% entirely your fault, you own it completely. It’s not the man-child whiners fault or your supine wife’s fault. It is entirely your decision to cook and whom to cook for in a house of adults, but you are pretending it’s not so you can be insulted and oppressed by his horrible whining.
You need to tell your wife and the man-child that your cooking is going to be more limited in the future and that he needs to fend for himself cooking-wise. There will be food for him to make his own meals if he chooses but the Saint Cad kitchen open to all is closed. Yes, this will cause issues until he manages to find away to fend for himself but the combo of somewhat controlling and sensitive cook (you) and a demanding man child who disrespects fine dining (him) is not sustainable.
You need to lay it out dispassionately and matter of factly. If you start a “you disrespect my cooking” rant as part of this disengagement you will look like an overly emotional fool.
So let me check I understand this…you’ve got the hump because he chooses to add ketchup to the food you cook, so in order to punish this dreadful behaviour, you deliberately cook his food differently because you know it upsets him?
I actually understand why the OP is doing the cooking. If it was left up to the stepson to fend for himself he’d probably eat all the pork chops, meant for a couple meals, in one sitting and then whine about why there aren’t any more. Meanwhile the OP is trying to figure out what to substitute in for the night’s dinner since the choice of entree is gone.
OP, I get it’s insulting to the cook. Really. But your stepson is the one who’s got to eat that food, and for whatever reason, his palate is fucked up enough that he apparently requires ketchup over everything. Just humor him a little if you’re happening to make different food for him and throw a bit of seasoning on it. I mean, you can taste salted vs unsalted fries under ketchup so it’s a bit of a stretch to say he can’t taste it anyway.
What I’d do is simply state that you are done being a short-order cook. You will make one meal each evening. Stepson can put ketchup on it or fix a sandwich. Complaints will not be accepted. Your house is not a restaurant, and everyone in the world has managed to live through the experience of having a parent/guardian cook for them nightly without getting to choose the menu.
Furthermore, your wife has to be on your side on this. Cooking interesting meals every night is tough, and it is demoralizing to be hearing that while you’re also dealing with the willpower-sapping experience that is losing weight.
So, if I came to dinner would you get all butthurt if I added ketchup? I highly doubt it.
If you’re expecting praise or gratitude for cooking for a 23 yr old you’re destined to be disappointed. Try and get your expectations aligned back to reality.
What do you care what he puts on his freaking food? You’re not eating it! And as long as he eats it you have no complaint, to my mind.
And you take offence and then stop seasoning his food altogether? That’s incredibly immature, just what exactly are you trying to teach the boy? How to be a wanker?
And, ‘it’s an insult to the chef!’, what are you? The iron chef? Are you prepared to let him determine what your food gets seasoned with? I thought not!
Since you clearly don’t have the power to make him cook for himself, it appears to me, you are just trying to exert control in a very thinly veiled and somewhat childish fashion.
How can a grown ass man honestly stamp his foot and insist the chef gets to say how everyone seasons their own meals? In what world?
Your step-son sounds like a spoiled ungrateful little shit. Your wife enables the behaviour. But you don’t make it easier on yourself by being passive aggressive with cooking the same food differently for him to teach him a lesson.
If you’re going to continue to cook for them, do it the same way for everyone. If he’s going to soak everything in ketchup, you just have to make peace with that.
The alternative is that you cook only for yourself and I don’t know if that’s something you want to start doing if family meal times are important in your household. If they are not, or if they have just become a battle ground, then there is obviously much more going on than the insult of ketchup on a lovingly prepared pork chop. So in the case of the latter, calmly explain to them that you are tired of the constant arguments and complaints about the food you serve. They either need to shut up and eat it or start cooking their own any way they see fit (and cleaning the damn mess after they’re done).
I understand your frustration, Saint Cad. If this was me, I’d find it incredibly stressful and depressing if my wife and kids couldn’t sit and share at least one meal together on a regular basis.
I’m going to disagree with the other posters. Cook what you’re cooking for the family (you, wife, stepson). I don’t care if he’s 8 or 18 or 23, as long as he’s living in the same house, that’s just sort of part of being a family. Cook everything the same. If he wants to drown it in ketchup, that’s his problem. The trick is not to get insulted. There’s no reason to. Either that’s just the way he likes his food, in which case it’s no reason to get pissed off about it OR he’s purposely doing it to get a rise out of you, in which case you have to stop getting worked up about it because that’s exactly what he wants. Would you really wants cracks in your marriage to start forming because you don’t like the fact the the kid is putting ketchup on his food? Let him put ketchup on his food and move on with your life. Who the hell cares what he puts on his food. If you kill the cow yourself, dry age the meat in your basement, marinate it for exactly 24.5 hours, grill it directly on the briquettes for 7 minutes per side and serve it with 2 perfectly complimented dishes but he wants to go toss his in some boiling water for a few minutes to get the char off and dip it in some ketchup…let him. It’s just not worth getting your feathers ruffled about.
So, just make three meals, make them all the same, to your liking, let him do whatever he wants to his. If he wants something else, he is free to make something else for himself.
Here’s the thing. It’s part of the living well is the best revenge mantra. If you just ignore him and focus on your wife, you two will be happy and he’ll go ape shit not being able to get to you (assuming that’s the reason for the ketchup).
