Any particular reason the kid’s putting ketchup on hookers?
Gotta improve the taste somehow, dontcha??
Just so everyone knows, the “cooking food differently” comes form when he works late and wants dinner after I’ve cooked for everyone else. at 9:00pm my thought is why should I go to all of the effort to properly season and sear and basically work at his dinner if it’s just going to end up as 10% food / 90% ketchup. Easier just to throw a couple of whatevers in a baking dish, throw it in an oven and tell him to take it out in 30 minutes. If I do that, then he bitches that I don’t cook his food like when we all eat together. When we all do, everyone eats the same stuff.
Dude, Saint Cad, you need to relax. Why the hell do you care if he puts ketchup on his food? I agree it is disgusting, but it has nothing to do with your cooking. The kid probably puts it on food he gets everywhere. Now if he only put ketchup on what you made, and left all other food ketchup free, then I agree you have reason to feel insulted. But I doubt this is the case.
The amount of anger you feel about this, angry enough to pull the passive aggressive behavior with the spices, is not healthy. Serious type A personality showing there. Be careful with that stuff before you turn into a angry, bitter, old man that just listens to Rush Limbaugh and is obsessed with all the wrong things in the world. You know type, right? It’s almost a cliche these days.
If he’s paying board where food/cooking is included, then simply cook his food at the same time you make your own and he can reheat it in the microwave.
If cooked meals isn’t included in his board, then he can make his own damned dinner. And if food isn’t included then he can make it using his own damned ingredients!
He is paying board, right?
Why in the hell are you cooking his food in this situation? He’s 23. He got home late, after everyone else had already eaten. He can fend for himself. My 12-year-old has more kitchen skills than your stepson, from the sound of it.
Well, often splitting up would solve the immediate problem brought before the board but it is rather like using a violin as a fly swatter.
For once, I sympathize with Cad. Stepson sounds like a dillhole and its very unfortunate that Mrs. Cad doesn’t see the situation the same. I’m assuming Cad works a 9-5? So being asked to make a meal at 9 is about 4 hours after dinners happened and just before going to bed? I’d refuse too. If he complains again, wait until 4 hours after he’s come home from work and make him mow the lawn. See how he likes it.
Why do you say this as if it’s some obvious moral, social, or cultural standard? My parents would not have demanded I pay rent etc. if I had stayed at home right after college.
In that situation, I’d suggest making dinner for three and he can reheat it when he gets home, make whatever he likes or grab some Taco Bell or McDonalds on the way home. That’s what my mom does for a sibling that still lives at home. She makes dinner for herself and my dad, then when my sister gets home she heats it up or has something else (and if she wanted to drown it in ketchup, that would be up to her).
Or ask his real mom to make dinner the second time. You’re basically getting bullied and you need to stop letting him get a reaction out of you.
Because here in the land of no middle ground, all kids pay rent to their parents after they turn 18.
I made an assumption and wanted to check it is correct. In all western cultures I have experienced, it is usual for an adult child who is working and living at home to make some kind of financial contribution to the household.
Why not make enough for everyone the first time around and stick the extra in the refrigerator for him to pull out when he’s home?
Does he inform you in advance when he’s going to be eating elsewhere?
One of the stranger pittings I’ve seen. Who the hell cares? Any why are you cooking for this little bitch?
By ‘paying board’ no, it’s not.
Some kids go grocery shopping for themselves or kick in a little around the house, but I think you’ll find that the actual about of over 18 year olds living with their parents and ‘paying board’ is in the minority.
Wait, I see NZ in your user name and UK in your profile. I should take that back. In the US, ‘paying rent’ (as we would call it) to your parents is pretty rare. If you’re going to pay rent to anyone, you’re probably going to move out on your own or find some roommates.
Is it common in the UK?
If the OP wants meaningful advice, he’s going to have to tell us what the real problems are. It’s obvious this isn’t really about ketchup.
Eastern cultures I’ve encountered, also.
It’s not about the nail.
Why would you cook again for him? The standard in my family (and pretty much every family I know) is if you’re late for dinner/can’t make dinner you can have reheated leftovers. Just cook everything at once, save a plate for him for dinner, problem solved. It wouldn’t even occur to me to cook a separate meal for someone after the main dinner has been cooked. Hell, sometimes the main meal is just reheated leftovers from the last few days.
It used to be the same situatoin with me and my teenage stepdaughter. BBQ sauce on everything. Used to annoy the hell out of me. Not appreciating the real flavor of the food, etc.
Then one day… Breathe in. Breathe out. Fuck it. I’m cooking to suit myself. She’s the one missing out. Not on my list of things to worry about.
So my advice? Breathe in. Breathe out. Think fuck it. Carry on.
While I was mulling my thoughts on this topic, Pulykamell came in (post 37) and posted exactly my conclusion: no extra food preparation.
Don’t watch the ketchup routine either. The food is now his to season or slather any way he desires.
Good luck!
I would disagree that it is pretty rare. A lot depends upon the relationship of the parent/children, and what the child is actually doing. A full-time grad student racking up student loans might get a free ride; a kid who still hasn’t got his GED may be expected to contribute (and may or may not). A college grad working full time might (and IMNSHO should) be paying rent. I know one family who collected rent from their college grad for two years, and when he got married and wanted to buy a house, informed their son they’d been keeping the rent in a savings account for his down payment. There is never a one-size fits all solution; the best you can hope for is a one-size fits many.
I hesitate to read too much into a post, but this was a formerly single mom, we don’t know for how long, and we don’t know just how her relationship with her boy developed prior to the OP. It’s easy to sit back like we’re in the Springer audience and throw stones at anyone who isn’t the perfect parent, but there are no perfect parents (except me, of course, but we all already knew that:cool:). The son may have gained the upper hand simply due to the mother’s mental and emotional strength (or lack thereof). Or the son could be doing everything he can to drive a wedge because he’s no longer the man of the house. Or maybe it is a power play by the son.
I have no clue as to the relationship going on beyond the food thing. But I do know that people are plenty petty, plenty weak, and as superior as it might make us feel to point it out in others, it doesn’t help anyone.
Saint Cad, I suggest you take Ascenray’s advice, cook enough for three, and otherwise ignore what he does. If his goal is to get a rise out of you (and I don’t know if it is or isn’t), giving him that rise is just going to escalate things.