Standard in my family when I was a teen–and even when I’m visiting my parents now that I’m an adult–is almost the same as that. There’s one mighty big exception: to get that treatment, one has to call home and inform the parent one will be late. Call home, arrive late, get reheated food. Don’t call and when you get home, no meal. And Heaven help you if you’re caught sneaking a snack before breakfast.
I agree with all of this. 23 years old, getting home from work - time for Sonny Boy to act like an adult, and that includes cooking for himself and (probably) paying rent - that might depend on the situation, as in, if he’s finishing up a degree, maybe no rent until he’s finished school.
Have to agree with this, too - there are some unhealthy dynamics at play here.
There are big problems in this household. Ketchup is not one of them.
Is he at least buying his own damned ketchup?
When I first read your rant I thought “why not just let the poor kid enjoy his meal the way he likes it? After all, he’s just a kid. What do you expect from a . . . 23-year-old!!??”
Ah . . . Yeah. Whaddafugizupwiddat!?
Now you have my complete sympathy and bewilderment.
As others have said, what is this self-entitled man-child doing whinging to his mummy about your cooking? That’s several shades of messed up right there!
Clearly the two . . . no, the three of you have issues beyond Tiny Yolkem drowning his food in ketchup, and I think I remember you ranting about some of those in other threads.
A big part of the problem seems to be simply that your adult stepson is behaving like a child, and being treated as such, by his mother at least.
You shouldn’t have to put up with that bullshit. Show him how adults behave.
Don’t go through mum. Tell him directly that you don’t mind cooking for him so long as your effort is appreciated and not wasted. Suggest he could also learn to cook for himself. And maybe suggest that if he’s not happy with something you’re doing, then he should speak to you about it, because “Maaaaaaahm!” is not the call of an adult.
Weird strange pit. I place the anus squarely on the OP. Regardless, add me to the list of folks who wonder why you don’t cook enough the first go around the let him heat it up.
Onus? Or do you really mean anus?
So you are on the couch watching tv half-asleep thinking about heading to bed soon and your stepson gets home from work and walks in and says, “Butler prepare my evening meal.” and you jump up from the couch, snap to and salute him and say, “Yes Sir.” and then go into the kitchen and make him a five star meal all the while muttering under your breath about him being a little bitch and bring him his meal while he is waiting at the table.
It sounds to me like you’re the bitch in this household.
My cat places her anus on everything around this house.
Don’t season the food, season the ketchup.
Good question. When I do make dinner for him ahead of time, half the time he decides later on to eat elsewhere. Yes even after he swears up and down that he will eat dinner at home so his dinner goes into the refrigerator never to be seen again because heaven forbid he eat leftovers I made for him. Of course no support from Mrs Cad on that either but I’m willing to give her a little bit of a pass because she thinks that I take ingredients out and magically 45 minutes later they are a meal. Yeah she’s that clueless about cooking because for her - Kraft Mac & Cheese with twice the butter, half the milk and some pre-grated cheddar cheese is gourmet-level of chefing.
The conclusion I came to last night was that when he gets home late, he needs to prep his own food. If he wants me to cook when I cook everyone else’s then he cannot eat out which wastes food. I don’t think that B is an option for him which leaves A.
The acidic tomato paste acts as an antiseptic?
Wow - the lack of appreciation for what kind of effort it takes to cook a meal for multiple people in your house night after night is astonishing. I dunno - maybe you need to go on strike for a couple of weeks until it sinks in that they need to appreciate what you do or do it their own damned selves.
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
- the Soup Nazi (Larry Thomas) from the Seinfeld show.
The “boy” already appears to be a wanker. No further teaching is required.
(As an aside, would you mind defining what you mean by the term, butthurt? There seems to be some forum and general confusion about what that term means.)
The OP is possibly a little retentive, but the stepson sounds positively expletive.
Which end do you whisper to?
And which end whispers back?
Poison the ketchup, frame the wife for the crime, sell the house, move into a penthouse apartment and buy a bright red Corvette, and then cook what you please exclusively for yourself and the twenty-something girlfriend you met on a cruise, and if she complains boot her off the balcony. Do I have to think of everything?
Stranger
I’ve got to side with Astro on this. You own it. Either fix it or deal with it.
Don’t get me wrong… I also agree that your step-son is a whiner, from what you’ve described. But this is, indeed, your problem to work out.
He has a job? Why the heck is he still living at home? I would want to get the fuck out of there if it were me.
I stayed with my parents for about 3-4 months after I graduated from college and was saving up in order to get all the stuff needed for an apartment (furniture, TV, pots, pans, etc…) that I didn’t already have. I didn’t pay rent or anything- my folks were willing to help me out a little to get me set up on my own.
At no point was I ungrateful to my family for cooking dinner though, even when it wasn’t things I’d like. I either sucked it up and ate it, cooked stuff I liked for everyone, or made my own food arrangements.
And definitely at no time when I came in late did I expect anyone to cook for me or even have it ready; I wasn’t there at the designated meal time, so I was on my own.
I think your stepson is being a dick- if he’s showing up at 9 pm after work, then his meals are his business and his problem. You’re not even really bound to make enough for him to have leftovers. If he’s there at the duly designated time, then he can eat what you cook or go get something else on his own.
I’m kind of ambivalent on the ketchup thing- on one hand, I can see how if you spent a lot of effort on the meal that adding ketchup is kind of annoying, but by the same token, you’re not a professional chef, so it’s not like a professional insult if he puts ketchup on your nicely roasted t-bone.