No, it isn’t. Having said that, western economies have far fewer entry-level jobs with decent pay than 50 or 25 or even 10 years ago, so it’s now much more common for 23 year olds to be living at home. I expect there will be a sea change in the related societal expectations soon.
23 years old is far too old to living with Mom.
I can understand if he is between apartments and is staying for a few weeks until he finds another place, but other than that…kick his ass out. He needs to learn to be an adult. Obviously, he is behind in his lessons.
- pay one’s own way
- be courteous to others, particularly when they are doing you favors
- learn to do things for one’s self
- yada, yada, yada
I’ll take “pittings that didn’t go very well” for $100, Alex.
He just got a job after being out of work. Most of the reason he’s living with us is to learn how to be an adult. If anyone is interested, I can tell you the horror story of how he didn’t get thousands of dollars in unemployment and I was the bad guy 8 months after the fact.
The upshot of this is that Mrs Cad is clueless so I’M the unreasonable one when I don’t want to go to a lot of effort so that step-Cad can basically eat ketchup (hence the title of this thread) or eat out. For those of you thinking that I’m getting too butthurt over this, let me ask you. You decide to paint pictures as a hobby and you give one to a relative. They decide to paint all over it to improve it and your spouse supports them saying “People have different tastes in art.” If you still make paintings for other family members the paint-slapper complains that you don’t make any for them and Spousy complains that you are unfair. If you do make more, they paint all over it making you feel like shit - and no one empathizes with you. If you take the middle ground and make no effort in your painting for them, they complain that painting isn’t as nice as the ones you make for other people and Spousy takes their side. In all fairness to the spouse, they don’t understand how much effort and love goes into each painting because they think it’s just brushing paint on canvas.
How would you feel? What would you do?
Is your wife’s friend or sister or whatever still freeloading off you, too? Why haven’t you removed yourself from these people, yet?
I have two quasi-grown daughters, aged 19 and 22. They’re at college most of the year, but when they’re home, if I’m cooking, I make enough for all of us. It’s just as easy to cook for 4 as it is for 2, and it’s actually less waste because things like ground beef and chicken are often packaged for 4. It doesn’t matter if they’re around to eat it come dinner time, I include them because I’m nice that way. If they’re not home when it’s done, I pop the leftovers in the fridge for them to eat later. Or not.
The nights I don’t cook, they’re on their own. Those are great opportunities to eat leftovers if they don’t want to make something on their own.
Seems quite reasonable to me.
As far as the food goes, I’m not going to get myself all worked up over how they season it. When my youngest was a kid, she ate honey mustard and/or ketchup on just about everything. Yes, I’m talking ketchup on prime rib.
*Who the frick cares? *
If you do really care, and it appears you do, then you’re being unreasonable. Get over it, and quit picking fights with a kid just because you don’t like him.
It’s quite common for 23 year old kids to live with their parents, especially if they’re still in school or haven’t landed a career job yet.
I would feel unappreciated so I would stop making him dinner. If you are trying to teach a grown man how to be an adult, how is cooking him dinner doing that?
I’m curious how these two things are related. Do share please.
The thing is that a dinner is not a painting, it is food no matter how good a cook you are. Do you get upset if someone uses salt or pepper, and if not how is it different?
Look, I agree with other posters that the kid should honestly be cooking for himself, but I still think it is silly for you to get upset about the ketchup. If he spray paints every piece of art and furniture he brings into his house with black paint; well, it is kind of his loss. Once you give him the picture it is his to do with as he wants, even if what he does destroys it in you opinion. He is not just defacing your art, he is painting over every culinary masterpiece and garbage junk food he touches. It is not a personal insult, just generally insulting behavior.
I would just roll my eyes and not waste any fillet mignon, crab legs, or other expensive delicacies on him. If he wants to put ketchup on your inexpensive, yet delicious and subtly spiced garlic green beans with almond cream balsamic reduction and shitake compote or whatever the hell it is your making, why does it matter? Is making 3 helpings really that much harder than making 2?
This is cooking for a family, man, not creating daily works of art. When I mow the lawn or take out the trash or do the laundry I don’t expect anyone to stand back and admire my work. I don’t throw a hissy fit when I see the exact same tee shirt in the laundry the next week with sweat stains.
Just because you’re the only one who knows how to do it - or rather, knows how to do it to your liking - doesn’t mean you are some ACTUAL saint. You are just the person in the family who does the chore because you’re best equipped. Or because no one else gives a fuck.
Yes your stepson is being a brat but, holy smokes, get over yourself! Cooking for a family is something that happens every day. If you’re expecting to be lauded for it every day then you are doing it wrong.
While I do agree that he needs to get over it, I wouldn’t call a 23 year old man a “kid.”
I also agree with posters who have said that this might be part of a larger problem.
How the fuck did you manage to get yourself into this fucking situation and how the fuck are you still fucking in it? Fuck. Dude. WTF?
Ask yourself this question, why are you cooking him dinner? I don’t mean that in a “tell the lazy slob to cook his own dinner” way, but examine your own motivation.
If it’s because you love and respect him and want him to relax after a hard day’s work, then make the food the way he wants.
If it’s to promote family togetherness and harmony, make the food the way he wants.
If it’s to keep him and your wife from whining incessantly, make the food the way he wants.
If it’s to avoid having to confront him and your wife about his extended adolescence, either make the food the way he wants, or hitch up your britches and confront them.
You are creating conflict by making the food in a way he dislikes, but it’s conflict that will not resolve the essential problem, that he is not caring for his own needs.
“The clue is - It put the ketchup on the pork chop or else it gets the hose again”
I agree with Happy Fun Ball. Why the hell should you get worked up over your stepson putting ketchup on his food? Millions of people love ketchup and feel it enhances the food, not covers it up. If food didn’t taste better with ketchup, it wouldn’t have been invented. If you think it’s an insult to your cooking, you need to remove the stick from your ass. As long as he eats it, who the fuck cares?
Hear, hear! This notion that using normal condiments such as salt, pepper, catsup, etc. is an insult to the chef is one that seems to have crept in over the last 15-20 year. This attitude didn’t exist (or at least wasn’t prevalent) when I was growing up, and it frankly strikes me as a noobie chef notion that should have been slapped out of people their first semester of cooking school.
“Wah I’m doing fine art cuisine for my bratty adult step-son who shits all over it with ketchup then whines to his mom who then bitches me out so I do it all over again”.
Still weird.
This reminds me of the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Frank’s “foot pills” affect his sense of taste, and he adds salt to one of Marie’s dishes before tasting it, horribly offending her.
Going back and re-reading the OP, I think the solution is kind of simple - just stop cooking for Sonny Boy. He can cook what he wants and drown it all in ketchup, or he can eat out - either way, you’ve removed yourself from the stress-inducing equation.
Are you kidding? That kid is living like a Boss!