She sounds just like my brother’s idiot girlfriend. It’s amazing. Although she never managed to graduate from high school, and every member of my family has at least a college education, and my dad has a PhD from Harvard, yet somehow, she knows more about everything than any of us know about anything. Truly astounding.
She goes to a Catholic College so, interestingly, The Catholics were right all along!
But really, I should have posted this list AFTER we went to lunch because there we learned:
How to correctly pronounce ricotta
how to properly prepare an artichoke.
WHAT causes Munchausen by Proxy
How the subway system in Chicago could be better
How the restaurant we were in could be better
How her mother could be better
How to figure how much to tip (even though I’M the one who’s been a waitress)
How to beat the Airshow Traffic
Fed up with her insanity at forcing all of us to believe that “everybody loves ricotta cheese”. I finally said, “Let’s all face it. When she has an opinion, we’d better all submit to it.”
She answered,
“It’s not about having an opinion. It’s about simple fact”
She’s gone now. The apartment is blissfully quiet.
Lux, this would be a cool sig to use if mine wasn’t so appropriate for my profession.
jarbaby
When exactly did my sister leave your house? 
She may be on her way to my house and I need to hide.
Okay, I’ll bite. How?
Protesilaus
Perhaps she can next solve the eternal mystery that is “manicotti.”
Everybody loves ricotta cheese? Everybody? Damn, and all these years I thought I hated that crap. You SIL is a woman of perplexing perspicacity.
Years ago (when I was going to art school) I found a button that said “I’m an art student. I know everything.” I found it to be quite fitting!
(At least I was smart enough to recognize the phase I was going through!)
Glad your sister is out of the house, jarbabyj! She can now enlighten all her fellow college students, some who also know everything. How much fun that will be!
I’ve lived in Chicago my whole life and I am DYING to hear how to ‘beat Airshow Traffic’! Besides waiting 6 or 7 hours to drive home, assuming you were dumb enough to actually DRIVE in the city.
But, did she ever rip off Mr. Jarbaby’s underwear because it was meant for her? That would be a good story for the grandchildren for “How Grampa and Gramma met.”
I’m concerned. Here we are in the Pit, in a thread started by jarbaby, and yet there was not one ounce of profanity in her threads. WHAT HAS THAT AWFUL WOMAN DONE TO YOU?! I would’ve expected at least one “fuckjob”.
Seriously though, people with that type of personality tend to be the ones that get sucked into cults easily. Mebbe you can drop her off at O’Hare and introduce her to a couple.
So college can teach people things after all! That is a relief. I decided not to teach high school after my student teaching experience because I didn’t see the point. Why bother teaching people who already know everything in the world there is to know? But it looks like there are some other things that college may be able to teach them after all!
Hmmmmm…I betcha she’d have some things to say about coal, if prodded!
And it’s great to see you back, Anthracite.
Nothing more dangerous than someone with year of college education.
Send her up here to Madison when she’s done solving all of Chi-town’s needs. We’ve (OK, I’ve) got a hell of a property tax problem that’s just waiting for her insight.
Jar, are you SURE she’s not my brother-in-law in a wig? he’s one of those people who, if you ask him what time it is, he’ll tell you how watches are made . . .
That’s ok, by the time she’s a senior, she should be back to knowing nothing again.
True wisdom lie in knowing how little you truly know…or some damn thing. 
The best moment that comes out of knowing people like this (I’ve got a younger sister who fits this profile) is when they meet someone just like them, and they comment to you about how the other person is an obnoxious know-it-all. That may be the best laugh you ever have in your life. Just something to look forward to. 
Mrs. Pluto and I were just laughing about this the other day. (No, not about our 18-year old daughter who has known everything since she was about four. I said “laughing”.)
Some friends of ours are the world’s fussiest, most opinionated people in the world. Right in line with the “fact, not opinion” statement of jarbaby’s sister.
They’re both career military, but they told Mrs. P. that when they get out they’re going to smoke marijuana (which they can’t do now because they get tested at random). We thought that was a funny goal to have but then we realized that when they do take it up the world will finally know which dope is the finest avaiable. They wouldn’t smoke anything less than the best. Drop me a line in five years or so and I’ll be able to give you the straight dope on dope.
And they are occasionally redundant sometimes.