Ok Dio, I have to break you off some style points.
I’ll have you know that two people here have friended me!
So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Come on, people! This is the PIT! And Dio is the one being pitted! The proper response to this quote is:
Dio, you are so full of shit it’s spilling out your ears. I have a cat who’s been fat since he was a kitten. You are just totally incapable of accepting that your limited experience is not representative of the real world. Try going to Wal-Mart and buying a new brain. Your old one is rotting!
Also, Dio is probably mistaking kitten fluff for fat - some kittens are fluffy, you know.
No they aren’t.
Sure… the Republican ones…
That’s a typical Liberal attitude - all Republicans are fat cats. (Are we still doing Dio, or are we just bringing out all the old chestnuts now?)
Well I’ve never seen one so surely this must be true.
Chestnuts roasting on a BBQ Pit fire…
“Oh, those are cute kittens. What are their names?”
“Clinton, Pelosi, and Obama.”
“That’s nice.”
two weeks later
“Those kittens are still really cute. What were their names again?”
“Now they are named Reagan, Bush, and Romney.”
“Two weeks ago they were all Democrats!”
“Yes, but now their eyes are open.”
Regards,
Shodan
I wished you a happy birthday recently, and you didn’t reply.
Regards,
boomerwang
OK, then, thanks for the birthday wishes. At my age, I forget.
Regards,
Shodan
The Republican Party welcomes you, I’m sure. They don’t seem to have a use for people with good memories.
The mind reels with alternative punchlines. 
You know who else had open eyes?
Sauron. That’s who.
At this point, this is off topic, but I just thought of a good answer to the thread title’s question. Ahem:
“He could float a neutron star.”
Thank you.
“Yes, but now they are willing to fight each other for food, even though there’s enough for everybody.”
Don’t quit your day job.
Regards,
Shodan
“They are mewling little pussies jockeying one another in search of protection from their mommy.”
Dio may teach Advanced Stubborness and Pomposity at the Harvard School for Mules but he is not dense.