Just punchlines

Two: one to mix the drinks and the other to call the electrician

You don’t know, man! You weren’t there!

The third statistician yells out: “We got him!”

No, I really don’t, teacher. I just hated to see you standing up in the front all by yourself!

Not right now, dad. My butt’s still sore.

Boy: (smirking voice) “It’s not my finger.”

Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.

The other half are men.

My third wish is to have my ability to please them reduced by half

He fell out of a guard tower.

Fill it up with water.

There’s white-out on the computer screen.

You don’t have to Father, the world’s smartest man just took my backpack

One… B. Six…G. Seven… I.

The doctor said: “Okay, you’re ugly too!”

No, he’s-a not! He’s-a wearin’ a neck-a-tie!

Yes, but this Fokker was flying a Messerschmidt

Well, just do your best.

“See - I told you it was Joe DiMaggio!”

Regards,
Shodan

Your parole officer hasn’t been born yet.