Interesting that no one has mentioned odors. All the smelly things that go on during sex: Has anyone showered recently? Various odors from various bodily openings; Halitosis; Farting; Accidental release of bowels; Vomit in mouth; “Santorum.”
Perhaps being “unrealistic” can be a good thing.
I’ve managed to miss the last three of these, but perhaps your sex life has been more exciting. :dubious:
I worked in pizza when I was younger. Not a one of our drivers were ever offered sex in exchange for pizza, although the topic was lively enough among us that we did have a policy in place in case a driver was ever confronted with the actuality.*
In interviews, I have read that porn stars are not crazy about some of the bizarre positions they have to contort themselves into in order to show off the goods for the camera. Cracked had an article this past week in which a lesbian performer complained she even pulled a muscle in her TONGUE, once…
*“You take too long, you risk getting written up. And you pay for the pizza out of your check. Aside from that, cheers!”
My brother the plumber had been hit on several times by customers, so it’s not entirely a fictional scenario.
Hotel bellhops would seem to be the most likely job to actually encounter no-strings offers of sex. When you combine the fact that one party is traveling and can move on without entanglements, and the fact that they are usually standing in a bedroom…
Plainly, I shooda gone into the plumbing business. Either that, or your brother is just a smokin’ Hasslehoff sex beast…
My brother the plumber had been hit on several times by customers, so it’s not entirely a fictional scenario. That is how he met his current girlfriend. She called the plumbing company looking for a “cat friendly” plumber. She wanted to ensure her kitchen faucet would leak, as one of her cats particularly enjoyed licking water from a dripping faucet. He knew how to make that work, they met, hit it off and have been together ever since.
Hotel bellhops would seem to be the most likely job to actually encounter no-strings offers of sex. When you combine the fact that one party is traveling and can move on without entanglements, and the fact that they are usually standing in a bedroom…
I’ve read of performer contracts that specify the maximum number of minutes they will endure particularly unpleasant positions like the “Piledriver” - the woman performing a headstand while the man plunges his penis downward (which doesn’t sound all that pleasant either).
Dunno know why my post showed up twice in two different versions, but I am posting from a moving bus, so things are a little weird.
My brother is a much more attractive and confident man than I am. How much more I cannot say without things getting into a very weird area.
Pass the brain bleach.
First response, and well, you nailed it in one.
But, as I learned from this op-ed piece in noted news publication The Onion, “The Plumbing Business Is Not As Glamorous As The Porn Industry Depicts.”
There is WAY less sex on the Tokyo subway than some websites would have you believe.
Gather Ye Rosebuds
We Need to See a Guy About a Thing
Bodice rippers are written rapeporn, all that’s missing is the cum-on-face.
Stephen Furst (“Flounder” from Animal House) likes to tell interviewers that once, when he was a young, unknown actor who delivered pizzas for a living, he had to deliver a dozen pizzas to a house that, it turned out, was hosting an orgy.
He was greeted at the door by a naked host and hostess who tipped him very nicely, but did NOT invite him to join in!
I had a rather attractive girl answer the door in her birthday suit once. I was working for a very busy major chain pizza place with up to ~30 drivers on at any given time, so she wasn’t waiting for me specifically. Plus she’d already paid with a credit card. But I didn’t get upset when she failed to tip me in money. 
I haven’t read enough… okay, I haven’t read ANY bodice rippers!
My only point was (a point the movie ***Don Jon ***made better) is that men are constantly being told to give up their unrealistic pornographic dreams and fantasies, so that they can have REAL relationships with REAL women.
Meanwhile, women are almost never told to put aside their unrealistic romantic dreams and fantasies.
I knew I’d seen this somewhere.
I hadn’t thought about this in years, but when I was about 23 or so and selling furniture, a woman offered me sex if I’d cut the amount of a bedroom suite in half.
It’s my impression that the common reaction to romance novels and their fans is basically just to point and laugh. The stereotypical bodice-ripper reader isn’t a young woman who looks like Scarlett Johansson, it’s basically the female equivalent of a neckbeard.
It wasn’t you, she was just trying to get a “free test” drive of the bed. She was an exhibitionist and would have insisted on doing it there in the store.
When I was a teen, I had a job selling t-shirts, programs and sno-cones at concerts. I would get the occasional “boob flash for free sno-cone” offer, but never got to the “half off bedroom set for sex” stage.
