Just what the frigg is his problem?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I do my work (genealogy) and my work (from process serving) on my computer. I’m here a lot and otherwise I am on the phone to my cousin who is in distress. But this does not happen all the time. I get dinner made, I get dishes done, I wash laundry, I clean house and I do go use the bathroom…among many other things-

he is rarely home and when he is, the tv is on with some sort of game and he in his chair

I dont see the spoiler link so read at your own risk

Idiot husband, as he is on occasion, jealous of me not spending more time with him. So I stop doing it all and sit down to watch tv with him…yeah. So that gives him more assurance?

Also I like to draw while watching tv…he doesn’t like that either

On the other hand as I see it, I ask for him to do little things for me. Little for example is helping me get pictures on the wall. We moved in here 3 years ago. There is like 25% of what pictures I have that I would like up

Oh there are so many other examples

I realize he works a lot and he has projects that he wants to do but my little things are minuscule compared to his crap. He has no idea how to prioritize.

In the winter his work is down to every other day.

Today I need some shelves up and they are glass and there is minimal depth to screw into. He cant find screws in the house for job. So he says when he goes out to the garage he will get some. And when will that happen? Not today I am sure.

He does anything to not do what I need done. He’ll fall asleep and run out of time to do it. After meals he will take care of “his” dishes and “his” stuff from the refrigerator. I am sure he does it subconsciously but still. This has been going on since the beginning so I know its not the computer or my cousin.

Just tired of it. I’ll call him on the shelf thing today at the end of today. (If I do) He will probably lose his temper at himself of course and work on it but I dont want it done in a huffy fit!

I just dont understand. I’ll end up doing it. It will take me 5 times as long as he would but at least it would be done.

I threaten to have my son come over and do it…never works but he does get mad when I say it

I rarely ask him to do anything now.

2

I’ve given up asking my husband to do anything for me in a “hey, can you do X sometime?” way. Instead I’ll get everything set to go and pick a time when I know he’s going to be most available to me mentally (which is harder than physically) and ask him to give me a hand for a minute.

In your shoes I’d go find the hardware in the garage, gather tools & shelving, get started, and THEN ask “hey can you hold this for me so I can make sure it’s straight?” Nine times out of ten he gets interested and will finish it for me, or at least help me finish.

As for the attention thing, he wants a security blanket. Mine does that too a bit, less so now after umpteen years together. I’ll sit and watch tv for a bit and if I don’t like it I’ll get up and do my own thing and say 'I’ll be back I just need to switch laundry around" or something like that. At one point when he crabbed at me that I never sat and watched TV with him I said outright that I couldn’t stand that show and I’d stay and watch with him if we could find something we both liked. Or he could stay with me while I watched my show. Or he could come help me fold laundry.

I WISH mine would do his dishes and his cleanup. He doesn’t. Somehow I’ve ended up being a 1950s housewife (more or less). The flip side of me doing everything is that I cannot and will not be at his beck and call. I’ll stop and chat or watch tv a bit, but then I’m doing my own thing. We actually go out for dinner once or twice a week when his work is crazy so that we have no excuse but to sit face to face and actually talk to each other :slight_smile:

3

thanks! :slight_smile:

Glad to hear someone else has the same problem! :slight_smile:

4

Oh, I would bet we’re many. :cool:

5

If I knew then what I know now…

6

Is your goal here to whine or are you seeking actual advice leading to actual change? Either is fine. But doing the former while expecting the latter is not a successful recipe.

7

I believe if a person is physically capable of doing whatever it is they want done, they should do it themselves. If someone offers to help it’s a bonus.

8

just needed to vent…he just makes me depressed, probably making me feel less than I really am

Didn’t have my anxiety medicine for about a week so it was extra upsetting that day

If I needed help I would have said I needed the help…and again glad to hear other husbands are less than obliging…:slight_smile: