A species that ISN’T obsessed with sex is not long for this world. Those who like sex and have sex a lot are likelier to pass their genes along, thereby creating more humans who like sex. There you have it.
I admit, however, that I think you’re overreacting. I’ve never met anyone so obsessed with sex they’re robotic, and you are certainly (and obviously) wrong in your assertion that sex’s only purposes are procreation and instant gratification. It’s also a strong part of human pair-bonding. Trust me; good sex is a big part of a strong long-term relationship, and if it’s lost, the relationship can suffer and die.
Really? I think you need to find a better class of friends, Dale. The overwhelming majority of sex-loving people I know are going at it for the emotional connection that is created/strengthened through the physical act.
I know many people who have been in many opportunities to have sex without emotional ties, and turned down the offers because sex sans emotion is unsatisfying.
Dale, I’m sorry that we haven’t taken your question as seriously as you would have liked, but:
"Sex isn’t the greatest thing on earth" - many people would disagree, or would just say that trying to ascertain what is the greatest thing on earth is futile - could we hear your opinion on what is the greatest thing on earth.
Your statements about it being messy/smelly/unpleasant simply don’t tie in with the majority of experience.
Sex is why we are here, I don’t mean this from any sort of metaphysical purpose type of stance, simply our survival as a species depends on sex and that’s why it’s such a priority for us as animals.
sex is like drugs. in this self-indulgent society , we go for the temporary high instead of reflecting and rejoicing in the higher levels of existance. you can surrender to the fact that we are animals or you can aspire to something higher.
how else do you explain the million of people with AIDS (“I know sex can kill me but want can I do?”) and drug addiction (“I cant help it cause it is a disease, its not my fault”)
“Its not our fault, we have the freedom to engage in activity that can kill us. Its up to the government to find the cure.” Have you ever heard that BS?
You may think of yourself as being a mind and having a sex drive. Actually, you are a sex drive that has a mind.
There exists a question: What does your sex drive drive you to want? You have a mind in order to figure that out and formulate a life strategy in order to realize it.
The simple answer may occur to you: “I wanna bang someone”.
Someone you love on a regular basis in a pleasant ongoing living situation in a peaceful secure world into which you can safely raise the children?
Hey, Wicca and some other excellent religions are essentially organized around the idea that the quest for this understanding and its fulfillment are holy & sacred. That, were you to truly and completely understand what the drive is telling you, and make it real, you would have brought about paradise, nirvana, etc.
Hey, I resent being told I have no emotional attachment to my [sub]many, although not as many lately[/sub] tricks… er, sex partners… er, “dates.” I don’t sleep with people I don’t like!
What’s worse, being sexually obsessed in a healthy way or being sexually repressed in an unhealthy way? Given a choice, I’ll take the former.
{goes off and molests matt_mcl just for the heck of it}
Some do, some dont. I love sex. I will have sex as many times a day as I can without bleeding. However, I am a serial monogamist. So is my appetite for sex BAD?
What I will interject here is that North America does not have the highest percentile of AIDS in the world. Third world countries do, for the most part. The life expectancy there is considerably lower than in other places and many people are ill-educated. Also, AHIV is not just spread by sex, as I’m sure you know. (the case of the rural Chinese village where most of the inhabitants were infected by selling plasma and having the red cells fed back into their bloodstreams thru infected equipment is just one, thought remarkable.)
Can you consider that for some people, AIDS is just one more way to die?
This is not a nice or pretty way to look at it, and it’s not an excuse to knowingly infect others, but there it is.
Nope, never heard this BS before, to be honest. (People really say that? Maybe we should let them off themselves.)
It depends on your hormone level, some people are obsessed and some ‘don’t get it’ like you.
You may as well ask someone ‘why is it you feel hungry if you haven’t eaten for a while ?’.
I could never understand why some friends of mine don’t go out ‘girl hunting’ or ‘go for it’ etc. but then realised this is the reason.
Of course their is an evolutionary advantage to being horny some of the time ( so you go out and reproduce !! ) but if your never horny enough to be bothered you won’t get far BUT on the other hand if your horny too often your partner may think your odd or have trouble trusting you.
Now don’t be too hard on Dale here. I think there’s a legitimate observation in his post that some of you seem to have missed.
There is a segment of the population that this is true about. Say a large segment of the male college age population, who go out to bars looking to hook up. And they are certainly looking for the instant gratification of someone to take home whether or not they turn that into a repeat encounter or a long term relationship. Unfortunately, that life has been glamorized and promoted by the media - through portrayals in movies and television to use of sexual content for adverstising. Is it wrong? That’s a moralistic judgement. But that lifestyle does go against what many of you have responded here, the importance of the relationship aspect. So Dale isn’t so far out in left field that you accuse him of being. Of course this worldview is so bad that some people think this is the way your supposed to go about getting into a relationship. This is how you shop for an SO - by going out, getting drunk, hooking up for the night, and seeing what develops. To the point that someone who doesn’t want to do this is left out. At least that’s my personal observation.
It appears to me that Dale has not had a significant relationship, and is thus looking at the world through the limited view of someone who sees the rampant sex for sex’s sake going on and wonders if there isn’t something more. Which sounds to me that if he ever did have a real relationship, maybe his desire for sex would increase based on sex as part of the whole emotional bonding relationship and not being a separated activity.
In short, Dale, you’re not that weird for not understanding the people that rampantly chase “tail” - any tail. Just recognize what makes you tick is not sex for sex’s sake, but maybe the whole relationship shebang. Or maybe not - maybe what makes you tick is skiing or golf. :shrug:
Besides, how do you know that your desire to “aspire to something higher” isn’t motivated by the same kinds of basic gut-level hormonally-induced pleasure mechanisms that casue the desire for sex?
You bet your gay boots, my friend. I insert so many little jokes in my posts, and finally… finally… FINALLY someone notices!! I hereby bestow upon you fifty SPOOFE points.
Well, you’re half right. I have had a very significant relationship. But the part you were right about is that I spend a lot of time around “typical” guys ranging in age from 18-35. I am really the only one who views sex as something other than the focus of a relationship (or so it seems).
Some guys brag about cheating on their wives, others go out just to “score.” There’s no emotion in these relationships because the partner is always conveniently discarded like (pardon the reference) a used tissue. Call me old-fashioned, but why can’t people keep it in their pants until they get married and then keep it within the marriage? If they’ve already “done it” together, there’s nothing to “consumate.” I often hear women ask “why does he keep pressuring me for sex?” Well, I’m wondering the same thing. (I’m not saying sex is worthless, but it should’nt be given #1 priority).
[smartass mode]
Some people just don’t understand me. Maybe I’m just the next Isaac Newton?
[/smartass mode]
Well, if all you were arguing for was less sex before marriage, I wouldn’t have bothered to post. (I still wouldn’t agree, since I don’t really believe in marriage, but that’s another thread entirely.)
I think the area where you lost most of us was when you said that sex was gross, messy, and smelly, and not that great anyway. It just seems like an unusual aversion to a very natural activity, and I wonder what makes you feel this way.
You ask why not, but a better reason would be to ask why should they wait untill marriage. Marrage in itself is a construct used by some people. That doesen’t mean everyone embraces it. Like dude said, your desire for sex is based on your horomone levels. Well, that and the way you react to those horomones.
It probably only seems unusual because society frowns on people giving that opinion.
I don’t sleep with people I don’t like!