Kevin Smith took me to a movie!

Last night, the UK Student Activities Board held a Q&A with director and writer Kevin Smith. As fans since we first saw Clerks at the KY Theatre Midnight Movie our freshman year, CrazyCatLady and I couldn’t stay away.

I had my ACLS certification this morning, so I had to leave early–three and a half hours into the talk. Tam didn’t get home until after midnight. He answered questions from the audience without a break for nearly five hours.

Despite the horrible nature of some of the questions–you can imagine, I’m sure–he occasionally veered one of them into a hilarious story, such as how he got to know Jason Mewes and his experiences working on an aborted attempt at the new Superman movie. (The producer gave him three rules for the script–he didn’t want to see Superman in “that suit”, he didn’t want him to fly, and at some point in the movie, Superman needed to fight a giant spider.)

Kevin has made a policy for these Q&A sessions that he will not sign anything. There were well over 1000 people there, he said, and he really wanted to talk for a long time, and if he signed something for one person, he had to sign for everyone. He felt bad about it, especially since so many in the audience had brought posters and DVDs for him to sign.

So, he said, he’d make it up to us, as a one-time thing–he would take us all to the movies. He wanted to go see “Changing Lanes”, (“I’m Affleck’s bitch,” he said), and he didn’t want to go by himself. Thus, he offered to buy out today’s 12:55 showing at Lexington Green so anyone who wanted could come see it for free.

Tamara cursed her luck, as she had to work. I began to curse mine–until I remembered that I’m a fourth-year med student, so I don’t have to do shit. (Seriously, my ACLS test was at 9:00, and would be over by 11:00. Sweet!)

When the test was over (I passed, by the way!), I headed on over to the Green, where I found a small line of Kevin Smith fans who had nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon. (A good cross-section, when you think about it.) The line eventually swelled to around 200 people, snaking around the building.

News cameras arrived. Many people shielded their faces, as they were skipping class or work. A woman in a pickup truck drove up to the line, saying she worked in the office building facing us, and that her co-workers had been taking bets on what we were in line for. “Star Wars,” the guy next to me said.

Someone else drove up and asked the same question, getting the same answer. “No, seriously,” he said. “We’re in line for the new Ben Affleck movie,” someone told him. “No, seriously,” he replied. “Ben Affleck?” Two people, simultaneously, replied, “Yeah, he was the bomb in Phantoms 2!”

Finally, about half an hour before showtime, we saw Kevin Smith walking across the parking lot. (He was staying in the adjacent hotel.) “Don’t any of you people have school?” he said. He went on inside where, he explained later, he had difficulty paying for everything, because this Cinemark did not accept credit cards. They graciously agreed to accept a check, and the line started to move inside.

The crowd was live, cheering on the asinine “Coke Race” in the pre-film slides (go, Diet Coke!) and occasionally making jabs at the more ridiculous parts of the movie. (It was a pretty good flick, really, but of course there was some occasional unfortunate dialogue.)

Kevin sat in the back, and when it was over, he got up and said, “Thanks for coming, guys!” and darted out. I walked by him in the lobby, and just stopped to shake his hand and say, “Thanks”. I could have talked more, but I figured the festival of fanboy fellatio would be close behind me, and I didn’t want to be part of it.

So if I can say nothing else this week, I can say that one of my favorite writer/directors took me out to the movies. That was above and beyond, and if I had been a fan before, I’m a bigger one now.

Dr. J

hi DoctorJ

Can you recall any other interesting questions he answered? Did he say which of his own films is his fave?

What kind of dr will you be when you’re done? (Congrats, btw)


What a lovely thing for him to do.

Kick ass! :slight_smile:

He sounds like a nice guy. Good for him.

Before this story, I would’ve wanted to beat him to a pulp for the piece o’ horse-hockey “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” Now I just want to break a leg and an arm. So it’s getting better for him.

He said that his favorite of his films is Chasing Amy. He said that it was a very therapeutic picture for him, since he used to have the sort of jealous streak the movie is about. It really helped him get over it. He also says it was the last “small” movie he made, and he misses that feel.

He recounted one episode when he was first getting to know Jason Mewes when he and another friend were hanging out in the rec center Kevin used to work in, and Mewes just came in and started “sucking off” every vaguely phallic thing he could find. Pool cues, tops of flagpoles, joysticks on video games. They just watched, captivated, but they realized that he wasn’t doing it so they could see him; it was as if he said, “Oh, three o’clock, time to go suck off everything at the rec center!”

He talked some about the “Clerks” animated series, and what happened to it. He said he was getting ready to sell it to UPN, when ABC–then lagging in third place and willing to try anything–talked him out of it. (“UPN won’t be around in a year,” the ABC execs told him.) They geared up for it, with ABC even offering them advertising time during the Super Bowl. Shortly thereafter, however, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” became an ungodly hit, so rather than take any chances with its mid-season replacements, they aired three eps of “Millionaire” a week. “Clerks” was pushed back to the summer, and eventually out of the picture. They’re making an animated movie, “Clerks Sell Out”; he says that if it seems vindictive, you can blame Eisner. (Gives you a new perspective on the Mooby the Cow empire.)

Someone asked if he knew anything about Now You Know, the new movie by Jeff Anderson (Randal from Clerks). Kevin didn’t, so he pulled out his cell phone and called him. (They were having another screening last night, and he was still hopeful it would be sold.) He tried to call Mewes, but his girlfriend apparently just kicked him out of their apartment, so he didn’t have his new number. He called Jason Lee, but he wasn’t home.

Kevin was intrigued by the thick Kentucky accent of one girl who came to the mike to ask a question, so he wouldn’t let her ask the question until she said, “Oh, fuck me, Silent Bob!” It took some goading from both him and the audience, but she eventually said it. “No,” he replied.

One guy had mentioned in the course of his question (a rambling and pointless one, IIRC) that he was gay. He later asked if Kevin would put him in his next movie. “No,” he said. “We only have one token gay spot in each movie, and it’s reserved for Affleck.”

Lost Shaker


Oh, and the bit about the movie theater not taking a credit card was almost reminiscent of those commercials where people (like Bob Dole & other celebs) forget their ID so they can’t write a check.

Ha ha ha!

Score one for being in the right place at the right time.

Yeah, Kevin Smith did one of those Q&A sessions at my college about three years ago, it was great. This was right after he finished “Dogma” (it didn’t get to theaters for another 10 months) and we got to see the preliminary trailors, which was great.

I loved all of the “Superman” stories he told, especially the one about the “new, updated costume!”


Dude that rocks. Recently One of the Farley brothers came and did a Q&A here (I forget which one…he’s an alumni, so that’s why.) Of course, the Farley brothers are nowhere near Kevin Smith in talent.

That is so cool.

Add me to the list of the insanely jealous.

That’s definitely something way cool! I bet you’ll have cachet among your friends for at least a little while now, won’t you?

Wow! I wish Kevin Smith would come to my school. I am in awe.

Tell us more stories, DrJ! Please?

Kevin Smith the conversationalist is pretty smart about his no autograph policy. One, he gets to talk more and two his signature will be all the morevaluable.

There is something about that man that I just find so hot and you may add me to the list of jelous.

I’m with Nacho4sara and I don’t even go to school.
Just kidding, I meant tell us more please.

I saw him at Syracuse a couple months back. He had the same policy about signing stuff, but he did call this one girl’s boyfriend on his cell phone. He also called Mewes and had him talk to us over the phone.

An addition to the Mewes sucking everything story–Kevin said Jay got to the Asteroids machine, which only had a couple buttons and a trackball. He said Mewes just stood there “like his brain broke” and then started tonguing the trackball.