A few years ago I bought two skeins of 100% angora rabbit yarn with little glass beads. It cost me about $60. I made a nice warm hat for myself. I felt guilty about the extravagance. Not any more!
The fuck is that thing?
Yeah, but kids are stupid. It’s the burden of their elders to educate them 
Wait…
Did you buy the yarn with little glass beads, or with $60? 
Probably Ezra Miller.
(bolding mine)
Bah! Rich folks. When I was a kid I wore the billed cap that the feed store gave out for free.
I’m bringing wampum back, baby!
That’s not a toque, this is a toque.
I was gonna say parents who worship at the altar of conspicuous consumption, but typoink beat me to it.
Haute couture. You know – fashion by designers who deep down inside really hate women.
Now, now. There’s no call to stoop to tu toque attacks.
Definitely a Dalek cocoon.
I am pretty sure that you mentioned a son before.
I believe you’re correct, hajario.
My bolding.
Did you disown him, what crime did he commit?
Concerned reader hopes that you guys eventually reconcile.
Okay, so hold up here–you have two daughters in college right now, but one of them was a CPA who banked her eggs in 2011, eight years ago?
I’m finding these timelines a little confusing, a little help here?
Yup. And for those label-conscious parents/kids who’d like a little systemic racism to go with their classism, note that the hat comes in a variety of colors including a rachel-pink or dusty-rose-beige officially called “skin color”. :dubious: Obviously, if you’re aware that skin comes in more colors than basic “whitefolks beige-pink” then this hat is not meant for you!
And speaking as an advanced-beginner knitter who’s just completing my first-ever handknit wool beanie hat, that bog-standard rib-knit ish from Moncler is NOT really anything special, people. The 100% wool yarn for the hat and the dyed fox fur for the pompom could easily be obtained for a total of less than $50.
While I’m all about artisans and handcrafters getting paid a fair price for their one-of-a-kind products, it irritates the hell out of me to see vanity labels slapping artisan-handmade prices on their completely ordinary mass-produced goods just because they can con trend-addicted rich folks into paying them.
Maybe. But this is just the handicap principle in action. Animals get it. If a gazelle can figure out that obvious fakery defeats the purpose of handicapping, then even a Fox News viewer can.
Of course, animals do try to fake their way into higher social standing every chance they get, but usually they do a better job at it than this. Some fraction of them will fail since there will always be a distribution in fakery in skill. And Fox News only reports on the failures.
I suppose the best possible spin here is that the hats are a bluff. That’s reasonable; a $350 hat is still cheap compared to other signals of wealth, like an expensive house. It works as long as no one calls the bluff, or it isn’t exposed via a random external event (like a stupid child). But no one succeeds in bluffing all the time.
I seriously doubt they think it through like that. It’s not “we’ll by junior this expensive item to pretend to be wealthy.” It’s “junior says that this will make him look cool, and we can narrowly afford it, so we’ll get it for her.” When junior loses it, they may be upset simply because it’s wasted, but primarily junior is upset, and the parents don’t want junior to be upset, but can’t afford another one. They also don’t want to blame junior, so instead blame the school.
This letter probably overstates what the school would actually do. By making it sound like they try really hard to deal with the problem, they appease these types of parents, while also getting the sensible rule that you just don’t bring stuff that’s that expensive.
I also assume the reason they get lost is because they’re not allowed to wear them indoors. If it stayed on your head, it would be hard to lose.
Sure; hardly anything thinks this stuff through at a conscious level, any more than people think “I’m just hoarding calories for the long winter” when they enfatten themselves on pork rinds. That doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it for that reason, though.
To Long Island parents…
Repeat after me: NO.
~VOW
A brief conversation I had back when I was still working in prison.
Prisoner: “Lieutenant, can I talk to you for a second?”
Me: “Okay.”
Prisoner: “I left my radio out on my bed this morning and when I came back later it was gone.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Prisoner: “Can you do something about it?”
Me: “Saying ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ was pretty much it.”