Kids Say The Darndest Things

My eight year old son says:

“Mote control” for remote control;

“Em-ee-em” for M and M’s;

“Finery” for refinery (petrochemical refineries).

Any other funny ones.


When my neice was about tow I taught her how to say Hermaphrodite (she got close Hermafdite) my sister loved me for that one <smirk>

Don’t let the loveless ones sell you a world wrapped in grey.

That brought back memories from about thirty years ago. I used to love it when my little brother said, “I look endiculous!” (ridiculous).

Or (say this one five times fast): “Special Derivelry.”

This has been a family joke since 1956.
When I was 7 I lived in a neighborhood where there was a typical little old lady, a neighbor two doors down, who baked cookeis, cakes, etc. All the little kids in the neighborhood knew her. I started taking her baked goods for granted, and one day I knocked on her door and asked:
“Mrs. Herman, do you have any more cookies?”
“Douglas, doesn’t your mother bake cookies?”
“Oh, no,” I answered. “She’s too old to make cookies.” :wink:

My three-year-old son once said that a pyramid is “when Mommy’s stomach hurts.”

Chaim Mattis Keller

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

Our 2-year-old picks up words really fast, but sometimes she will forget one she already knows. Early on she learned to identify ravens, among other common birds around here. The other day, though, I pointed to a big black bird in a tree and asked her what it was. She told me, with great confidence, that it was a “raisin.”

When my eight year old son and I were at a baseball game, he asked me who makes more money, doctors or baseball players. I truthfully answered that even an ordinary player probably makes ten times more than a doctor. He thought about that for a minute, then asked, “Why don’t the doctors become baseball players?”

You are unique - Just like everone else.

I was walking behind a women with her two small children and overheard this cute exchange.

Girl: “Look mommy it’s the alligator!”
Mom: “It’s the escalator.”

“You CAN’T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many ‘bad’ things you do on purpose,
you MUST be doing it because you think it’s the right thing to do.”

My daughter called caterpillars (trying to spell it correctly) “aunypeters”.

She still calls mosquitoes “spogitos”

My little neice, upon learning that my favorite snack food was “Devil Dogs” (does everyone have these??) told my sister at the store “We better pick up some Dog Bars, like Aunt Suzy likes”. The name has stuck ever since, and that’s what we call them now. Too cute!

It was dark all around.
There was frost in the ground
When the tigers broke free-

Words from my two year old…

Choccynoke: Chocolate milk
Bussit: button (when she says it fast, it sounds like a well-known cuss word)
Mamacheese: Colby cheese, my favorite
Daddycheese: American process cheese-food slices

When she was first learning how to talk, anything that was liquid was “milk.” We have some friends that have a farm, and they have a pond on their property. She saw that pond, and looked at us, and said “Biiiiiig milk!” Laughed so hard I cried.

My niece is 5. She was in the car with her mother(my sister) and a friend with her child. My sister said something about everyone having skeletons in their closet. My neice said quite adamantly, “nu-uh, I’ve pplayed in my closet lots of times and there aren’t any skeletons in there!”

Libby’s Mom

Bowen is only seventeen months, so he’s still learning, but I love his little Bowenisms…

Gink (drink)
Og/Gog (dog)
Dah-turr (doctor)
Butt (diaper)
Jocks (socks)

My friend was scolding her (then 4 year old) son Aubrey for something and he told her, “Momma, if you don’t stop yeahwin’ (yellin’) at me, I’m gonna call dem poweeces (polices) on you and they’re gonna take you to the jungle!!”
Robin: To the jungle? You mean to jail?
Aubrey (still very serious): Oh… TO JAIL!

Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.

Chris, that jail/jungle thing is SOOO adorable!

I have 14 nieces and nephews. My oldest nephew is 20 (I’m 25) and he just got married last month. I’m childless (and unmarried, and YES, happy about it), but I’ve always made a point of telling the babies that I’m going to be their favorite aunt. I shouldn’t even say I “tell” them; it’s closer to brainwashing. I repeat it until they get it, even if that means they’re in their teens :slight_smile:

It’s become the family joke. At the wedding last month, my new niece-in-law came up to me and said something along the lines of, “It’s my favorite Aunt-in-Law!” I was so happy that my efforts hadn’t been in vain.

Other than that, the cutest thing I usually hear is the mispronunciation of my name. Almost all of the nephews and nieces have called me Bali (or something close) for the first few years of their lives. One day one of my (obviously jealous) sisters came up to me and said, "How do you feel about all the kids calling their FAVORITE AUNT a bra?"The envy is so apparent…

“You’re going to listen
to ME? To something I
said? Haven’t I made it
abundantly clear over the
tenure of our friendship
that I don’t know shit?”

  • Brodie, “Mallrats”

When my brother was a little kid, he used to call cement-mixers “mint-kickers.”

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

When my oldest daughter was about four years old, she saw a down escalator and wanted to know " What happens when the basement fills up with stairs?"

My nephew occasionally left out “m’s” and “n’s” in the middle of words:

K-mart was K-art
Flamingo was Fla-ingo
Fingernail was Finger-ail

He also referred to a “bump” as a “gump,” (many years before there was a Forest). I thought it was funny, and to this day I refer to bumps as “gumps.”

The funniest thing that he ever did was when he wanted some peanut butter, and he asked for “peaba bubba.” I couldn’t stop laughing at that.

When I was 7, and my little sister was 4, we took a trip by Amtrak. We came to a city with a big railroad yard, with lots of tracks cris-crossing the one we were on. My sister looked out in amazement at all these railroad tracks, and was so impressed that it inspired her to sing: “We went over a wo-wo twack, a wo-wo twack, a wo-wo twack, we went over a wo-wo twack”, etc. I was in absolute hysterics, and the more I laughed, the more she sang it. “Wo-wo twack” remains an inside joke between us to this day.

We were driving and noticed a wasp in
the back of the van. I had to stop
and open the tailgate to let it out.
When I got back in our 4-year-old
said, “Now the bee’s gotta go get a

When I was a young’n, I used to be fascinated by numbers. I understood the difference between even and odd numbers, but I got them mixed up. So I tried to sort them out be asking about example numbers. The trouble is, I forgot the word “even” and substituted the word “equal”. “Momma, four is an equal number, isn’t it?”