I work in an office. About 2 months ago I had a casual conversation with a semi-weird guy about some weekend plans I had. He shows up at the bar where I was and hovers around me and my friends all night acting really creepy and annoying. From then on I was freaked out and started to avoid him.
A few weeks ago we had to move cubes, and who do I get to sit next to? Yep, the fucking stalkerboy. I decided to just ignore him as much as possible, which has worked fine because he doesn’t talk to me much these days.
Now the problem is that I have to sit and listen to him making this chortling, horking, laughing sound ALL DAY LONG. Instead of just a laugh, it sounds kind of like nose blowing or some shit. It is driving me nuts. I really don’t know how I’m supposed to sit next to this and get work done. It’s bad enough that I have to listen to him discuss The Lord of the Rings every single day with another dork that sits near us. I actually listened to him tell the other guy that he was going to see Lord of the Rings three times the day it came out and two times the day after. This guy is beyond lame.
Every time I hear the “laugh” I want to suffocate him. That is all.
Aaaah, yes. I’ve observed these animals in the wild. We classify them as Obnoxious Loserus. Funny when entrapped, yet completely predictable in the wild. . .
I’m sure if you mentioned to him a few times how “your boyfriend” asked you to “a movie” and “a nice dinner”, the fellah would quickly stop rubbing his antlers on any nearby tree. And make sure to deliver a story to him how “your boyfriend bought you a great gift certificate at the spa!”.
Tripler
Simple minds are oft easily diverted by simple tactics. I should know.
Well, he’s not flirting with me or anything. Actually, he doesn’t really talk to me anymore now that I ignore him (I have not so subtle bitchy ways of doing this).
It’s the laugh. The annoying fucking laugh. It’s like nails on a chalkboard, it absolutley makes my skin crawl.
I’d say that under these circumstances, death is definitely justified, and surely no jury in the world would convict you.
Just being a LOTR dweeb is enough to make the murder an act of humanitarianism.
[nitpick]
[Milton]…and then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler but I kept the Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much…[/Milton]
[/nitpick]
If you suffocate your cow-orker, you might lose your job and gain a jail sentence. I’m just saying, is all. I’d like to kill my tongue-clacking cow-orker, but I can’t.
See, there’s an Office Space quote for every occasion.
Ugh, yesterday he came and started talking to me about his new Lord of the Rings ring that he got for Christmas. He acted really offended when I said I didn’t plan to go see the movie. I hate to be a rude bitch, but he gives me no choice.
Sounds like the guy doesn’t get out much. You really shouldn’t feel bad about being rude. If he isn’t getting the polite, subtle hints, something drastic needs to be done. Of course, suffocating him will probably have a negative impact on your future employment. Unless other coworkers are just as annoyed and provide you with a rock-solid alibi.
Actually, come to think of it, the guy sounds like a former coworker of mine. Stalker? Check. Annoying laugh? Check. Unable to tell a female coworker is definitely not interested? Check. LOTR obsession? I don’t know, but probably.
