Knap my flint: Ancient phallus unearthed in cave

According to the BBC News here

20 cm – that’s about 8 inches. Not bad, fossil dude.

Caveman: “Honey, can I use the dildo tonight? I need some new arrowheads for the Big Hunt tomorrow”

The perfect lifestyle accessory for the woman whose husband is always out hunting mammoth …

You think there’s a market for replicas?

That’s great that the writer of the article put “tool” in quotes. Good one, Jonathan Amos!

I didn’t know they had batteries way back then.

I got a big black dick and it stays hard as a rock, because it is a rock.

Not unsually (if you know the way my mind works), I’ve been thinking about this all afternoon. And what’s occurring to me most is how cold that sucker would be (especially in the winter) without proper preparation. shiver

I really need to find other things to think about.

For example, one could keep it in one’s bum.

I thought that said slitstone.

In Cervaise’s case, that’s shitstone.

I guess getting stoned had a different connotation back then.

I often wonder about all these artifacts that were supposedly used for ‘symbolic’ or ‘ritual’ purposes - if the archaeologists/anthropologists were to be believed, ancient peoples would have had very little time for normal lives, what with all the ceremonial bowls, knives, chairs, etc they had to be using at every waking hour.

I find myself wondering if these ‘fertility symbols’ weren’t actually more directly used in connection with ‘fertility’ - as a sort of combination of pornography and sex-toy (for example, why does the Venus of Willendorf have a sort of ribbed head?)

Sometimes a flint knap is just a flint knap.

In which case, the question becomes: how did they find time to hunt, find shelter, invent the wheel, etc., when they were pleasuring themselves all the time?

Hell, if you have that many sex toys, who gives a crap about inventing the wheel?

Little or no artificial lighting; long dark nights (perhaps another reason why the features on these fertility dolls are all so exaggerated?)

Such a great article – I get more out of it every time I read it. What is the significance of the “tool” being highly polished? It’s mentioned twice. No doubt it was left to the women folk to do the polishing, no matter how laborious.

(bolding mine) Bless these people. Without them, we might not have the Double-headed Icy Blue Jelly Dongs :eek: :eek: that we take for granted today.

Sometimes they were. Statues of Priapus were made with large, erect penises. Worship of Priapus did involve female worshippers having sex with the statues.

IIRC Some male worshippers of Bacchus worshipped him by pleasuring themselves with dildos made from the wood of fig trees.

I’ve also read references to Kwan Yin being not only a fertility goddess, but a goddes of sex, and even a sacred whore. Accordingly, some images of her are intended to be pornography as well as devotional art. When dealing with a sex goddess, an erect penis, masturbation, and semen are all apropriate offerings.

Even in the old days, people took their partners for granite.

I always thought those were supposed to be cornrows. In fact, I’m going to continue thinking those were supposed to be cornrows.