Because there is no professional way to tell my coworker that she’s smokin’ hot in those jeans she’s got on today. Nope. Probably not a good idea to do that. Now if we were all cave-dwellers…wooo…
What are you talking about? If you’re tall and handsome, you could tell her perfectly straightforwardly. And even squeeze her ass as punctuation.
The civilized thing to do would be to get her attention, then slip off your wedding ring and give her a wink & the ol’ come hither look. Chicks dig that kind of thing.
I thought it was going to be the pooping wherever you want thing.
Are you saying this is frowned upon? Ooops!
naw, it’s fine, as long as you keep your pinkies extended.
Just say, “I want to be professional and all, but what you do to those jeans is making me horny, so could you please remove them?”
Well, some say—
Bring a great big battleaxe with you to work. See if she’s impressed.
If she cooes “OOOOH! A Dwait bid manly battleaxe! Can I…feel…it?” Then, you’re Golden.
If not, they send for the SWAT Team & the Cookie Truck, & you make CNN.
So, either way…
I share this problem. However, it seems most of the time I notice how smokin’ hot a member of the female persuasion looks these days, it’s a woman born in a Spanish-speaking country and I can get their attention by the combination of (a) being obviously not Hispanic and (b) saying anything in Spanish and then showing an ability to follow a Spanish conversation. This works really well. It’s so worth learning the language!
A comparable plan is, indeed, one of my reasons for learning Japanese. 
Well, excpt for the wedding-ring thing. Much better not to have one, like me. 
Either you’re stalking my posts or this is a mighty coincedence. See, she is Mexican by birth and I started a post about learning Spanish, half-jesting the reason would be so I could get with her.
Anyways, I took care of the OP situation in classic Inigo style. via e-mail. Went something like:
“Would it be considered unprofessional if I were to tell you that YOU LOOK DAMN FINE TODAY!!!”
“Would that stop you?”
“Probably not.”
“Then go ahead.”
“YOU LOOK DAMN FINE TODAY!!!”
“Why thank you , sir.”
There’s only a few people in the world can get away with a stunt like that.
Nice.
Mighty coincidence, in fact. But send me an email if you want some help with your Spanish.
Naw, just sit there and lick your eyebrows.
Works every time.
I’m reminded of the time at a previous job when they put [del]free CD players[/del] networked PCs in all the cubicles, and the woman who connected the cables was a curly headed blond in tight jeans (think Donna Douglas back in the golden age). For about fifteen minutes I and the guy next to me got to watch an attractive set of buttocks sticking out from under our desks.
“you make me wish I weren’t gay” sounds like it would get a fun response.
Heh…from her or from me? I’ve wondered sometimes if she’s not a closeted lipstick lesbian. No matter. She’s still a lot of fun to be around.
Pretend you’re gay and say it. Problem solved.