KREEGAH! BUNDOLO! I am full of HOLY CHOCOLATE!

Cafe Society
1

Happy Feaster, everyone! As everyone knows, Feaster is the secular holiday celebrated on the Monday following Easter Sunday, when all the holiday-themed chocolate is marked down.

I gots me the candy eggs. I gots me the chocolate eggs. I gots me the eggs with the weird yolk-resembling sugary mucus inside that you don’t even know what it is. (Oh, it’s “creme.” Right. Obviously. That’s wonderfully appetizing, Cadbury.) Jelly beans, marshmallow carrots. I am positively laden with incomprehensible ex-pagan solstice symbolism rendered in saccharine form.

However, I admit that I have historically been reluctant to indulge in that most iconic of Easter sweets: the chocolate rabbit. I am not sure exactly why this is-- after all, I am happy to eat actual previously live animals, so gnawing on a cartoon version sculpted out of partially hydrogenated vegetable oil shouldn’t present a problem for me. Maybe on some level, the inevitable hollow center reflects the painful disappointment and hollowness of my own wretched existence. Or maybe it’s just the notion that, to somebody out there, chocolate rabbits are no doubt the furry equivalent of those pornographic novelty cakes. Whatever the reason, I avoid them.

But this year I am saved! Saved, I tell you! For the local grocery store is awash in a confection EVEN BETTER than chocolate rabbits! I refer, of course, to CHOCOLATE CRUCIFIXES. Yeahhh boyee!!! Even now my spirit is engorged with the lecithin-emulsified grace of Christ the Redeemer.

Admittedly, much as the communion wafer is indifferently palatable compared to other baked goods, the Holy Chocolate Crucifix of Our Lord is somewhat questionable judged purely as chocolate. But such is the miracle of transubstantiation. Surely the mildly gritty texture embodies the strength of faith, or perhaps the bones of saints or something. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s best not to think about it too much.

Lo, I am a goddamn cocoa butter-fueled Catholic juggernaut! Vampires and demons be warned! Fear my wrath, for I am righteously stoked on a diet of sweet, sweet Jesus.

2

I have been quite righteous today, staying off of my diet for one extra day, to be sure the chocolate got consumed and was not around to tempt me into sin, when I resume my diet tomorrow.

I gotta admit though, a chocolate crucifix is kind of disturbing. But to each their own, there’s plenty of other chocolate out there. Unlike Terrifel I have absolutely no problem eating chocolate rabbits. Gotta keep them from multiplying like bunnies.

3

I meant to go to the store today for Feaster goodies but I got sidetracked. I hope there’s still some left tomorrow, I must get some peeps and cadbury chocolate eggs. Everyone else can help themselves to all the creme eggs, I’m not crazy about mucus filled candy.

4

My brother was tempted to bite a small hole in the backside of my son’s hollow chocolate bunny, and when the boy noticed, he was going to tell him, “You know, rabbits have to ‘go’ sometimes, just like the rest of us…in fact, this bunny was solid when we bought him…” :smiley:

5

I work at home – my office is on the third floor, so when the doorbell rings, there had better be a damn good reason for me to trek down there.

The doorbell rings yesterday, and out my window I can hear the laughter of little kids. I figure it’s the same bunch of them who come around a few times a year looking to do yard work to make a few bucks. I was going to go down and have them do some clean-up (hey…they only charge a buck an hour…), when I hear then knocking on my neighbor’s door as well.

“Hi, we’re selling candy to raise money for <whatthehellever>”…

Ummm…it’s the day after Easter. Do you really think it’s the best day do go out and try and sell candy? Sheesh…we’ve got more than enough around here today, thanks.

Glad I didn’t answer the door.

6

My problem with half-price chocolate rabbits, eggs, etc., is the massive sugar content and low quality chocs. I’m a chocolate addict, but I’m afraid I’ve become a bit of a snob about it.

But man, it’s been a long time since anybody I know has shouted Kreegah! Bundolo! There’s nothing I’d like more than to see those terms come back into general use.

7

i am gathering and hording all the cadbury mini eggs i can. i scored appx. 80 oz of cadbury goodness today and i am off to do a “plague of locust” run on all the cvs, rite aid, and walgreens i happen upon tomorrow.

i have until april 27th to hunt and gather. forget 50% off, i may get lucky and get 10 pounds of cadbury at 90% off like i did for christmas!

8

I got Cadbury Easter cream eggs, 60 cents each, at the grocery store tonight. There were many other sale-price choices, including unknown-name brands all the way up to Lindt, but I settled for just the Feaster eggs. Mmm… and it was good. So far, I’ve only eaten one. I’m very proud.

9

i saw 3 chocolate crosses on the 50% off table. i just said “no” and searched for the mini eggs.

10

I meant to post to this same effect, but you beat me to it. We’re talking 60’s or 70’s in my case, and a friend named Terry and his brother Don made almost daily reference to Tarzan comics terminology. (I don’t recall a Tarzan movie using these specific words, where “Umgawa” (sp?) was the favored utterance).

Noting the username in the OP gave me a momentary chill to think Terry would be posting here. If he does, I’m blown away. If not, chalk this whole post up to serendipity/synchronicity or just ignore it.

11

Easter day, I was thinking how much I loved Reese’s PB eggs, and that I wished I had scored some. Lo - 50% off the next day! Yay! And a Cadbury Caramel egg at 50% off as well!

Susan