Ladder To Success

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ladder to Success

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and very ugly woman.

“Take me now or climb the ladder to success” she said.

No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye.

“Take me now or climb the ladder to success” she said.

“Well”, thought the man, “might as well carry on”.

On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive.

“Take me now or climb the ladder to success” she uttered.

As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.

On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot.

“Take me now or climb the ladder to success” she flirted.

Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again.

When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.

“Who are you?” the man asked.

“Hello” said the ugly fat man said, “my name’s Cess!”

Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

2

I don’t see how, by any stretch of the imagination, Cess can be a man’s name.

3

Neither do I, but it struck a chord with me, being my name.

Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

4

Maybe the fat Cess is a hermaphrodite? And that just made me think of a rather odd question.

Can a hermaphrodite be a cross-dresser?

Here’s mud in yer eye!
Yer pal, UncleBeer.

5

UncleBeer, stop! My brain is hurting now.

Why don’t you send the question in to Cecil?

6

Uh, guys? You do know the British pronunciation of Cecil, don’t you?

7

Interesting… in my mind, I’ve always pronounced it “Seh-sul”. How do y’all Yankees pronounce it then? “See-sul”?

Coldfire

"You know how complex women are"

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
8

Hmmm, never thought about it Cold - but I guess it could be “Ces sil”. Being an American I just assumed it was “Cee sil”. Guess someone should e-mail him and ask

“Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.” - William Blake

9

Some old saw about ‘thin ice’ is springin’ to mind here, but for some reason I can’t seem to recall the whole thought.
Dr. Watson
“That now are wild, and do not remember
That sometime they put themselves in danger
To take bread at my hand.” – Sir Thomas Wyatt