Ladies: Am I good in bed?

[Santo_Rugger]

@Zebra

Well I may not be good in bed but I’m pretty good on roller coaster.

Is it possible for one to be bad on a roller coaster?

[Mangetout]

@HazelNutCoffee

And I agree with the ladies above - some teasing as foreplay is fine, but pull something like that and, dude, I will bitch-slap you with my vibrator.

To be fair to the OP (who I agree, is bragging, or something), I think he’s describing something other than teasing - I think he’s talking about not rushing headlong through it all.

Granted, what he’s describing might not be your cup of tea (but it sounds like he’s adaptable - too adaptable, in fact, for me to believe that he really means, or cares about, any of it).

[jjimm]

@Santo Rugger

Is it possible for one to be bad on a roller coaster?

If you barf everywhere you would be. Same applies to in bed too, I guess.

[Santo_Rugger]

@jjimm

If you barf everywhere you would be. Same applies to in bed too, I guess.

Some people like that sort of thing. I don’t, because the fun seems to disappear once the barf cools down.

[ForumBot]

@eleanorigby

And the whole silk sheet thing and “traveling the world to find the right ones” and all that–including music? Um, no thanks. Really. And you are so not going to “hit me, doggy style”–I don’t mind the doggy style, it’s the “hit”. I know you’re not actually going to hit me, but the attitude sucks. How about we go to bed together, eh? You’re not “hitting”, “scoring” etc anything–it’s anyONE (which you won’t be if you continue to refer to it like that.) Whatever you’re into is fine, but I won’t be joining you. Some girls may think that it’s great. More power to 'em.

Smoove B sends his apologies:

If you would tell me what angered you, I could make it better, either by correcting my error or by treating you in so sensual a manner that you would forget all about it.

If you remove that scowl from your beautiful face, Smoove will make everything right. Let me put on a D’Angelo CD, and I will pull you close, and we’ll slow-dance on my white bearskin rug. The fire is still going, so it will be romantic. While we are grooving together slowly, I will whisper into your ear and say things like, “Mmm, I love the way you move,” or “Your embrace feels like heaven to me,” or “You have beautiful calf muscles.” Or I may sing song lyrics in your ear. Whatever I choose, you will be overcome with emotion and desire for me.

You look so fine when you’re upset. I want to get freaky with you right now on the kitchen counter. Please give it to me.

[eleanorigby]

:rolleyes:
I’m going to call Smoove’s mother and have her come pick him up. It’s past curfew.

[Shamozzle]

@eleanorigby

Bless you, Aangelica. I agree–that’s not about sharing pleasure; that’s a power trip for the guy. I’m not your monkey.

Well certainly a guy needs to know if his partner actually likes that sort of thing. If she didn’t like something, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it. I’ve been red-flagged before for various things. She’ll say, “Don’t do that” and I’m like, “Gotcha”.

As for the suggestions that my OP was a veil to brag or fish for compliments, it’s not like that. I’m relatively inexperienced as I’ve only had four partners and I’m 36 years old. I was in two long term-relationships and I was faithful (gladly) during both. There’s 15 years right there. If we are counting “fooling around” then make that perhaps a dozen women total in my whole life.

I’m single right now and not really into casual sex at all and I haven’t had sex in a while. My career is crazy and I was transferred to a city where I literally know nobody. I’m so busy I have no time to build a social network or have/develop a healthy relationship with someone. So there I was sitting there thinking, “Man, it’s been so long, I wonder if I still know how to do it? Am I actually any good at it? I think I am, but doesn’t every guy? I know, I’ll ask The Dope!” It was half-meant in fun anyway.

@eleanorigby

…SNIP
I have a few questions about stuff that you failed to mention:

Are you reasonably hygienic? Teeth have been brushed in the last 8 hours, you don’t leave skid marks on the bed?

If I’m anticipating intimacy then I’ll go and brush my teeth right before. It’s an automatic habit and I do out of courtesy. I also shave cause ladies despise stubble burn. I keep my nails short and clean as well as they’ll be in some pretty private places. I also take my watch off so it doesn’t get caught in her hair. All of this is just common courtesy IMO.

@eleanorigby

Do you have all your teeth? Are any of them gold?

All my teeth, no gold.

@eleanorigby

Do you live with your mother? Is there a picture of her on your bedside table? (if there is, she’d better be dead)

I live on my own. No pics of my Mom on the dresser.

@eleanorigby

Do you have an exotic pets? Fido or Mittens is fine, but if you’re into boa constrictors or capybaras, a woman needs to know ahead of time.

No crazy pets.

@eleanorigby

Do you own condoms? Do you use condoms?

Condoms are cool. They just make sense. Later on, when you know and trust each other, then you can lose them.

@eleanorigby

What happens if you get so far, say to third base and she changes her mind?*

That’s fine, I don’t have a problem with it at all. This has happened to me before and I really can’t complain about it as a woman isn’t required to justify herself to me. Her decisions are hers. Spending time with one another is about respect, not about being a dickhead.

[eleanorigby]

No offense meant–go find a relationship already!

[TokyoBayer]

The only true way of knowing if you are good in bed is if she asks you to teach her husband a few tricks. Then you know you’re good.

What? That never happened to you?

OK, it’s never happened to me, but I always figured that would be how to tell, if one needed to know.

[joyfool]

@freekalette

…faithfool I swear you’re me from the future!

Awww. C’mere little sister. < noogies >

[Heffalump_and_Roo]

@Shamozzle

Sometimes it’s minutes, sometimes it’s a lot longer. Whatever we’re into at the moment. I don’t know about hours and hours. If she wanted it, sure, but usually it escalates. We’ve been in bed for hours, but half of that is genuine lovemaking of assorted varieties and half of that is tickle fights, laughs and conversation.

OK, liking it so far.

@Shamozzle

Is “lovemaking” a cheesy word?

No, but cheesy is a cheesy word. You can definitely take that one out of the lexicon.

Love is always a good word. Making it can’t be bad.

@Shamozzle

If I want something different than she does at any given moment, it’s all about her. I’m very easy to satisfy and I’m in no rush. I know I’ll get my mind blown in the end so the order doesn’t really matter to me.

OK, but don’t get the heads mixed up. That’s a very bad thing.

So, say we all agree that you’re good in bed. What are you going to do with this knowledge? Mental masturbation? Mind-blowing oneness?

[JHWT]

@Aangelica

Okay, I was going to leave this thread alone as either fishing or bragging, but I gotta say something about this:

This, in my world, is an incredibly fast way to get your ass kicked out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch. I do not find it even marginally entertaining. In fact, I find it supremely frustrating and, in fact, anti-sex. This is because when a partner does this to me, I stop thinking about the sex and start thinking about grabbing ahold of his most precious parts and twisting. It does not make my orgasm “better”. In my view, it’s a head game and a power trip. The first time a partner does this to me on purpose, we have a little chat. If he does it again, that’s it.

I just figured I’d speak up for those of us who hate this particular little maneuver.

OK, tell you what. You promise not to start masturbating me away from your mouth when I’m ready to orgasm, and I won’t ruin your orgasm with this ‘power-trip’ crap.

[Shamozzle]

@Heffalump and Roo

…SNIP So, say we all agree that you’re good in bed. What are you going to do with this knowledge? Mental masturbation? Mind-blowing oneness?

Nothing more than take satisfaction in the knowledge that I’m getting at least one thing right in my life…

[Heffalump_and_Roo]

@Shamozzle

Nothing more than take satisfaction in the knowledge that I’m getting at least one thing right in my life…

OK, well that just blew the whole deal right there for me. If you’re good in bed, that means that you’re doing lots of things right. . . like all the enticing stuff that happens before you get there. . .the whole emotional build-up, etc . So you can’t just be doing one thing right or the whole thing doesn’t work. So close though.

[Hostile_Dialect]

Actually, I find your style with kitchen instruments a bit cliched and uninspired.

[Radegast]

Oh Shamozzle! You are such a stud! Please baby, do me again! Yes! Yes! Yes! Just leave the $100 on the nightstand when you’re done, thanks…

[Aangelica]

@JHWT

OK, tell you what. You promise not to start masturbating me away from your mouth when I’m ready to orgasm, and I won’t ruin your orgasm with this ‘power-trip’ crap.

Tell ya what. Based on this post alone, I can assure you that this will not be a problem between us. Ever.

Also, since I’ve never actually done this to anyone, ever, nor suggested I might be inclined to do so, you can insert your suggestion into an appropriate orifice.

Thanks!

@Mangetout

To be fair to the OP (who I agree, is bragging, or something), I think he’s describing something other than teasing - I think he’s talking about not rushing headlong through it all.

I agree with you, it’s just that I’ve been intimate with some gentlemen who had difficulty telling the difference between “not rushing” and “playing that particular head game” - or were operating under the notion that the enforced delay somehow served to make my orgasm more pleasureable. No idea where that notion came from, but on the off chance the OP was harboring it, I figured I’d mention for the record that not all ladies appreciate that particular technique Fighting ignorance and all

[JHWT]

@Aangelica

Tell ya what. Based on this post alone, I can assure you that this will not be a problem between us. Ever.

Also, since I’ve never actually done this to anyone, ever, nor suggested I might be inclined to do so, you can insert your suggestion into an appropriate orifice.

Thanks!

I must have stepped into the pit. You misinterpreted my post as an attack on you when I was just trying to relate to your frustration, and tie it off with a "how YOU doin’?’ moment. I must suck at being smooth.

[fisha]

@JHWT

I must have stepped into the pit. You misinterpreted my post as an attack on you when I was just trying to relate to your frustration, and tie it off with a "how YOU doin’?’ moment. I must suck at being smooth.

Yes.