Since Thanksgiving is coming up (in a neighborhood near me!), I thought I’d be all contemplative and stuff and say what I’m Thankful for. Like how I’m thankful that my family is relatively healthy and everyone has a job, and I live in a nice house and we have food to eat and junk like that. But then something happened. So now I won’t.
You know what happened? I chipped my tooth. Man! Nothing makes you less thankful for stuff than a chipped tooth. It was one of my molars too. Up top. Not my most favorite tooth, but still, a good one. You know how I chipped it? Eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Go figure. I chip one of my molars eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Unless it was the Doritos. But I figure it was my grilled cheese. Maybe I missed a bone when I was putting the cheese on or something. I should pay more attention to food preparation.
You’d think me having a chipped molar would be good enough for a whole post, not just a piddly little paragraph. Well, normally it would. But then… it happened…
“You know what would look nice?” asked the Little Woman.
“Genie pants?” I guess.
“Putting Christmas lights up around the porch,” she says like I never said nuthin’.
We’ve never had to put Christmas lights up before. I was a little proud of that fact. But hubris will bring your downfall as surely as something really sure. So this year, it’s Christmas lights. Just a little string up around the porch. That was the plan. Or at least the plan I was told. But look! We have an extra string of outside lights! What are the odds of that happening? And wouldn’t you know it? Extra light hangers! Huh. So “around the porch” became "around the porch and in front of the house and down the garage ". OK, fine., But we’re done, right? Yeah, sure. We’re done for now.
It wasn’t two hours before someone (and I’m not naming names here) noticed we have an outlet on the back porch. You know what would go great with that outlet? More Christmas lights! Not that I was surprised in the least. I can remember when we just had one Christmas tree. Now it’s the Main Tree and the Emergency Back-up Tree and the Little Trees in the boys’ rooms. I’m holding out against having a tree in our room, but this year, with the new house, we might have room. How would I know if we have room for another Christmas tree? One will magically appear to fill the Christmas tree sized void in the room. Even if I have to move furniture to create a Christmas tree sized void in the room.
I’d put more, but I’ve been trying to get ahold of my dentist for the past half hour. They say:
A) the office opens at 7:30 (it’s just after 8:00 here now)
aaaaaannnd
2. “We are not open right now. If it’s a true emergency, you should look up another dentist in the phone book!”
Things are not going as well as I’d hoped.
-Rue.