Is anyone else deja vu-ing here? Looks like Joe and Bob should get together over drinks and see what happens! 
(This thread is all kinds of evidence that people don’t read the whole thread before posting. To wit: the OP is the guy who said the dumb thing, not the woman, and it all happened a decade ago, not last weekend, and comparing dick size isn’t the same as general, non-sexually acquired information like overall attractiveness.)
In terms of how that sort of thing sticks in my brain, it’s about the same. Comparing me to another woman is the same as me comparing you to another man, incredibly inappropriate and offensive. I can only speak for myself, but that’s how I feel about it. And knowing how sensitive men are about their precious cocks, an insult to the cock is on par with an insult (or as some are calling it, “a thinly veiled compliment”) to a woman’s appearance.
Joe’s free tomorrow night. He says please tell Bob that he’s tall and handsome with a great smile, and he loves cuddling up on the couch with that special someone, rescuing baby seals, and long walks on the beach.
Shall we say 7:30?
I thought of this thread last night. We were watching TV, and I made some comment about how it was refreshing to see a commercial where the husband wasn’t a drooling idiot man-child, and the woman wasn’t a shrill harpy bitch.
My husband: “True, they’re nothing like reality.”
Me: “For starters, I am not a shrill harpy bitch.”
Him (sincerely agreeing with me): “Aw, honey. You’re never shrill.”
Then there was this pause while his goofy loving smile transformed into chagrin at what he’d just implied, and we both cracked up. Good times.
And to answer the OP, though it’s already been thoroughly done, your wife is being VERY unreasonable in holding against you what I believe was a misguided attempt at a compliment. Especially for 10 years. My own reaction probably would have been instant hurt that I’d be careful NOT to show my husband, and then genuinely get over it and laugh with him about it the next day.
I read this OP, and immediately found my wife, gave her a big hug, and said “thanks for not being Evil.”
Shame on you.
Her. Shame on her. black rabbit’s the dude in question.
Sheesh.
Gah. Sorry, the misbegotten she-witch in the OP clouded my mind.
Shame on her.
(Shame the SO, not 10-years-forgotten cow-orker.)
I agree. They’re both things either gender tends to get touchy about and the last thing they want to hear in the bedroom.
And just to clarify, I wouldn’t be ok with option C. If you are going to forge ahead with the relationship, forget it and move on. But I wouldn’t think it out of line to break up over something like that, especially if it was a relatively new relationship. It would be a real indication that I was with the wrong guy.
This is a hijack, but no it doesn’t. It just means that you’re not around at that particular moment. I don’t understand this leap, but it seems to be one that a lot of women make.
Why, I’m curious, does it have to be either/or? Why can’t one enjoy Monday sex as a purely one-on-one experience, focusing entirely on one’s partner, her look, her sounds, her tastes, and then enjoy Tuesday sex with a bit of fantasy in mind, and then enjoy Wednesday sex similar to Monday’s, and then, on Thursday night, when one’s partner is visiting mom, watch some porn? Doesn’t seem like hard work to me, nor does it seem like anything’s missing.
On the other hand:
I agree with this. Diogenes, unless you are capable of fairly extraordinary feats of telepathy, the only person in the entire world whose coital thoughts are known to you are your own. You don’t know what most men are thinking about during sex; you don’t even know what two men are thinking about during sex. Not every man is fantasizing about everything but his wife every time he has sex with his wife; I have definitive proof of this.
But you’re still comparing apples to oranges.
Saying “Bob is probably bigger than you, but I’d rather be with you anyway” is akin to saying “Suzie is hotter than you, but I’d rather be with you anyway.”
That’s not what was said in the OP.
“Suzie is hot, but I’d rather be with you,” is meant to imply that “you” are hotter than “Suzie.” I’m surprised so many people aren’t getting that. The idea is not that he’s settling for you, it’s that, yeah, Suzie’s hot, but she’s not a patch on you, baby.
It’s a clumsy compliment, but it is definitely intended to be a compliment.
That’s not how I (or others in this thread) interpret it. The key word is ‘but’.
Why?
Suzie is hot, but I’d rather be with you.
Shrimp is tasty, but I’d rather eat lobster.
Spaceballs is a funny movie, but I’d rather rent Young Frankenstein any day.
Don Mattingly was a good first baseman, but I’d rather have Keith Hernandez.
The inclusion of the word “but” doesn’t change the obvious meaning of each of these sentences: that lobster is more tasty than shrimp, that Young Frankenstein is funnier than Spaceballs, that Keith Hernandez was better than Don Mattingly (and he was), and you are hotter than Suzie.
I mean, you can choose to interpret any collection of words any way you want. You can choose to decide that the correct interpretation of “I’m out of paper clips” is I hate you. But I’m with WhyNot; the best and most useful interpretation of something someone says is the one that person most likely intended. If you want to use semantic quibbling to read a sentence that the speaker meant in one way in a different way, one in which he never intended, then you’re going to have a frustrating time trying to communicate.
So you believe the message intended was “I think you’re hotter than Suzie”?
My take on it is “Suzie is hotter than you in looks, but you beat Suzie in all other departments and I’m happier being with you”
See, I would have guessed he intended to mean: “Suzie is hot, yes, perhaps even hotter then you, but you have many fine qualities, milady, which far surpass her meager, paltry, probably surgically enhanced charms…and it maketh me grateful unto my dying day that you have deigned to let me approach you in so amorous a manner. I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy.”
I mean, if you’re going to make it mean whatever the hell you want, why not pick something GOOD?!
Hijack again, but there are guys who like to look at porn even when their partners ARE around, and the amount of sex they’re having isn’t necessarily a factor either. I think it’s more about variety than simply a subsitution for the real thing. That would go back to why some women feel hurt that they aren’t “enough.”