Am I the only one who’s heard men referred to as sleazy for their perceived promiscuity?
Well excuuuuuuuuse me. Good day then. :rolleyes:
On the off chance you’re serious about that shit, Steophan:
Where does this “having not known me for any length of time” come from? The woman in the article linked to in the OP was her untrustworthy ex-boyfriend’s partner for three years. Is she then blameless, or is does that then just mean that she must have been extra, stupid for trusting blithely for so long in someone who turned out to be such a tremendous shit?
At what point does it become apparent to you that there is literally no positive sociological outcome that can possibly come from people voicing sentiments like yours, above, that victims of this particular socio-sexual crime are “stupid”?
Yep.
I’m still waiting to know if my pics for the gynecologist are “stupid,” or does it only count if I was slutty enough to have fun with my pics?
Yes, women often come down hard on promiscuity. But what’s happening here is different. This is the phenomena where some guys feel like if a woman has expressed sexuality (or is perceived to have), then she has lost her right to control that sexuality. That willfully being sexual outside of some narrow set of constructs automatically means that you have to do that for everyone. That if I have relations with Mark, Dave and Chris, I have no right to complain when Rick insists I have sex with him, too.
Its the same as the countless threads about how it’s not fair that you can’t catcall, grope, harass, or assault a women who has had sex, flirted, or even existed while sexy.
Nope, it happens quite often. Usually what is specifically criticised is when men lie about wanting relationships to get a shag, rather than having mutually understood one night stands.
She let a guy keep copies of naked pictures when she broke up with him? Stupid. The change that can come? Not letting people keep naked pictures of them when they break up with them. It’s not complicated.
Look, when you allow a picture or recording of anything to be made it’s potentially public, whether you like it or not, and whether it’s legal or not. This applies to much more than nude or sexual pictures. Plenty of people are losing out on jobs because of photos on Facebook of them partying, or whatever. The sociological change that will come is people realising this.
(Oh, and I think there’s a couple of naked pictures of me out there somewhere. Not that that’s anything I expect anyone wants to see, but if they do fair play to them).
Not complicated? Have you ever used a computer? Because digital data doesn’t work like that. There’s no single paper photo that she can go in and physically reclaim - it’s a digital image that can be transferred to any number of computers, stored online, saved in emails, etc. There’s no way for her (or anybody) to even try to do this.
This is all beside the point that it’s not her responsibility to do that - it’s his responsibility to be a decent human being.
There is literally nobody posting in this thread who doesn’t understand that private things can sometimes be made public. This isn’t some hidden truth that people are going to suddenly realize, and your “sociological change” is a ship that’s already sailed. At its core, this thread isn’t about digital data - it’s about a gross violation of trust. The OP started out blaming the person whose trust was violated instead of the person who violated that trust.
It’s not beside the point, it is the point. If you let someone digitally photograph or record you, assume it’s public.
Yes, he should be a decent human being. Yes, it’s probably illegal, and he might go to jail for it. None of that matters, though, as the photos are still out there. Not everyone is a decent person, and when deciding what to do in life, one should take that into account.
Again, here we have the lazy conflation of common sense warning = victim blaming. The “core” of this thread is very much about the risks involved in distributing easily disseminated digital data. Doing a lot of arm waving about gross violations of trust without also focusing on the precautions you can undertake to keep from being placed at risk is kind of pointless as the media is already disseminated at that point.
Seems like someone here was very angry, indignant, and vociferously offended when women take precautions to protect their safety. I wonder if anyone can remember who that was?
Just wondering, astro, where the <strike>blame</strike> common sense warning is for those men who share nude photos with their SOs? Or where is the advice to the people who would share such photos in a fit of vengeance along with personal contact info for their ex on some shady site? Have you no misplaced concern for their well-being?
I’ve read through this thread and have seen many posters asking you some relevant and thoughtful questions, pretty much all of which you have neglected to answer. Why is that?
I was rather annoyed when you suggested you had the right to threaten any passing man on the grounds he might be dangerous. I’m all for people, regardless of genital configuration, taking responsibility for their own safety as much as possible, as the only person’s actions you can control are your own.
To take an analogy from the thread to which you refer, refusing to be photographed by someone is fine. Pepper spraying them on the grounds that they are carrying a camera and might potentially photograph you is not.
I doubt you’ll get the distinction though, you failed to in the other thread.
Indeed. Two questions in particular stick in my mind.
One was about the statistical likelihood for a picture to be posted without consent. Surely that would be a major factor in estimating the danger level and appropriate level of precaution.
The other was about the difference between this situation and allowing a boyfriend access to your purse (and I would add another example, taking a job that requires you to walk through a parking lot at night). In the purse example, we don’t see people blamed for being robbed. In the job example, we don’t see women being told they are stupid to take a job. So is the difference just that this involves sex, and women don’t have the same right to be sexual that they do to work or possess money?
Yeah Steophan, you think that merely possessing pepper spray is “threatening” and assumed that men who post intimate photos to revenge porn sites do so because their slutty SOs cheated on them so… not really confident in your ability to pass accurate or fair judgement in situations involving human interaction.
Wait, what? I’ve not only not had this happen to me, I haven’t had anything remotely similar happen to me. Is this actually common?
Same here. It’s never happened.
Everybody assumes their experience is normal…
I hope to Og you are right because I have one video I sent to a college bf that I would be embarrassed if it got on the internet. Eek
Stop posting lies about me. I specifically said in that thread that keeping a weapon on your person for self defence is fine, and in some cases the best option. I also said that it’s both wrong and illegal to preemptively threaten people, no matter what you threaten them with, nor the genitals possessed by you and them.
Again, stop posting lies about me, and learn to read.
I stated (correctly) that men only care about who a woman is sleeping with if it’s their partner, and that it’s women who do most slut-shaming. Because that’s what I see in real life, and indeed it’s what I see in this thread.
I’ve made no comments about the motivations of the person posting the photos, as it’s not relevant. It’s wrong, it’s illegal, he’ll be punished, and that will in no way help the victim.
Once again, saying someone was stupid to put themselves in a position where they could become a victim isn’t blaming them. It’s calling them stupid. They’d be stupid even if they didn’t become a victim, and their victimhood doesn’t change the stupidity. If I leave my door open and my computer is stolen, I’m stupid. If you let me store naked photos of you on it that you don’t want made public, you’re stupid. Get it yet?
Do you have a list? I mean, I trusted the waitress at the restaurant this evening with my credit card. If she stole the number and is racking up a huge bill, do I deserve to be blamed? If I go outside tomorrow to my apartment’s parking lot and find my car window smashed in and the stereo missing, is it in some way my fault for trusting that people would leave my car alone?
Telling remark.