Tom, surely you grasp that in a hypothetical, all elements are identical other the ones that are specified not to be. If you (or Debb, actually) would shoot down Brad Pitt by saying “Piss off, ugly twerp” then you may assume that you’d say the same thing to me, and Brad or I would follow up in the same exact manner, etc. What the OP posits is that the main (or sole) variable is the outward appearance of the man, then maybe the ladies would like to dial back the outrage a little bit, and apply the standards of outrage they would apply to their ideal male behaving the same exact way. I’d suggest the same with the genders reversed, though that’s far less common. Imagine a guy sitting at a bar being approached by a beautiful woman whom he’s not interested in (let’s suppose his jealous wife is in the ladies room, and he’s terrified of her reaction). I’m trying to suggest that whatever his manner of dissuading the strange but beautiful lady, it should be in line with his emotional response if the lady were considerably less lovely. If he has a neutral response to her “Buy me a drink, mister?” (like, “Not interested, Miss. Sorry. Could you please leave me alone?”) why is so hard to apply the same level of outrage to the homely woman who does the same exact thing, instead “You ugly whore, get the fuck away from me, I’ll call the cops. How dare you! Bartender, what kind of place is this, anyway?” etc. etc.?
BTW, ladies, I’ve posted a photo of me (my old college ID photo) for those of you claiming I must be copping the attitude you assume I am here because of my repulsiveness. This was taken at my peak of bachelorhood–I’ve lost some hair, and gained some weight and wrinkles in the 30 years since, but I’ve also been married or in a happy LTR since then for the most part, so, as Robert Wilson says, “You wouldn’t like to drop my beauty as a topic, would you?” (that’s from ‘The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber’ by Hemingway, whom I’m told I resemble somewhat these days.)