The other night I met a nice woman at a local bar. She was there with her coworkers as part of a holiday party. She asked me to sing with her and I did. She had inquired if either of the two women I was with were my girlfriends. I told her no and she seems to get closer (physically) to me during the song.
At the end of the night I thanked her for asking me to sing with her and I told her I’d hope to see her again at karaoke. She asked me if I’m at this place usually on that night and I said yes.
Because I know where she works, and our local paper www.app.com has a list of everyone who works there (it’s a public record) if I sent her a letter at work telling her that I would like to ask her out for drinks do you think that would freak her out or should I just wait to see if she shows up at the bar again the next few weeks?
Some guy Googled me and sent me an email with an innocuous comment (“So you like photography? I saw the photo of the temples you took and…”). It sent a chill up and down my spine just knowing he was “researching” me.
Wait and see if she shows up. If you really are a regular there, she can show up with a girlfriend or two and hang out with you. It’s holiday time, so it may take until the new year for her schedule to ease out, so don’t freak out if she doesn’t show up the next couple of weeks.
If she gave you enough information to readily contact her* without having access to special databases, then it’s fair game to contact her, though I think the wait plan is best. If you need to search out the information, don’t do it. Ever.
If she says “I work at Joe’s Pizza on Main St.” you can stop into Joe’s to say hi. If she says “I work at a pizza place” you can’t stop into every pizza joint in town hoping to bump into her.
When I give someone my email or phone, I’m giving them more than just the information they could probably look up anyway. I’m giving them permission to call and letting them know their contact is welcome.
She hasn’t done that yet. I agree it’s likely she will next time you see her, but let her do that before you jump the gun and scare off the quarry.
Too right - possibly go to the bar and ask the barman/maid a few questions about her, like ‘what night does she come in ?’ - that will feed back like lightning.
Don’t stalk, but don’t be surprized if she knows your inside leg measurement and the maiden name of your maternal grandmother.
If she is interested in you, she will be there. If not the first night, then the next week. If she is not present for two appointed nights, then she is not interested in you. In either case, you will know the answer. Don’t fuck it up because you are impatient.
This reminds me of my first date. I asked a girl for her number after I’d finished playing basketball, and I didn’t have a pen. So she said, “Well, why don’t you just get it from the Parish Directory?”
Plus - if you called her now you’d have to figure out how to interact over the holidays.
Another reason (in addition to the already sufficient ones) to wait.
I also want to say that the OP reminds me just a little of a bellhop I used to work with. He had a crush on a woman who worked the hot line in the kitchen and prepared the employee meals. He really wanted to talk to her, so he spent a couple days working on an opening line. What he came up with was “You know, I thought the meal was really good, but the macaroni salad could have been a lot spicier.” This would not only flatter her, but also show that he was a discerning consumer of employee meals, and that he enjoyed a spicier cuisine than his diet at the hotel would indicate. In his mind, I’m sure there were nearly endless constellations of conversations that would spring from this line. Finally, his moment came. He had two days off coming up, and she had three, having just worked nine straight. Unfortunately, when he went to return his dishes and make his move, she’d been sent back to the storeroom for inventory. He still hadn’t seen her when his shift ended. He thought about hanging around waiting for her at the kitchen door or the employee entrance, but that was against company policy and there were several managers who saw humiliating underlings as part of their compensation package. If she happened along as he was being humiliated, he would never be able to start a conversation with her. He considered waiting for her at her car, but I pointed out that if she saw someone hanging around her car, she would not even leave the building without a security escort, again resulting in humiliation or perhaps the possibility of the security guard contradicting him, and drawing him off into an unprofitable debate on the proper spiciness of macaroni salad (another observation that I made, because I am a helpful, helpful, helpful motherfucking bastard). Finally, he hit upon the solution, which I will spoil, for comic effect.
He decided to slip into her backseat, and wait until her shift was over. Then, he would wait until she was on the expressway, pop up and say “Hey Marian,….”
He would then continue…
You know, I thought the meal was really good, but the macaroni salad could have been a lot spicier.
Go to the building where she works and hang out in the lobby at lunchtime. When you see her coming out of the elevator to go get lunch, you can “bump into her”, and just breezily mention that you’re visiting a friend in the building, and “oh that’s right- you work here too!”. It’ll help if you have another friend with you. And the friend you’re visiting in the building? Art. Art VanDelay, of course.
Thanks for the replies. I’m hoping that her coworker sends me the pictures though E-mail I know she doesn’t normally go to karaoke here but I’m hoping she is in again.
