Just to clarify, there is pretty much no scenario in which a young woman would casually mention that she wasn’t dating anyone and wasn’t doing anything on Valentine’s Day, in which she wasn’t clearly inviting to be asked out, right? Assuming, just for the sake of argument, mind you, that the woman in question had been chatting with said guy for about 15 minutes and had an attractively energetic curiosity, a noticeable interest in art and music, and very, very black eyes?
I mean I realize it’s not LIKELY, but I’d like to know if it’s POSSIBLE. I mean, I feel bad about it, but I don’t feel bad enough. Yet.
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On an unrelated note, while waiting until later in the conversation to ask about personal info is great for avoiding awkwardness on a fumble, but leaves one vulnerable to having the other party have to run off to catch a bus . . .
Do you have any means to contact her? Find an event tomorrow or decide on something to do (dinner/movie/sport/boardgame marathon/whatever you think) and give her a call and ask her out. It’s not actually too late.
If you don’t have her number, do you have her email? Email her. If you don’t have her email, are you friends on Facebook? Message her privately.
Worst case scenario, you don’t date her on Valentine’s day. But you’re already not doing that, so what do you have to lose?
And if she doesn’t have a Facebook, you could try streaking a sporting event holding up a sign with your phone number and V-day invite to her, and hope to get on the news. That’s how we did it back in my day!
I don’t actually know her name, or have any way to contact her. She ran off for the bus before I got to that bit. Obviously an oversight on my part. I’m assuming she interpreted the lack of sally-forth as disinterest, which is not unreasonable.
Besides, I’m too lazy to be a stalker OR an 80’s movie romantic guy.
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Ah . . . no. Very dark irises. Caused by genetics, not punches. Jeez, am I coming off THAT creepy?
Sometimes that girl she looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a girl… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.
I don’t think it’s stalker-y to just wait for her. Grilling the other bus stop people for info about her would be creepy. But just waiting for her, one time, is fine. If she’s not there today, try again next Monday.
Please don’t. Guy waiting day after day with flowers on the chance he sees someone he spoke to once for 15 minutes = creepy.
If the reason you ran into her in the first place is that you left work 10 minutes later than usual because you had to finish something up, then by all means leave work 10 minutes later and glance around for her on the odd chance that happens to be her usual time to cross by the area. Likewise if it’s not your usual bus route because it’s 5 minutes longer…go ahead, use the bus route again.
But don’t wait for her. Don’t ask around for her. Don’t spend time just sitting there staring at the crowd in case she walks by. As usual, it’s a matter of degree - you can try and cross paths with her again, but don’t go there and wait every damn day. That’s just too intense for a 15 minute conversation with someone whose name you don’t even know. Keep in mind that she doesn’t know you either.
Leave the rom-com movie stuff out of it. Rom-com movies are movies… they are about as realistic in most cases as science movies (that is, not at all).
See - I disagree. I don’t think it’s stalkery to try and find her again. If he finds her and she’s not interested - then it’s stalkery if he persists. And like I said, stalkery if he quizes the bus stop people about her. But just to go and wait one time for her seems perfectly reasonable to me.
This. If Suburban Plankton hadn’t tried to find me again, bordering on stalking, but not creepy, we wouldn’t be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary this coming May.
You just need to drop it completely if you do find her again and she’s not interested.
