I had a friend back in my early college years. I had gone to Intermediate School with her but a different High School. We did keep in touch through a program we were in in HS. One night I tried to kiss her, well I succeeded but that ruined the friendship she grew instantly cold and we drifted apart.
I would occasionally see her around town and would say Hi in passing and she would say Hi. When I would have to go to the store she worked at and she was friendly i would chalk it up to one of the job requirements.
The other night I ran into her again at a store. I said hi while passing her and she stopped, gave me a hug and started talking. We chatted about old times for a few minutes ( less than 5) and she mentioned that she had to get going because her father was waiting for her to return with a movie he wanted. Then she gave me a hug again and walked away.
I almost called out her name and asked if she wanted to hang out one night but I didn’t. I’ve been regretting it since that night.
What I want to know ladies is would you find a letter saying something along the lines of "it was nice running into you the other night and if you would like to get together one night give me a call. " creepy.
I know in the past her phone # was listed under her father’s line so I can’t call information for it and I would be less nervous on paper than on the phone.
If the verdict is it might be too strange to get a letter like that then I will have to hope to run into her again.
Send her a Sunflower (they’re the flower of friendship and unusual - especially if you can find a non-traditional color) and a note letting her know how her warm reception brought back a lot of good memories of the friendship you both shared and you would enjoy catching up with her - “how about a cup of coffee at (name your place) on (date)?” Then leave your phone number and email address.
I’d skip mentioning ‘one night’ as that turns things more date-like and Significant. Make it something more obviously low-key (like ‘for coffee’ as mentioned above).
Being female, I wouldn’t find it creepy. Being a geek, I’d find it very cool that you took the time to actually write a letter. Flowers, I would find creepy, no matter what kind. I like your idea of just sending her a little note saying you enjoyed seeing her and wouldn’t mind seeing her again. If you want my advice on the wording, I’d say:
Keeps it light, non-creepy and puts the ball in her court. It doesn’t imply anything other than you’d like to see her again.
I’d agree with this. A goofy card that makes light of “Hey! It’s been ages! How the heck are ya doin’?” would be fine with a short note.
I’m a guy, but I got a note from an old (female) friend like that. She was as neutral as can be because she has a boyfriend and didn’t want to accidentally imply a romantic interest. I think she said something along the lines of: “I saw [some funny event] and that reminded me of [funny event we were in] and I got to wondering what ever happened to that goofy Cellphone guy?”
Flowers might be creepy though because it will imply a greater investment/interest.
Thanks for the replies. I’m going to ask my coworker to go through her old phone books and see if she had Deb’s number. If she did I will see if Google gives me an address for her.
Otherwise if I’m meant to get in touch with her again I will end up running into her at some place.
What kind of world is it when a nice gesture comes off as creepy? What’s fucked up is that it was my first response too… /sigh. I’d say do it. If she thinks it’s creepy, then fuck her.
She wants to renew the relationship in one form or another, so whether you send a nice note, flowers, or whatever, she’ll be thrilled and you’ll get a most encouraging response.
Don’t just sit there, do something before she finds someone else!!
You talked and you hugged. She wouldn’t have hugged you if she found you at all creepy. Either a note or a phone call would be flattering, not creepy, although I’d hold off on the flowers for now. Go for it!
A letter would be creepy, but I don’t think I very short note would be. Like, two sentences or so.
I think the creepy quotient goes up if it seems like you’ve been dominating someone’s thoughts or they hint that they’ve been preoccupied thinking about you. A very light note that’s friendly but only as profound as a "thank you " note, probably wouldn’t meet the creepy threshold.
I (if I were single, etc.) would be thrilled beyond words to receive such a sweet handwritten note from someone I had recently run into. In this age of email and cell phones, a written note is a treat to be cherished.
Love notes. Remember them?
Send her a nice light note as other have suggested and include your phone and email. And return address!
This is assuming that magic exists in the universe. If you are meant to be with her, there is still every possibility that you will never run into her again. It’s a big world, and staking your future happiness on random chance is a risky proposition.
If you do happen to run into her again, do not fail to say those three magic words that every woman wants to hear: “You got email?”
I had a guy send me a note after our first date and it completely creeped me out. All of my friends agreed that it was a weird thing to do and that I shouldn’t go out with him again.
So, while some people might feel that way, it’s not a safe assumption that everybody will.
The thing about “is this creepy” is that it COMPLETELY depends on two things and two things alone - the person receiving the attention and their PERCEPTION of the person giving the attention.
Coming home to find a message on your answering machine from a guy you spoke to in line at the grocery store who you were just being NICE to and was not very attractive, kind of smelled funny, and was in definate need of using his asthma inhaler regularly, and who got your name from the credit receipt you left behind - creepy.
Coming home to find a message on your answering machine from the really cute guy you spoke to in line at the grocery store and you gave your number to - not creepy
Coming home to find three dozen roses delivered from a guy you’ve been going out with for several weeks who you really really like - not creepy.
Coming home to find three dozen roses delivered from a guy you’ve been going out with for several weeks who you are about to dump - creepy.
Had you REALLY liked the guy, you would have thought the note was “sweet and old fashioned.” You certainly wouldn’t have needed to get consensus from your friends on creepy - you would have said “isn’t this romantic” and they would have said yes. What you likely said is “is this kind of creepy” and they said yes.
Personally, I always liked guys who erred on the side of casualness - no cards or flowers. I dated pre-email, but email is such a non-committment sort of way to have contact, as is the phone - as long as the message is “hey, it was great seeing you again and reminded me of how much fun we used to have. Want to get together sometime?.”
Contact I found really creepy: the guy who followed me home from my shift at the mall, the guy who got my phone number off the check I wrote at the store (he was the clerk), and the telemarketer who called me every night on his break from another city - obsessing over a woman he’d never met that was nice enough to say “Greenpeace isn’t in my budget this year.”
A short note would be sweet, not creepy. It puts the ball in her court, and she can decide whether or not to contact you. No flowers, though. Flowers imply romantic pressure.
