If you discovered that your husband, boyfriend, SO, etc. had been occasionally hiring the services of a motherly older women to hold him (on a couch) and (non-sexually) be a comforting mommy figure to him, while saying comforting things to him like “You poor, poor thing!”, and stoking his forehead while he poured out his heart to her like a worried little boy.
Would you feel betrayed by this scenario if it was completely non-sexual?
I just have to ask what prompted that question. :eek:
I wouldn’t feel betrayed exactly, but I would be pissed off that my husband was wasting his money buying mommy-time from some stranger.
I don’t know if I’d feel betrayed, but I’d be more than a little skeeved out by it. Enough so that it might be detrimental to the relationship.
That’s very vaguely creepy. Not sure I’d feel betrayed so much as completely icked out.
Put me in the squicked out category.
I don’t think I’d be mad at all. It would make me more curious than anything. If he didn’t want to share his reasons or feelings about it or it turned out to be something sexual or perverted, it would probably affect my relationship with him.
Sorry, I have to add an afterthought. Why would something like this cause people to be weirded out and have leering at live nude girls be perfectly normal? Not saying either is bad, I just think it’s strange that it’s possible that one is more acceptable than the other.
Well, I’m a man, but maybe I can answer anyway?
Yes, I’d feel, well, I don’t know if betrayed is the right word, but hurt. If my SO was paying for a false sense of intimacy and caring elsewhere (even non-sexual intimacy), I’d be worried for my relationship on a lot of levels. Unless it’s truly a mother thing, in which case I’d suggest my SO seek counseling instead of feeding her desire for mothering from strangers.
Totally creedped out, and depressed that it turned out my SO was such a pussy. I mean give me a freekin’ break. I’m a pathetic little girly girl, with a horrible illness, and I don’t need my mommy to pet my head.
I’m with **Mauvaise, Silver Fire, ** and Faeriebeth on this one. Ewwwwww.
Now you understand why Opus never gets any play.
Put me in the creeped out catagory. I’d also think “hey this person needs major counseling.”
Well, betrayed isn’t the word I would use. Disappointed, maybe? Confused, definitely. It would make me worry about his emotional health to the point of leaving the relationship.
And I second Muffin’s thought. Is there something you want to confess? Just tell Mommy… 
I would be extremely amused. I’d probably piss him off because I would be laughing too hard to stand up.
Why would I feel betrayed if he needs a mommy-figure in his life? I’m not his mommy, I’m not anybody’s mommy, and while I’d like to give him everything he needs, I’m not superwoman either.
I guess I would wonder why it had to be a secret–probably because he knows I’d laugh and laugh and laugh.
Betrayed, no. I would wonder why Mrs. Six would need something like this, given that her actual mother is here three times a week and would love to have a closer relationship with her.
Not betrayed, no. Confused, yes. I mean, I’m more than happy to listen and pour out sympathy at any time (unless, of course, he wants sympathy because I’m pissed at him.) And if he really wants sympathy from a mother figure rather than a wife figure, he’s got a mom who would also be happy to give him all kinds of sympathy. I’d wonder why he would spurn real emotional intimacy with people who love him in favor of false emotional intimacy with some stranger who’s in it for the money. And yes, I’d be hurt that my love and sympathy wasn’t good enough for him.
And I’d be skeeved out, frankly. Part of growing up is no longer needing Mommy to be your primary emotional support. Paying someone to pretend to be your mom and baby you and be your emotional support on a regular basis would seem to indicate an unwillingness or inabilty to be a full adult. Hell, most kids outgrow needing their mommies to baby them by the time they hit their teens. (Well, mostly. There are still moments when you’re feeling debilitated that you could use some babying. When I got sick my first semester of college and vomited till I thought I would pass out, all I wanted was for my mommy to come and get me so I could die in my own bed at home.) Needing that as an adult smacks of being emotionally stunted.
I’d be laughing too hard I think to feel betrayed. Definitely eeeked out by it though.
Not betrayed in any sexual sense, but probably hurt that he didn’t feel he could talk to me about it.
I wouldn’t fell betrayed, but I’d find it creepy and would need a long conversation about why.