Consider that you are essentially being the opposite of what is expected of you, and that would be what the OP was doing as well, in “being a pussy”. Does it sound so creepy now? Not to pick on you in particular, but my point is clear I hope.
I haven’t been involved either way with this kind of thing, but I know female dancers/strippers who have told me stories of having been paid impressive amounts of money by wealthy businessmen for basically just this kind of stuff. Any street whore will screw or give a headjob for $100, but men interested in this sort of thing will pay a lot more for a girl to roleplay well with them, and keep it all a secret. There’s a song by the Eurythmics titled “Sweet Dreams”…
~
Heh, I do believe this is the most I’ve ever been attracted to you. And I know that must creep you out as you’re not a big SHAKES fan. But hey there you have it…
Except for the holding and stroking how does this differ from psychotherapy - paying someone to listen to all your troubles and complaints and then validating you by acceptance and reassurance.
Put me in the “laughing too hard” and skeeved out category. Not feeling betrayed, just, “WHAT?”
You’ve got to tell us, astro—who is this person? You’ve got to know of someone who did this, or who wants to do this. This didn’t come from your own twisted imagination (I hope).
Thank you don’t ask I was about to say the same thing.
While I certainly wouldn’t want to hire my mother (or a close replica of even…she’s a nagger) I can’t see anything “creepy” about the OPs scenario of hiring someone to talk, therapists are hardly uncommon. Ok, the stroking, holding thing is maybe unusal but hardly freak territory.
People pay to be touched for non-“weird” reasons. If not then massages are out the window. People pay for pedicures and manicures. Personally I think pedicures are yuck. I would no more pay someone to touch my feet then I would fly to the moon. That probably makes me weird but that is what makes us all different (I have an anti-foot fetish :D).
The bloke in the OP is not “cheating” if you believe cheating is about sex. He’s not a liar because he admitted to what he was doing. He is just someone who needs somewhere else to talk about things. Not everyones cup of tea but hardly a crime.
I don’t think I’d feel betrayed at all. I’d ask what goes on during the appointments, but I wouldn’t begrudge him of something he needed.
My husband is able to give me most of what I need. But his personalility doesn’t allow for some things (non sexually speaking). I have the luxury of having a male best friend who can fill the holes, so to speak. In fact, hubby went to work early yesterday morning, and I called my best friend over because I was feeling like absolute shite. He came over and let me snuggle up to him on the couch. He babied me, which is something I needed but my husband is clueless about. My husband is absolutely cool about it. He trusts me, he trusts my friend. He knows there’s no “funny business” going on.
Getting back to the OP: In general, I am very caring and sympathetic and if he needs it, I will hold him on the couch, stroke his hair and comfort him. If he were to need a different “style” of non sexual, motherly comfort, I don’t think I’d be adverse to letting him have it. So long as it doesn’t drive some kind of wedge between us.
We communicate our needs to each other, but we know our individual limitations. If we find friends who fill in the gaps, the more satisfying our lives as people and as a couple will be.
Good question. I think it’s because grown men are expected, socialized, to always like a nekked woman as eye candy every now and then, but not to want to revert back to childhood in such a severe (IMO) way. Maturity issue I suppose.
Plus, it’s faster, cheaper, and more effective. I mean, at least with strippers. I have no idea about the effectiveness of old women. Oh, and not, generally, covered by insurance.
I can occasionally “mother” my husband when he needs it.
I would assume there are deeper issues he wasn’t facing but was using this tool instead to cope, without my knowledge. Not letting me be aware would be a problem.
Well, judging from the reactions here (extreme laughter to disgust and exclamations of “why are you such a pussy!?”) the hypothetical SO might be wise to keep it a secret.
I’d feel a little betrayed…I have to confess, I’m not fond of the idea of my boyfriend having a really deep emotional relationship with anybody but me. But that’s because I’m the only person, male or female, to whom he’s ever opened up. He doesn’t do the emotional relationship thing.
Mainly I’d be hurt. Very, very hurt. As things stand I’m my boyfriend’s primary emotional outlet, and if he hired someone else to do it it would be a direct statement that my support is inadequate. I mother him when he needs it. If he needed it all the time, I’d prefer that he get therapy to deal with the problem.
That sounded really bitchy and controlling, so let me clarify: I don’t mind it when my boyfriend is close friends with other girls/women. It’s just that his having that open of an emotional relationship with anyone he wasn’t dating would be a complete 180 from his normal MO, and that kind of thing naturally makes one concerned.
Did somebody get a little too involved with “CSI” this week? The “case” this week involved a rich businessman/casino owner/whatever who was secretly very much into infantilism and had a young woman who was his “mommy”.
